Tell me a story... (RESULTS ARE IN!!!!!)

[BioluminescentGirl]

Radioactive Kitten9

My mistake

To be honest when I saw how short this was I didn't think it would be very good, but you definitely surprised me! Somehow you managed to capture the whole story in a few quick sentences, and I'm not quite sure how you did it.
There was one thing though- Spelling! Spelling and grammatical errors. I'm sorry, but I'm too literate to ignore them. They drive me insane XD

[Kitten Maeda]

emo

Blackcat6349

Radioactive Kitten9

My mistake

To be honest when I saw how short this was I didn't think it would be very good, but you definitely surprised me! Somehow you managed to capture the whole story in a few quick sentences, and I'm not quite sure how you did it.
There was one thing though- Spelling! Spelling and grammatical errors. I'm sorry, but I'm too literate to ignore them. They drive me insane XD

sorry if it bothers u ill correct it
sweatdrop

[Kitten Maeda]

My mistake

Kaitlyn (me): half vampire
Morgan (him): half elf

I sensed the arrival of dawn, though the inn's small room was dark and shuttered. It called me from my slumber so i began getting ready for another horiffic day. The first night with Morgan in my arms lingered in my memory, my arm streched out over his chest his hand on my legs which were intertwined with his. I feared for him, but perhaps if I kept him close he would be out of harms way even from my blood lust . . . oh how I was wrong. That night . . . that horriable night I lost my love and my very own life. We had been making love to eachother and all of a sudden I felt the urge to bite him but igroned it continuing on for a bit then as if I was being controled I sniffed his neck and bit into his soft honey-suckle smelling flesh and ignored his pleads. Then all of a sudden a sharp pain exploded in my spine and I released my grip on his neck and yelped. I turned my head seeing a silver spiral dagger in Morgans hand. I snarled hatfully and shot forward baring my fangs that glinted in the pourly lit room while I bit into his wrist, hearing his hollow bones crunch over his blood currdling screams. His hand dropped onto the ground with a thud. I watched him die of blood loss and as I stared at his died body my own body gave out. I layed there on the floor and as I did a man walked in front of me then crouched down and said to me "Thank you dear for killing that boy whom i hate so much." He smiled and pulled out a weird colored elixer and took off the top "Drink up please it will save you from the pain of heart break and that horable gouge in your back." He then pressed the bottles' rim to my lips then tilted the bottle up and forced me to drink. I drank it within, seconds I felt cold and couldn't move and then . . . everything was dreadfully dark. I've been in hell for five dreadful years and I relive that night everyday and I think to myself what a horable mistake I made

[Kitten Maeda]

theres probly still errors sweatdrop srry im trying to write my book so i wasnt trying alot and now i have to practice guitar im so srry

[BioluminescentGirl]

 Hello everyone! The contest will be ending in seven days! Thank you all so much for your participation!
There are a few things I should mention before the judging begins next week.
- First of all, if you are unaware of this, you may rewrite a story and send it to me through PM for a better chance. You may do this twice, however I will not critique you on the second or third entry. You may not send in a completely different story, and if you do I will simply ignore the second completely.
- Secondly, I am still looking for judges to help me judge all the pieces! You will have to be willing to read all of them by the judging date (June 18th) and selected your favorites. Also, if you are a judge you will not be able to participate in the competition, and if you have already entered you will be disqualified. However, if you do choose to judge I might slip in a little bit of gold for you for all the help wink
- The third thing I would like to mention is to spend your time reviewing the grammar! I know it seems like I'm judging really harshly on this but I'm not. It might be worth your time to run your work through a spell check, which can be found online (just use Google to find one). 
- I have just been informed that I have two different deadlines. That is a mistake on my part, I wrote it in my calendar for the wrong day XD. The deadline was originally June 16th, but I made a mistake when I was asked the question for a second time saying it was the 17th. The deadline will be the 17th, which gives you all an extra day to fix up your pieces! I'm sorry for the confusion.
- If you haven't already, I would recommend subscribing to this contest. If you don't know how you can do this by scrolling to the top or the bottom of the page and clicking on the big "subscribe" button. Doing this will allow you to receive an alert whenever somebody enters a new post.
- Last but certainly not least I have decided to add a third place of 10k gold. Now the places will go as follows:
1st place: 50,000 gold
2nd place: 30,000 gold
3rd place: 10,000 gold

Thank you so much everyone! This was my very first time hosting a contest like this, so thanks for putting up with me and my extreme disorganization with the whole ordeal! Good luck to everyone!

[Majestic Potato Queen]

My story is in poetry.

Walking through dense forest, late at night,
Darkness around me, almost without any light,
A set of glowing red eyes pear at me from all the black,
Noticing them, I hesitantly stare back,
A dark figure comes close, I Slowly back away,
it lunges at me, and grabs me as if nothing, I wiegh,
It is a man, but not, he pins me firmly to the ground,
I try to scream, but I cannot make a sound,
He leans close, I feel breathing on my neck,
He places there, a gentle peck,
Then at once, i feel a sharp pain,
I feel him sucking, am I going insane?
A vampire, here I am going to die,
I feel weaker and weaker, and I cry,
At last he stops, and licks the bite,
I looks up at him dazed, did he keep me alive for spite?
He looks me in the eyes and asks me, am i alright,
I cant speak, try as I might,
He says to me, just close your eyes and sleep,
My eyes start closing, and I begin to weep,
They shut all the way, And I cannot see,
I must be dead, as the darkness closes around me.

[BioluminescentGirl]

Jyurri_the_Vampire

My story is in poetry.

Dark and mysterious and compelling, but in need of editing for grammar, spelling and capitalization XD

[Majestic Potato Queen]

Blackcat6349

Jyurri_the_Vampire

My story is in poetry.

Dark and mysterious and compelling, but in need of editing for grammar, spelling and capitalization XD

Yeah, I was in a hurry. I am truly sorry.

[BioluminescentGirl]

Jyurri_the_Vampire

Blackcat6349

Jyurri_the_Vampire

My story is in poetry.

Dark and mysterious and compelling, but in need of editing for grammar, spelling and capitalization XD

Yeah, I was in a hurry. I am truly sorry.

No excuses emotion_donotwant
Lol, I'm just teasing you. Anyway, you do get another chance if you want. (See post above your submission)

[Majestic Potato Queen]

Blackcat6349

Jyurri_the_Vampire

Blackcat6349

Jyurri_the_Vampire

My story is in poetry.

Dark and mysterious and compelling, but in need of editing for grammar, spelling and capitalization XD

Yeah, I was in a hurry. I am truly sorry.

No excuses emotion_donotwant
Lol, I'm just teasing you. Anyway, you do get another chance if you want. (See post above your submission)

This is my revised version of my story, please forgive me for my previous errors.


Walking through dense forest, late at night,
Darkness around me, almost without any light,
A set of glowing red eyes peer at me from all the black,
Noticing them, I hesitantly stare back,
A dark figure comes close, I slowly back away,
it lunges at me, and grabs me as if nothing, I weigh,
It is a man, but not, he pins me firmly to the ground,
I try to scream, but I cannot make a sound,
He leans close, I feel breathing on my neck,
He places there, a gentle peck,
Then at once, i feel a sharp pain,
I feel him sucking, am I going insane?
A vampire, here I am going to die,
I feel weaker and weaker, and I cry,
At last he stops, and licks the bite,
I looks up at him dazed, did he keep me alive for spite?
He looks me in the eyes and asks me, am i alright,
I cant speak, try as I might,
He says to me, just close your eyes and sleep,
My eyes start closing, and I begin to weep,
They shut all the way, And I cannot see,
I must be dead, as the darkness closes around me.

[BioluminescentGirl]

jj1027

Chevix

Hakizimana Inu

Congrats! Judging is finished, and the three above are the winners!
First place (50k): jj1027
Second place (30k): Chevix
Third place (10k): Hakizimana Inu

I'm going to go to the marketplace right now and give y'all your rewards! (If you don't have a trading pass yet, you should grab one quick!)
Thank everyone soooo much for making this so much fun! you guys are the best, and I wish I could give you all first place awards! (I would too, but I'm not quite that stinking rich xd )
Again, thanks so much to everyone!