My husband was struggling as I am getting sicker. Between work and the house, he needed help. He needed help to take care of me. We found away.
I have a friend who is the inverse. I don't care as long as all parties are happy, healthy, loved, and taken care of. As well everyone in agreement of how everything works. My alpha ( Boyfriend/ I'm collared) and my husband work together and take turns. Husband works days and home nights to take care of me and the kids. Boyfriend works nights and home days to do the same.
You're living the dream.. Aside from the cancer thing and all.
Never. You should never even bother, people are liars and only out for themselves. If you think they like you, they only like you for your vag or because they can get something out of you. What you think you have, you don't, it doesn't last, and it's fake anyway and when it ends, it hurts.
No, I agree, you have valid points.. The problem is everything you described is akin to winning the lottery.
People, in general, will put survival over caring for others. It's the select few who are selfless that are so hard to find.
The thing I don't like about polyamory is how it's a "have your cake and eat it too" mentality. But if you really think about it, animals aren't meant to be monogamous. Humans aren't an exception just because we can think for ourselves. Heck, thinking for yourself opens up untold ways to get what you want, inconveniences be dammed.
Astral Felidae
Well, I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise because I can tell you're not open to that.
But I'd like to explain my side. I'll put it in a spoiler so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.
I still disagree. I believe "real" relationships can exist. But people are cruel and can leave you jaded after breaking your heart. But there are some genuinely kind and caring people in the world. Sometimes they can be hard to find and sometimes they appear in really unexpected places, and sometimes in really inconvenient places.
For example, my now-fiance and I were best friends all through the relationship I had before him. And I definitely made some mistakes and caused some hurt when I finally realized that my fiance gets me more than any other person i've ever met, including my boyfriend at the time. Figuring out I loved him and that he loves me was REALLY inconvenient and REALLY unexpected, but now we've been together for more than two years and I have never felt more secure in my life.
Plus, ex-boyfriend and I are now relatively good friends, despite really hurting him.
In addition, my fiance helped me discover things about myself that I never would've known were it not for him helping me discover them. He helped me discover that I am polyamorous.
Now, the question you posed about having cancer or being poor or having an addiction problem is perhaps a little unfair. For one, not all relationships need to have a tragic element to be true; conversely, not all stable relationships have happy endings either.
Going back to the example of me and my fiance: I'm poor as hell. I come from a family that has NO money. Both of my parents are disabled and can't work. I am thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt from school, not to mention I'm majoring in something with a very narrow job market and it's possible I'll never work in my desired field. I'm not a lazy bum either, though. I go to school full time, plus I have two jobs and I'm a freelance musician. But I'm still poor and my fiance still loves me. In terms of material things, I can't really do much for him. I can dip into my student loans to get him a birthday or christmas present and if I see something in the clearance section of the store I might be able to spare a few bucks, but all of my support for him is emotional, physical, mental, and intellectual. He doesn't need to stick around, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were someone in the world way better for him than me. And I've told him before that he deserves any love that comes his way, if he wants it, whether or not it involves me is irrelevant. But he stays. He tells me every night that he loves me, he'll never leave me, and he's always here for me. I'm a s**t fiance and he still manages to stick around and find reasons to love me. And I love him all the more for it.
Now, for me, having someone else enter my life is a different process than someone who is monogamous. What is truly delusional is for people to think that they can be the perfect fit for their lover, always. In MOST CASES, that is not true. The part of your mind that finds people attractive or that controls emotional response does not simply shut off once you enter a relationship. It IS possible so control one's urges to go behind a lover's back, but it is ALSO possible for there to be a way for all parties to consent to something outside of the primary relationship. It's all about being honest with the people around you. If a relationship is founded on lies and deceit, it can't be a healthy relationship at all, whereas if you go into a relationship explaining what it is you need, it's likely that someone will be able to work with you on it. No person can be perfect. But it's accepting that human imperfection that makes it possible to open yourself up to another person.
I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling and a lot of this probably doesn't make much sense, but thank you for reading, if you did.
Never. You should never even bother, people are liars and only out for themselves. If you think they like you, they only like you for your vag or because they can get something out of you. What you think you have, you don't, it doesn't last, and it's fake anyway and when it ends, it hurts.
So never.
The bitter is real.
Daaamn.
Nobody asked you. rolleyes
No, but this is a public forum. ;D
Yeah, and a street is a public place. You going to interrupt a group of people speaking just because you're within earshot? rolleyes
Wow, so it was really all a matter of the two of them wanting to take care of you, no matter what it takes. Do either of the boys get jealous? (I mean, I know that might be a silly question. I guess the better question is: How do they cope with any jealousy?)
That's about it. My husband saw the love that Marshy had for me, and how he gave into anything I needed. He also knew he was struggling int he bedroom, so he came to me and suggested it.
Actually. They don't. In ways you think they would get jealous, they don't.
When most guys would get jealous, another guys hands were on their girl, they work together to tease me or pick on me. One will slap one side of my a**, the other will get the other cheek. I have my nipples pierces and they love tugging on them. One on one side the other on the other side.
It's really a normal household with two guys.
Wow, that's really amazing.
#relationshipgoals
Really though, that's all really interesting. I'm poly too, but the whole thing is pretty new to me and my fiance. He is not poly, or at least, he doesn't know if he is yet. But I am. I just recently met a girl that I'm going a little crazy over and, while my fiance is cool with me being poly and is willing to work with the idea of an open relationship, he's still struggling with the whole thing. Which means I'm struggling with it too. ^^
No, I agree, you have valid points.. The problem is everything you described is akin to winning the lottery.
People, in general, will put survival over caring for others. It's the select few who are selfless that are so hard to find.
The thing I don't like about polyamory is how it's a "have your cake and eat it too" mentality. But if you really think about it, animals aren't meant to be monogamous. Humans aren't an exception just because we can think for ourselves. Heck, thinking for yourself opens up untold ways to get what you want, inconveniences be dammed.
Astral Felidae
Well, I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise because I can tell you're not open to that.
But I'd like to explain my side. I'll put it in a spoiler so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.
I still disagree. I believe "real" relationships can exist. But people are cruel and can leave you jaded after breaking your heart. But there are some genuinely kind and caring people in the world. Sometimes they can be hard to find and sometimes they appear in really unexpected places, and sometimes in really inconvenient places.
For example, my now-fiance and I were best friends all through the relationship I had before him. And I definitely made some mistakes and caused some hurt when I finally realized that my fiance gets me more than any other person i've ever met, including my boyfriend at the time. Figuring out I loved him and that he loves me was REALLY inconvenient and REALLY unexpected, but now we've been together for more than two years and I have never felt more secure in my life.
Plus, ex-boyfriend and I are now relatively good friends, despite really hurting him.
In addition, my fiance helped me discover things about myself that I never would've known were it not for him helping me discover them. He helped me discover that I am polyamorous.
Now, the question you posed about having cancer or being poor or having an addiction problem is perhaps a little unfair. For one, not all relationships need to have a tragic element to be true; conversely, not all stable relationships have happy endings either.
Going back to the example of me and my fiance: I'm poor as hell. I come from a family that has NO money. Both of my parents are disabled and can't work. I am thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt from school, not to mention I'm majoring in something with a very narrow job market and it's possible I'll never work in my desired field. I'm not a lazy bum either, though. I go to school full time, plus I have two jobs and I'm a freelance musician. But I'm still poor and my fiance still loves me. In terms of material things, I can't really do much for him. I can dip into my student loans to get him a birthday or christmas present and if I see something in the clearance section of the store I might be able to spare a few bucks, but all of my support for him is emotional, physical, mental, and intellectual. He doesn't need to stick around, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were someone in the world way better for him than me. And I've told him before that he deserves any love that comes his way, if he wants it, whether or not it involves me is irrelevant. But he stays. He tells me every night that he loves me, he'll never leave me, and he's always here for me. I'm a s**t fiance and he still manages to stick around and find reasons to love me. And I love him all the more for it.
Now, for me, having someone else enter my life is a different process than someone who is monogamous. What is truly delusional is for people to think that they can be the perfect fit for their lover, always. In MOST CASES, that is not true. The part of your mind that finds people attractive or that controls emotional response does not simply shut off once you enter a relationship. It IS possible so control one's urges to go behind a lover's back, but it is ALSO possible for there to be a way for all parties to consent to something outside of the primary relationship. It's all about being honest with the people around you. If a relationship is founded on lies and deceit, it can't be a healthy relationship at all, whereas if you go into a relationship explaining what it is you need, it's likely that someone will be able to work with you on it. No person can be perfect. But it's accepting that human imperfection that makes it possible to open yourself up to another person.
I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling and a lot of this probably doesn't make much sense, but thank you for reading, if you did.
Yeah. Believe me, I know I'm a LUCKY girl.
I still think that it's entirely possible for a person to find someone willing to put selflessness on par with survival.
Well, what's wrong with having your cake and eating it too, especially if no one else has a problem with it? I generally agree that humans are inherently wired like animals to desire multiple sexual partners, so as long as those relationships aren't built on lies and deceit... what's truly wrong with it?
the whole thing is pretty new to me and my fiance. He is not poly, or at least, he doesn't know if he is yet. But I am. I just recently met a girl that I'm going a little crazy over and, while my fiance is cool with me being poly and is willing to work with the idea of an open relationship, he's still struggling with the whole thing. Which means I'm struggling with it too. ^^
It's definitely a struggle, if it's what you really want I wish you the best of luck. Men are territorial by nature and to the average guy, the thought of sharing his girl is akin to letting some stranger handle his d**k in the men's room while it takes a piss. I also was in a LTR where my partner of 4 years decided out of the blue she was poly. Must have taken her a long time to reach this conclusion. We had an hour long chat that involved many tears and in the end I gave in to her manipulations that this was best for "us".. In the end she just wanted to see as many people in a short span. Though I knew of most of them, there were some she wasn't open about, some she flat-out hid. She went completely against her own words of honesty and openness.
So I wish you the best of luck, from the sounds of things I hope your hubby to be and you reach an agreement that doesn't hurt anyone.
Wow, that's really amazing.
#relationshipgoals
Really though, that's all really interesting. I'm poly too, but the whole thing is pretty new to me and my fiance. He is not poly, or at least, he doesn't know if he is yet. But I am. I just recently met a girl that I'm going a little crazy over and, while my fiance is cool with me being poly and is willing to work with the idea of an open relationship, he's still struggling with the whole thing. Which means I'm struggling with it too. ^^
The thing is open relationship and Poly are not the same thing. Open relationship is just sex and fun. Poly is taking the whole picture. Responsibilities, bad days, good days. Being Poly means the other SO accepts and wants it, not just "oh, okay.. yea, have fun.. I'll sit here." If it makes him uncomfortable, don't do it. I'm not trying to be rude, or offend you. I've just seen a lot of relationships crash because of someone wanting to be with both, and not seeing that it hurts one of them. That's why the Sister Wives show is such a mess, and we have things like " Escaping Polygamy." There has to be a balance, a friendship, an acceptance there.
the whole thing is pretty new to me and my fiance. He is not poly, or at least, he doesn't know if he is yet. But I am. I just recently met a girl that I'm going a little crazy over and, while my fiance is cool with me being poly and is willing to work with the idea of an open relationship, he's still struggling with the whole thing. Which means I'm struggling with it too. ^^
It's definitely a struggle, if it's what you really want I wish you the best of luck. Men are territorial by nature and to the average guy, the thought of sharing his girl is akin to letting some stranger handle his d**k in the men's room while it takes a piss. I also was in a LTR where my partner of 4 years decided out of the blue she was poly. Must have taken her a long time to reach this conclusion. We had an hour long chat that involved many tears and in the end I gave in to her manipulations that this was best for "us".. In the end she just wanted to see as many people in a short span. Though I knew of most of them, there were some she wasn't open about, some she flat-out hid. She went completely against her own words of honesty and openness.
So I wish you the best of luck, from the sounds of things I hope your hubby to be and you reach an agreement that doesn't hurt anyone.
Yeah, that's not poly. At all. THAT is what gives poly people a bad name. If you're not honest with EVERYONE about EVERY aspect of the relationship, you're not poly. You're cheating.
I don't want to do that to my fiance at all. While I do find that I can love other people, it doesn't diminish my love for him. I he knows that, which is why we're able to build toward one or both of us having other SOs. It's actually taken me a long time to get to the point where I felt comfortable pursuing another SO. In fact, my fiance LITERALLY PUSHED me toward the girl I'm seeing now to get her number. He's been really supportive, despite the struggle.
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