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Familiar Businessman

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The s**t haunts me and I can't get away from it.

Don't know what to do to get these images out of my head and forget about them.

Dangerous Bloodsucker

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I look at dead bodies all the time on the net. As well as other sick twisted s**t. But I know why I do it. The question is, why did/do you?

Familiar Businessman

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SpunkyStrikesAgain
I look at dead bodies all the time on the net. As well as other sick twisted s**t. But I know why I do it. The question is, why did/do you?


Ever since I was a child I was fascinated by gross s**t. I watched Happy Tree Friends at a very young age back when it was on Comedy Central and I use to try and find bloody pictures on Google Images.
I eventually progressed to animal cruelty videos on Youtube, and then it went to child abuse videos, and then I headed straight into Creepypasta. It didn't take long for someone to introduce me to a gore site. I went to Rotten, Bestgore, /r/rgore, and Charonboat. It was like a train wreckj and I couldn't look away. I saw images, videos, gifs. Hangings, skinnings, decapitations, train wrecks, car wrecks, fires. I ended up going through all of Bestgore's photos.
Eventually I decided to take a hiatus and during that hiatus was when I knew that I needed to stop. This s**t started affecting me in negative ways. I'd have nightmares, I'd have trouble sleeping at night, I had anxiety attacks, and I was too scared to commit suicide because I didn't want someone to have to look at my dead body.

It sounds like I'm going through a severe case of PTSD but I just wanted to check in with other websites as well so I can make sure.

Dangerous Bloodsucker

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Well, if it's getting to you this much you should probably talk to a professional, seeing as there's probably not much anyone online can do for you. I go to all those websites too, but I've never had nightmares over it. I mean I've had dreams about the stuff I saw, but when I have those dreams I like them, so I can't really relate to what you're going through. Maybe it is PTSD. I'm not a doc so I dunno. I really suggest you talk to someone in the medical/psychology field about it tho.

Familiar Businessman

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SpunkyStrikesAgain
Well, if it's getting to you this much you should probably talk to a professional, seeing as there's probably not much anyone online can do for you. I go to all those websites too, but I've never had nightmares over it. I mean I've had dreams about the stuff I saw, but when I have those dreams I like them, so I can't really relate to what you're going through. Maybe it is PTSD. I'm not a doc so I dunno. I really suggest you talk to someone in the medical/psychology field about it tho.


You're one of the lucky ones.

Spam6467's Wife

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Please see a therapist if these images are haunting you so badly. When I was younger I used to have a fascination with gory, gritty things too. I used to research serial killers and it never phased me, the pictures and descriptions of what they did. When I got older I started developing my empathy (really late bloomer) and it did get to me. Not nearly as bad as it did to you apparently. I think talking this out, and your feelings about it out, with a therapist could really help. And if you want to PM me you can talk to me too, I don't mind listening.

Sparkly Vampire

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If it's affecting you still (I'm assuming you no longer look at these sites), it could be a number of different things going on in your subconscious. Counselling would be the best option, maybe you need to figure out what it was that drove you to look at them in the first place.

I think to an extent its normal to look at that sort of stuff. It's the same reason people slow down to look at car crashes, or try and get a glimpse of accident sites. We all seem to be fuelled by some sort of morbid curiosity to a degree, some more than others, and that's ok. I have no idea why some people are like that, they just are. Maybe it's a 'wow I'm thankful that wasn't me' type thing, or a reminder of the fragility of the human body.

Waffles

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I used to go to bestgore.com and look at be headings, suicides, and other nasty s**t. I have the same problem. The images will come back sometimes in your mind, but they'll go away.

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I guess it's time for snuff videos.
Try that 2 guys 1 hammer video or what the ******** ever.
There's some good beheadings.
That'll help you forget. ;]

No, I kid. I guess just try to look up words, articles, and facts about what interests you. Everyone is curious. I used to google s**t like, "Shotgun wound to head" or "naked old people"
That doesn't mean I'm into that s**t. But with google there to safely show you things you may never want to actually see in person, it's easy to venture.

Images are for elementary school. LEARN YOU SOME GOOD STUFFS

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All they are is images of scenarios. You can handle it. One day you'll be faced with a real life dead body. And it's a lot easier to see a low quality picture of a stranger than to first person witness all that comes with it.

Most people get desensitized to the gorey and macabre side of the internet.
Some kids watch a scary movie and then have nightmares and need a nightlight.
But they still wanted to try.
This sounds like you.
You found out it's not your type of entertainment.

porn is fun
learning is fun
getting offline is fun

Familiar Businessman

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Thank you all for your replies.

xXKATOPOTATOXx's Significant Otter

Tipsy Guildswoman

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I used to look up dead bodies, suicide, and suicide notes.
I don't remember how I quit--I think I talked to friends about it and the next day it never crossed my mind.

Shadowy Rogue

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Stubbourn images are much like the tics I deal with every day. Fighting them makes them worse. When a though comes into your head, accept it and become comfortable with it, and it will leave in time, like debris in a stream. Eventually they will stop coming.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but learning to accept and let go of thoughts will allow you to find harmony.

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It's pretty normal to have some morbid curiosity. I like to read about what serial killers did in vivid detail. It's only when you start finding such things arousing or fantasize about doing it yourself that you might have a bit of a problem.
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