You've been a pretty bad kid this year. Not even Mrs. Claus could convince me to simply overlook these...these terrible deeds of yours! One could tell simply by looking at your horns and tail that you are not exactly nice list material...
Fortunately for you, though, Santa ran out of coal. The elves complained that it was too cold and threatened to form some kind of union or something. So I had to give them my stash of coal. So whiny. Anyhow, I will, instead, gift you with this...strange object.
Wait...what? You did not expect Santa to be like this? WELL. If I was really some kind of jolly pushover like how they depict me in those movies, then how would I run an entire factory, huh? Keep control over all those crazy elves and keep the reindeer from flying away? How else would I deal with those occasional talking misfit toys and snowmen? Exactly.
Anyhow, I hope that, next year, you will do more good deeds. And perhaps consider removing those horns and tails. You may look dashing, but you will scare the children-
What? No, I did NOT steal this from Carl's shop in the dead of the night. Santa would never do something like that!
*"Rudolph, I think he's onto us!"*
Well...Merry Christmas...and, remember what I said about good deeds! I'll just be going on my merry way,now.
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