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How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things. 0.17514040792196 17.5% [ 2370 ]
I add new things. 0.1472805202483 14.7% [ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it). 0.67757907182974 67.8% [ 9169 ]
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Firlodge_the_second rolled 2 12-sided dice: 8, 10 Total: 18 (2-24)

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Nematri
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Nematri
Kirara Yokaze
Zaxoth Arturos
[

((And now to address the monstrosity..))

Quote:
...a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that)


Because, as everyone knows, names of Christian symbols are extreme profanities for the emo/"gothic".
And if anyone has read the entire mostrosity I would like to point out that in the very first chapter she has cross earings on.


Inconsistency is your FRIEND, man! Nobody will notice. Well...except for maybe those pedantic losers in the WF! rofl

And on the subject of the band thing...your MC's band must ALWAYS play depressing angsty music. That's how you know your MC is deeeeeep and meaningful. Because "emo kid" pop-rock is the highest form of art for expressing inner pain. lol

+Yes, never should the band ever. Bands never make bouncy, funny/happy songs any more. God get with the times! They only write emo depressing songs with gooey angst-y wonderfulness! Who wants to hear a band with bouncy songs rolleyes Oh yes, and your band members will never have facial hair ever! What's wrong with you if you play in a band hair automatically just stops growing anywhere near your face.


And it kinda goes over one eye...just like that...*combs hair over* making you look all angsty, see? And it ALWAYS looks perfect.

((My MC is in a band. It's a rather cheesy 80s-style heavy metal band. And his hair is one gigantic mess. Predictably, it gets more gigantic and messy the longer he's been playing.))

Oh, and a word about lyrics and song titles, they must always be pretentious, because pretentious = deep!

Here's a little generator. Roll two dice; match the number you get with the corresponding word. Repeat another 2 times. Then string the words together!

1. Bloody
2. Dark
3. Rose
4. My
5. Tragedy
6. Beautiful
7. Tears
8. Lament
9. Cry
10. Love
11. Romance
12. Crimson


EDIT: I'm not sure what's worse: the fact that I've read all the pages or the fact that I'm proud of it.

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If you've been writing a story and you don't know where it's going, the best thing to do is to play it out as all having been a dream. Even a hollusination. Readers love this! As it catches them completely off-guard.

Also, I recommend that your main character and the villain of your piece have some kind of relasionship. The most origional of these is the parent/child relasionship, however ex lovers is also a possble option. But what is the point if they never knew each other beforehand?

Of course, this can be hidden. I mean, we're all seen Star Wars, haven't we? 'I am your Father!' And look how well that worked out for 'em? Readers don't want suprise, they don't like it, it scares them. They want more evil Fathers.

Not evil Mothers, though. For female characters who are working for the bad-guys should be weak-willed and are only evil when they have been tricked into it.

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In a vampire story always give your main characters 3+ names like 'Destiny Lilith Aschellia' or 'Blood Rayne Moon Gulch' but give side characters short and manageable names like Dean or Topher because they aren't important.

All vampire males must have imposing names like 'Vincent' or some form of European. No names like Michael because who would be afraid of the Vampire Mike? (Or The Vampire Keith for that matter, "Oh! Watch out for Kieth!" )

Every villain you face must be pawned by the main girl, and she must be angsty about it because so n' so's her father/boyfriend/mate/etc.

((Honestly, I see some of these things in the fiction arena and I curse Twilight and all of its Teeny Bopper fans.))

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[ I know. : D ]

The only type of love that should exist in your story is true love. Where your main characters have fallen straight for each other at first sight. Otherwise it is NOT pure and it is NOT worthwhile. You're characters are not truely in love unless they utter, 'I would do anything only to see you happy.' every five minutes. Alternately, two characters who have hated each other for a long time should fall in love. Because everybody knows two people can't simply hate each other, doh.

Oh, and no MC's are never fat. I mean, are you sick? Fat people don't exist in real life so keep it realistic, guys. They are not out of shape in any way, neither are they too tall or short or abnormal as far as looks go. Oh, and if they have some kind of curse to their looks or a scar or abnormality (God forbid), it is a terrible, terrible curse yet it never makes them uglier. Ever. But it's stil just too hard to bare for them.

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Water is a girly element. If you write a story where everyone is assigned elements, the water person must be a girl. Even if she is the only girl. You must never give a guy water powers, because that just wouldn't be manly enough. Light is a girly element, too. And light-based characters have to be healers or something. Because using light in creative, offense-based ways, like lasers, is just WRONG! Light characters must be pure and innocent, and they should never use their powers to hurt anyone.

The dark character must be brooding, secretive, and mysterious. Badass, too. He should have a tragic past, and should angst all the time.

Also, the main character's element must be fire, or maybe earth. Never anything else. God forbid that you be different when assigning your characters elements. That would be silly. Stick to the norm, it's safer.

((The whole "water is for girls" thing annoys me. I mean, look at the old Bionicle stuff. The fire, stone, earth, ice, and air characters were all male, and the water one was ALWAYS the token female. What's up with that, anyway?))

Anxious Noob

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Oceania-Blue
Water is a girly element. If you write a story where everyone is assigned elements, the water person must be a girl. Even if she is the only girl. You must never give a guy water powers, because that just wouldn't be manly enough. Light is a girly element, too. And light-based characters have to be healers or something. Because using light in creative, offense-based ways, like lasers, is just WRONG! Light characters must be pure and innocent, and they should never use their powers to hurt anyone.

The dark character must be brooding, secretive, and mysterious. Badass, too. He should have a tragic past, and should angst all the time.

Also, the main character's element must be fire, or maybe earth. Never anything else. God forbid that you be different when assigning your characters elements. That would be silly. Stick to the norm, it's safer.

((The whole "water is for girls" thing annoys me. I mean, look at the old Bionicle stuff. The fire, stone, earth, ice, and air characters were all male, and the water one was ALWAYS the token female. What's up with that, anyway?))
((Isn't that like the Pink Ranger always being female? Or possibly the Yellow Ranger always being a girl?))

Yes. Water is always girly.

Now that I think about it, men and women wield some elements differently.

"Male" nature powers use plants that aren't necessarily beautiful, but can bring down gigantic beasts. "Female" nature powers always have flowers in them, and are ALWAYS pretty. EVERY SINGLE TIME, even if the plants around her are ugly.

There is only "Female" water casting.

"Male" ice powers are always used in a cool (pun'd) way like making paths of ice to fly on or making blocks that crush peoples' skulls. Girls are more prone to use chilly wins that freeze and powers that induce snow.

Eloquent Flatterer

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When your characters are trying to survive in the wild, all they need be able to do is make a fire. So long as they can make a fire, they are safe from anything that could possibly go wrong, up to and including thirst, harm from the elements, and starvation.

Do not watch any shows about actual survival in the wilderness or read any accounts of it; you already know all you need to regarding this subject. In fact, you get bonus points if you've never been camping as well.

However, once they lose the ability to make a fire, everything is shot to hell. Let the angst and panic begin!

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Oceania-Blue
Water is a girly element. If you write a story where everyone is assigned elements, the water person must be a girl. Even if she is the only girl. You must never give a guy water powers, because that just wouldn't be manly enough. Light is a girly element, too. And light-based characters have to be healers or something. Because using light in creative, offense-based ways, like lasers, is just WRONG! Light characters must be pure and innocent, and they should never use their powers to hurt anyone.

The dark character must be brooding, secretive, and mysterious. Badass, too. He should have a tragic past, and should angst all the time.

Also, the main character's element must be fire, or maybe earth. Never anything else. God forbid that you be different when assigning your characters elements. That would be silly. Stick to the norm, it's safer.

((The whole "water is for girls" thing annoys me. I mean, look at the old Bionicle stuff. The fire, stone, earth, ice, and air characters were all male, and the water one was ALWAYS the token female. What's up with that, anyway?))

((In Gali's defense, she was also the strongest of them all. Plus, without her, Kopaka and Tahu would've killed each other.</nerd>

And yeah, the Pink and Yellow Rangers (to my knowledge) were always girls.))

Water is for healers too. Nevermind that some of the worst natural disasters involve water in some way, your water-casting person will ALWAYS be a healer.

Dapper Rogue

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Minion Ripley

However, once they lose the ability to make a fire, everything is shot to hell. Let the angst and panic begin!


Unless, of course, they realize that they have shelter and can become warm in other ways. wink

Also, if stuck in said blizzard, it's not like they could die of thirst, since they're surrounded by snow, which is just frozen water! God forbid they find out that it melts too quickly and is nowhere near a good source of hydration since there's so little there!

Eloquent Flatterer

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Stand Alone Origin
Minion Ripley

However, once they lose the ability to make a fire, everything is shot to hell. Let the angst and panic begin!


Unless, of course, they realize that they have shelter and can become warm in other ways. wink

Also, if stuck in said blizzard, it's not like they could die of thirst, since they're surrounded by snow, which is just frozen water! God forbid they find out that it melts too quickly and is nowhere near a good source of hydration since there's so little there!

Ah, yes, then we must refer to the classic Blanket Fic Scenario. There's simply no other way that the story could progress. God forbid that they just huddle together for warmth and that's it!

In fact, Blanket Fic's are a requirement for any good story. You must have at least one chapter devoted entirely to this scenario in excruciating detail, or else your story will most assuredly fail. I don't care if the story takes place entirely in a palace; you must find a way to jam one in. I suggest dropping a gigantic forest in the middle of the place if that is such the case. Readers love incongruities like that.

In the case that your characters do get caught in the middle of a blizzard and can't get a fire going due to all the wood being wet, then the story must progress along the lines of the aforementioned Blanket Fic Scenario. It's simply a Universal Writing Rule.

Remember to insert a bunch of completely useless author's notes throughout the ensuing sex scene, such as "A/N: *giggle* Lol that's so gross!" and "A/N: Omg isn't that just so sweet?? ^_^" Your readers will worship you for that. And, if you already put in author's notes throughout the entirety of your story (as you should), make sure to include more than normal then.

Dapper Dabbler

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LeitaKree
Oceania-Blue
Water is a girly element. If you write a story where everyone is assigned elements, the water person must be a girl. Even if she is the only girl. You must never give a guy water powers, because that just wouldn't be manly enough. Light is a girly element, too. And light-based characters have to be healers or something. Because using light in creative, offense-based ways, like lasers, is just WRONG! Light characters must be pure and innocent, and they should never use their powers to hurt anyone.

The dark character must be brooding, secretive, and mysterious. Badass, too. He should have a tragic past, and should angst all the time.

Also, the main character's element must be fire, or maybe earth. Never anything else. God forbid that you be different when assigning your characters elements. That would be silly. Stick to the norm, it's safer.

((The whole "water is for girls" thing annoys me. I mean, look at the old Bionicle stuff. The fire, stone, earth, ice, and air characters were all male, and the water one was ALWAYS the token female. What's up with that, anyway?))

((In Gali's defense, she was also the strongest of them all. Plus, without her, Kopaka and Tahu would've killed each other.</nerd>

And yeah, the Pink and Yellow Rangers (to my knowledge) were always girls.))

Water is for healers too. Nevermind that some of the worst natural disasters involve water in some way, your water-casting person will ALWAYS be a healer.
And the water your MC carries around in a cute pouch never attracts any type of bugs, especially ones that bite. Your MC can also pull enough water out of the air to create a giant wave of water. Remember: logic is dumb.

((Actually, in Power Rangers Ninja Storm the girl was the blue ranger and a boy was the yellow ranger... although... to my knowledge there was no pink ranger or any other girls at all in that season... *such a nerd* ))

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i r panda cake
If you've been writing a story and you don't know where it's going, the best thing to do is to play it out as all having been a dream. Even a hollusination. Readers love this! As it catches them completely off-guard.



Yes, everybody loves it when they're reading an exciting story and the last sentence (or one of the last few sentences) is:

Quote:
And then he woke up in his own bed and realised it had all been a dream.


Or some variation on the theme. No-one ever feels cheated by this sort of ending and it saves you the trouble of having to untangle a messy plot.

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LeitaKree

((In Gali's defense, she was also the strongest of them all. Plus, without her, Kopaka and Tahu would've killed each other.</nerd> wink )


((I never said there was anything WRONG with Gali. It just bothered me that none of the other Toa besides the water one were ever female. Though maybe I'm wrong. I don't really care about Bionicle anymore.))

If your main character has spiky hair, his coolness points automatically get increased to impossible levels! Haven't you ever wondered why practically every main character in anime or RPGs has spiky hair? Because it's AWESOME, that's why!

((Is this some sort of tradition?))

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Don't bother writing anything that has a semblance of a struggle with good and bad to it. That's so passé and last-century. This postmodern generation is all about the pointlessness of everyday life, and the only way to show it is by depicting characters that, instead of struggling with anything, just further and further succumb to drugs, alcohol, casual sex, or self-injury. Everyone loves a trainwreck, right? And if you're writing simply to depict the HUMAN CONDITION of perpetual corruption and devastation, there's no need for a real conflict!

Feel free to throw in all kinds of trauma to your story/play. It's not really illuminating and deep if your characters haven't been molested since they were five, brutally beaten up in the schoolyard , played and broken by all of their lovers, suffered massive scarring injuries in freak accidents, AND accidentally slept with their siblings. The more blood and (shallowly-written) rape, the better!

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Clare_N
i r panda cake
If you've been writing a story and you don't know where it's going, the best thing to do is to play it out as all having been a dream. Even a hollusination. Readers love this! As it catches them completely off-guard.



Yes, everybody loves it when they're reading an exciting story and the last sentence (or one of the last few sentences) is:

Quote:
And then he woke up in his own bed and realised it had all been a dream.


Or some variation on the theme. No-one ever feels cheated by this sort of ending and it saves you the trouble of having to untangle a messy plot.


[ I'd cry if someone actually did it. :'( ]

If you're writing a story about/aiming for or involving teenagers or young adults and a shock romance - they must be gay or lesbian. Or at least Bi and have slept around but, that would be a risk. Everybody knows that romances between two men or two women are alot more shocking, meaningful and tragically rejected by everyone around the lovers than ANY romance between a boy and girl, ever.
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