Life is Sweet || Open and Accepting!

[Smile C I E L]

xxxx

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All that gazing out the window through the storm had barely lasted ten seconds. Contrary to what he’d first expected, it wasn’t just the creepy crossing guard that brought Cyrus’ attention back to his work. There were a few extra tweaks to be made to this special piece for the evening’s broadcast, and he was close enough to finished that, with the right amount of concentration, he’d be able to send it off.

Cyrus had just been at the end of transferring the edited segment into their cloud when there was a knock at the window. His head snapped upright, his eyes widening with what was at first a bit of a surprise, then over-emphasized.

Cyrus pushed his feet off of the opposite dashboard, shifting himself to be back firmly on the driver’s side. He outstretched his right hand to open the passenger door. His left remained clutched around the base of his laptop, steadying it as much as one could in this position. He held the door open for Logan. ”Oh, no. Water! Hurry, now. You’ve got to find shelter before you catch pneumonia. And drown!”

Once Cyrus was sure Logan had the door, he retracted his right hand right back to his laptop. His eyes darted towards the screen with what, to his relief, was the last check he’d have to make all day. The file had finished transferring. He double-clicked on the project to ensure that it appeared as intended.

”No need to ask about your day. Clearly, you fought a swimming pool,” Cyrus turned his head away from the screen as he spoke. He clicked through the menu without facing it, then shut the laptop entirely, and dropped it down in the back seat of his car.

”I’m making a stand for journalistic integrity by ignoring any revision requests, which, unlike your feelings, are five-fourths of a percent rock-dwelling brainwashing victim amounts of feckin’ stupid. And not the psycho-cult kind. Unless social media’s become a cult. So…” His back cracked as he twisted to face forward, a fact which he chose to ignore in favor of talking about himself. His hands settled on the wheel, his head still turned towards Logan, at least waiting until she had closed the door. ”What I mean to say, my lady, is, I’m at your disposal. Tell me where to go. If it doesn’t involve learning, sunshine or patients, I’ll be there... I’ll drop you off at home, first, of course. Why the hell would I want you around?”

When Logan had first come to stay with the Campbells, Cyrus had to watch his mouth. He’d tried so hard at the beginning not to be the un-distilled being of sarcasm that he truly was. While it was hard to think that things had settled into a true ‘normal’ for the family, Cyrus had started using it as a means of affection. There was enough good faith and understanding between them that he knew she understood how much more it meant for him to pretend he didn't want someone around, and have them 'get' that he didn't mean a word of it, than it did for him to come right out and say something sentimental enough to inspire Hallmark cards and vomit.

Or, at least, if Logan was bothered by this, Cyrus was oblivious enough not to realize it.

There was an eagerness in the way Cyrus was waiting for Logan’s answer that seemed almost reminiscent of a dog waiting to play. ”Seriously. Do not try to tell me you have homework. If you touch another paper today, I’ll have failed as a role model. Plus, you’ll get your damp hand marks all over it. You’d end up with wet, crinkly printer paper. You can't write on that s**t.” he lifted one of his hands off of the wheel and flung it about, gesturing for emphasis.



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[ where ? || outside the high school ] [ who ? || logan ] [ feeling ? || avoiding work like a good parent ] [ outfit ]

[Sm00thi3]

▸ ▹ Logan | Marie | Campbell ◃ ◂

❝When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
With the cataclysm raining down
Your insides crying, “Save me now”
You were there, impossibly alone

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you’ve known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go.
Let it go.❞

As soon as Cyrus had opened the door, Logan climbed into the car, and shut the door. She swung her pack off her back and onto the floor at her feet. The ends of her hair were wet, because unlike the rest of her head, they failed to find shelter from the water falling from the sky under her hood. Listening to Cyrus talk, Logan was incredibly happy to endure his sarcasm. She knew that it was when he was using sarcasm that Cyrus was in a good mood. It was refreshing after a long day of reading.

Considering his comment about things she would need to do, she quickly put her wet hand on her dry chin and pondered. She had this feeling that she was forgetting something, so she reached into her bag and withdrew her planner. She rubbed her fingertips on her jeans, hoping that they would dry a little before she paged through the small thing. She read the most recent entry, and spoke up, ”I have to read a few chapters of crap for History and Literature. I have to write a journal entry… But let’s be honest, I’ll probably just skim those chapters, and B-S the journal entry Sunday night. Uh.. Oh! And I have to put in a shift at the firehouse on Saturday. Oh! And… Sunday there’s a basketball game… I have to be there… I have to play.” As soon as the word ‘Saturday’ came out of her mouth, her very cheerful eyes filled with some panic. She turned to her journal and read the note she made about the weekend.

She laughed nervously to herself, and fiddled with her thumbs. ’Oh lord, do I like… tell him about Dave? Like, I don’t know how he’ll feel about me going on a date… With a guy… with… male parts… Oh lord… Will he be mad? Will he be chill with it? I don’t know if I should tell him!’ she thought to herself. Her uneasiness would have been quite panic with the way she formed her eyes, and how she fiddled with her thumbs. Usually, she would just sit in a chair, and jiggle her leg if she was calm, but now there were the thumbs. The thumbs were the traitors to her keeping secrets. She tried to put on a fake smile to draw attention away from her thumbs, because she didn’t really want Cyrus to catch on.

Logan took in a deep breath, trying to go over her weekend in her brain. If her adopted mother approved of the date, she and Lilly could help her get ready for it. Logan knew she didn’t have a talent for what she and her friends referred to ‘girling it up’. She didn’t have much experience expressing her feminine side, and admittedly wanted to learn more how to do it, but she just didn’t really have a reason to try. The young adult wanted Cyrus’s help, but was afraid to tell him. She wouldn’t want to lie to him either. So, if he asked, she would tell.

❝And in a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into starts
You feel the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space
With no one there to catch you in their arms.

Do you feel gold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you’ve known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go.
Let it go.
❞

Iridescent by Linkin Park

Where: Cyrus's Vehicle With whom: Cyrus Wearing: This

[Smile C I E L]

xxxx

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”Good thing there weren’t two of you. Another girl and they’d be drowning in sorrow,” as opposed to the plural of sorrows, which, if they weren’t hypothetically discussing teenagers, wouldn’t have been as hard to take.

Cyrus raised one of his eyebrows to Logan and watched for her response. There was a flash of a cocky grin on his face at first, as if waiting for some confirmation that she was impressed he’d caught on. ”Yeah. I made it through bible camp. For fifteen hours. Until we got to gambling with Job. Evidently, camp counselors, don’t like calling the oldest man a d**k…”

There didn’t seem to be any signs that they were leaving, soon. Cyrus could have guessed where to go from here, but the storm was so heavy that he didn’t really feel like it. Instead, he crossed one leg over the other, shifting into a position which in no way would have helped driving, and may or may not have helped his comfort level. It did, at least, put him in reasonable range to press the lock on his door.

”The second one. One hundred and fifteen percent the second one. Read the whole thing before class, you’ll waste the class time learning the same stuff anyway. If you aren’t redacting experiences from that journal to avoid detention or failing grades, you’re failing life,” he agreed, a little more genuine about this than he probably should’ve been. ”If they call you out, then, say you got trapped in an elevator and delivered a baby. I don’t know. They can’t be the a*****e that’s anti-baby.”

Cyrus propped one elbow against the arm rest and slouched towards his hand, giving off an image of careless relaxation. In that momentary pause, it would’ve been all too easy to think he’d stopped paying attention—possibly even fallen halfway asleep. Instead, he’d been waiting for Logan to say what she wanted to do, instead of what she maybe had to do.

Slowly, gradually enough that it may have gone unnoticed, Cyrus’ head turned to glance at Logan directly. ”By the way, if you’re trying not to tell me something, the correct reply’s to tell me something else so I stop thinking about it…” he suggested, fairly certain that something was keeping her from answering, but with no idea what the problem was, as was likely evident in the statement to follow. ”If you killed someone, raise your hand. I need to avoid testifying. Anything else, just, tell me. No wires, here.”



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[ where ? || outside the high school ] [ who ? || logan ] [ feeling ? || avoiding work like a good parent ] [ outfit ]

[Sm00thi3]

▸ ▹ Logan | Marie | Campbell ◃ ◂

❝When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
With the cataclysm raining down
Your insides crying, “Save me now”
You were there, impossibly alone

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you’ve known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go.
Let it go.❞

Logan couldn’t help but let out a nervous chuckle when Cyrus caught onto her hesitation. Her nervous chuckle morphed into an outright laugh, when he suggested that she might have killed someone. After her eyes started to tear from laughing, she took in a few deep breaths to simmer down her reaction. The young adult turned her gaze towards the passenger side window, and began scanning for faces she recognized. Before saying anything, she began chewing her thumbnail nervously. I have to tell him… For Pete’s sake, I’m going to tell him.. I’m going to… Maybe I shouldn’t she thought to herself.

Trying to break the silence, she quickly grabbed a small handful of her own hair, and pulled it across her face like a mustache. She puckered her lips as she spoke, ”I must-ache you a question, Cyrus!” She released her hair and leaned back in the seat. Nibbling on her bottom lip she considered the implications for what she’d be asking, and what Cyrus might say, but she knew that she would have to tell him eventually. She took in a deep breath, and held it for a moment. For that small duration of time her cheeks had inflated greatly. She furrowed her eyebrows and turned to Cyrus.

”A guy asked me out to dinner and a movie… Saturday. Well not a guy… A boy… A senior… High school senior… So.. A guy.. er…” Logan struggled through her statement. She took in another deep breath, and then continued with her question ”I wanted to know if it was okay if I went out…. To dinner… with the boy… I mean… On a date.” She nodded when it was all out in the open and then looked down from Cyrus. She wanted him to say yes, but a state of panic started to take over as her thoughts continued on. ’Oh no! What if Cyrus does say yes? What would I wear? Would I have to shave my legs?... Do I have to weak make up. Oh no… Will I have to wear heels? If I wear open toed shoes, I’ll have to do my nails… Crap!!! Logan tried to mentally prepare herself for all the crap she would have to endure to look like a female for her date.

The young adult had never been on a date. She had never expressed interest in boys, or girls for that matter. In fact, she always spoke about her main focus being basketball and medicine. Relationships never seemed to be on her mind, outright anyway. The truth was that Logan was always struggling with her feelings for others. The struggle was that she couldn’t tell if she was actually sexually attracted to males or females. She hadn’t really taken much time to consider these things or try anything with either ‘species’. Dating was too complex, and too complicated before life with the Campbells. She only hoped her adopted mother would help her navigate the world of being a woman and dating.

"Oh.. and uh.. We could just go home.. I need to change" she laughed signaling to her wet clothes; she wanted to be in dry clothing.

❝And in a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into starts
You feel the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space
With no one there to catch you in their arms.

Do you feel gold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you’ve known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go.
Let it go.
❞

Iridescent by Linkin Park

Where: Cyrus's Vehicle With whom: Cyrus Wearing: This