Gay African Mammoth
and dancing ensued
Gay African Mammoth
and dancing ensued
Gay African Mammoth
and dancing ensued
well it's more like i'm asking if you've been thinking about this topic this whole time lol
i'm opposed to hitting in general, so that includes hitting kids.
i usually tell my step-siblings to treat people respectfully if they want to be treated respectfully, because if they mistreat people they're probably going to get mistreated as well.
hitting kids just leads to more problems.
According to a lot of the people here it's quite the opposite. Evidently being hit did them good, and I can't say that that is untrue. Maybe it really is true that both have a time and a place.
i'm not convinced.
my brother and i were both spanked - it worked for him, but not for me.
hitting, spanking, i see them as acts of aggression.
hearing someone try to justify hurting me with "it's your fault i hit you because you were misbehaving" just made me not trust them. i knew they didn't like what i did, because they hit me, but it never taught me how to act; it just taught me to avoid the source of the pain.
I get what you mean, but I don't know if I agree that spanking is automatically or inherently an act of aggression. And it sounds to me like when you were spanked or hit, your parents didn't also talk to you and help you understand why it is they did so , and what it was they were trying to teach you. Like I said to me it's not a first thing to go to, if you do then you're abusive and don't understand how to raise a child. There IS a proper way to spank your child, and have them learn from it, without causing the child any mental anguish or harm.
spanking isn't gentle. you are taking the control out of their hands, preventing them from running, bending them over your knee and slapping their butt. if there are others watching it can be humiliating.
i was paraphrasing that quote, my mom always explained.
hitting or spanking made me mad and stubborn, so i refused to listen anymore. i learned how to act in public from people outside of my home, people i trusted because they didn't punish me physically.
If spanking wasn't the answer for you and it didn't fix anything, then your mom was being unnecessary. No one propagates spanking where it isn't necessary or teaches a really good lesson. Someone in the thread spoke about spanking your kid on the hand if they stole something to show them that there are severe punishments for doing this sort of thing, and that later on in life the punishments are far worse. I can get behind this sort of thinking.
Also I don't believe humiliating your kid is an effective means of discipline.
ok so if it wasn't necessary for me, then how can you advocate it will work for everyone?
if no one misused spanking like you say, then this would apply to my mom as well.
the first few times, she had the same point of view as people in this thread. she thought since it worked well with my brother, it would work with me too, but it didn't. the fact that people think spanking is going to work 100% of the time is not something i agree with. my mom didn't spank me differently than any other mom, other people were ok with how she handled me, it was me that wasn't ok with it. she stopped spanking me because she learned reasoning with me worked better, and eventually i trusted her again.
kids act out for different reasons. i used to act out in stores because i would get tired or overheated. there is never going to be a kid that doesn't act out, regardless of how the parent punishes them, but there are different ways of solving such problems. if a child is spoiled, and throws a tantrum and is beyond reason, then i don't think spanking is going to make that go away. if the reason why the child is spoiled doesn't get solved or go away also, you just end up using short term solutions for a long term problem and the child won't understand because you aren't being consistent with what you're trying to teach them.
there
are better ways to discipline, especially when stealing. recently my step-siblings stole some chocolate from the store. we didn't hit them or spank them, we marched them back in and had them give the item back to a worker in the store and apologize. we asked the security guard to give them a lecture. this was the only thing my mom taught me that really stuck with me when she did the same thing to me, but i haven't stolen anything from a store since i was little. i was embarrassed at the time, but it worked for me. it worked on varying levels with 2 of my step-siblings too, but the third doesn't listen to anything (my mom has tried spanking her also) so i think there might be something deeper going on with her.