I didn't even read the whole thing seeing as it didn't really tickle my fancy. I also noticed the Center Alignment seeing as I love using it when I'm writing as it kinda gives the readers a little change up from the usual left-to-right reading...even though they are still reading left-to-right anyway.
Though, as it seems here, you kinda abused it with the way you wrote the story. Chunky paragraphs aren't Center Alignment friendly seeing as it is mostly used for three to four lines or max at six, but, more than that, and it should be left or right sided alignment.
Statistically speaking, you can only hear a gunshot for miles if there is open country around you as opposed to the buildings seeing as, yes buildings can reflect sound, but it has to be a lot of sound in order to be reflected at the magnitude of "miles".
As soon as I saw the paragraph's though I was done. I know you copy and pasted all of that to here, but you still could have kept the integrity of the story with dividing the paragraphs up like you have them on WordPad or Microsoft Word so the ones coming in to help you comment didn't get this gorilla paragraph accompanied by smaller chunky paragraphs.
I would also put in more detail early on like - what your character looks like, what the city looks like, and generally be more descriptive in the surroundings of the story. I know it's hard seeing as you just really want to get what you feel is important early on to get that out of the way, but readers like descriptions and not just the facts.
One more thing before I leave off - RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH! Research is a Writers best friend because it can make or break the story just as much as the descriptions and details. I mostly use Google for my research seeing as it's like 50% reliable (can't believe everything you read), and I have learned a lot from it.
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