This represents my disability and what I wanted to do in life; act on stage. Yeah I tried to do a mock of Phantom of the Opera there.
But what I have, complex regional pain syndrome, feels like my entire body is on fire. I feel like someone's doused me in fluid and set me on fire.
That's my nightmare. To be on fire on stage. To be in so much pain that I'm crying and I can't go on. Since CRPS only can make my limbs swell and you really can't notice it unless you know what it is, I represented it with real fire.
It's why I'll never act again.
On my worst days, I dream of pain. I dream of pain pulling me back. I can never escape it. Yeah that's a little creepy and depressing, but that's my actual bad dream.