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Grand K
Ada Satin

She is. She is one of my closest friends. But after she became a model she started getting a personality adjustment. A little more selfish. She wanted to be. I never asked her to and told her that I didn't' want her staying long because I had stuff to finish at home. That an she had spent the night and we spent all afternoon. She said she didn't want to leave and wanted to keep watching the "scenery". She knew I was interested in him.

I expressed clear interest in him, which is why she wanted to come over and meet him. I told her I was really excited because I met a guy who, when I talked to, would find ways to relate to what I was saying: Ex// I told him I was a fashion major and he told me that was very exciting and his grandfather works as a tailor and his cousin went to fashion school. This of course being an example of a few conversations me and him had in a course of a few days. We talked about Japanese tattoos, being martial artists, the art scene downtown and what he likes to do on free times.

Provocative if we are going to the club. Very short skirts. But whenever we went out to do shopping she is a very comfortable dresser. Doesn't dress to flashy. Not very revealing. Shirt and jeans and a jacket. So this felt fairly deliberate.

Haha, yeah. I think that's where the no experience comes in for me. I sometimes get so excited I don't want to wait long if I can help it. I never been one to bed a guy right away but I can start getting antsy.


Based on that much, it sounds like he would be a nice enough guy. In an odd way, though your friend seems to have clearly done you wrong in this case, she really wound up doing you a favor by exposing another side of him that might have taken far longer for you to have witnessed on your own.

In regards to your friend... has she ever shown any signs of competitiveness with you in the past or.. I guess after she began acting selfishly as you described?

I understand. I don't feel as if I have ever been in a rush to sleep with anyone or turn things sexual, but I do enjoy the feeling of having feelings for someone, and the rush that comes with the emotions tied to that. Having breaks is one thing, learning how to find them and hit them is another matter. sweatdrop That said, it gets easier with experience. I'm more cautious now due to being burned enough times to be worried about it.


Well, she had done this a few times. When she first started her modeling career and I told her I had to be home at a certain time but she wanted me to support her at this massive modeling photo shoot. So I go, dressed up and I watched her stuff as she was getting her pictures taken. And when it was about time to go I looked for her and all she could say to me was that I should hold on and I ended up being 30 min late. Luckily the thing I had to be at was pushed back.

The second time was when I took her to comic con with me and a friend cause I had an extra ticket. I had work 50 something hours on this wonder woman costume. The armor pieces, the shoes and of course the leotard. All made from scratch.We we got to the con and people started asking me for pictures and ect. Well she got upset cause she wanted to wear her costume that she decided not to wear. So we go all the way to her house and she ends up taking an hour to put it on. So we end up missing 3 hours of the convention. And when we get there, people recognize her historic cosplay. And she started getting very cocky saying things like "People recognize me more then your character" and, "more people want to take pictures with me and not you." And just stuff like that. And it was super upsetting cause I don't cosplay for a bunch of people, I do it for myself. We ended up missing a lot of panels. Then she dragged me to a show I didn't want to go to.

Yeah, I think for me it's more of the feels and spending time with someone on intimate dates that getting caught up in any instant sexual gratification. razz Yeah, that damn stove, gotta stop getting burned by it. Oh well, life is a big lesson. Gotta learn one way or another. Makes us better people!

Generous Humorist

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Ada Satin


Well, she had done this a few times. When she first started her modeling career and I told her I had to be home at a certain time but she wanted me to support her at this massive modeling photo shoot. So I go, dressed up and I watched her stuff as she was getting her pictures taken. And when it was about time to go I looked for her and all she could say to me was that I should hold on and I ended up being 30 min late. Luckily the thing I had to be at was pushed back.

The second time was when I took her to comic con with me and a friend cause I had an extra ticket. I had work 50 something hours on this wonder woman costume. The armor pieces, the shoes and of course the leotard. All made from scratch.We we got to the con and people started asking me for pictures and ect. Well she got upset cause she wanted to wear her costume that she decided not to wear. So we go all the way to her house and she ends up taking an hour to put it on. So we end up missing 3 hours of the convention. And when we get there, people recognize her historic cosplay. And she started getting very cocky saying things like "People recognize me more then your character" and, "more people want to take pictures with me and not you." And just stuff like that. And it was super upsetting cause I don't cosplay for a bunch of people, I do it for myself. We ended up missing a lot of panels. Then she dragged me to a show I didn't want to go to.

Yeah, I think for me it's more of the feels and spending time with someone on intimate dates that getting caught up in any instant sexual gratification. razz Yeah, that damn stove, gotta stop getting burned by it. Oh well, life is a big lesson. Gotta learn one way or another. Makes us better people!


To be honest, it sounds like your friend has underwent a great deal of ... changes. It seem like you should sit down with her and have a heart to heart about where your friendship is headed, because right now, it's quite obvious that it's all about her. While she may see nothing wrong with that, it's understandable that you do.

Going back to grade school, I met this kid at work christmas party of my Dad's. We hit it off right away and were the best of friends for many years. In 9th grade however, he changed. Dramatically. Became self centered and possessive. I kept hanging on, thinking it was a phase. He had spent most every weekend at my house for so long. It was my family that threw birthday parties for him. My family that he went out with on activities. He had his own dressers in my room, we were that close. But he finally pushed me past a breaking point one day, telling me that I could not read a magazine that he wasn't reading, a smug look on his face, looking to other, newer, friends as if to say "Eh, put him in his place, didn't I?"

I told him that was it. I had been his best ally for so long, and this was all I was to him now? A stepping stone to try to look cool to others? I walked away. We never spoke again. Sometimes, people change. I have no hard feelings against him. I hope he did find stability in his life and is doing well now.

Heh.. .I've never burned myself on a stove, ironically enough. gonk

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I dont think that you can really say that it is your friends fault for him not liking you if that is the case. She isnt trying to get with him and if she is flirtatious normally there isnt much you can do with that. It also seems to just be her clothes, like she goes to a club wearing that and she still is in a realtinoship and has a kid. So it is less about trying to get a guy here and waht she wants. Just because she owns other clothes doesnt mean that she puts on the more revealing ones for a purpose. You also arent giving the guy credit. If he is interested in you, it doesnt matter if he sees boobs of your friend or anyone else..he is into you. Men arnet acutally that single minded. It seems that your dating issues are more to do with that you dont have the time to put into a relationship instead of like your friend is trying ot ruin it for you.

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legnanellaf5
I dont think that you can really say that it is your friends fault for him not liking you if that is the case. She isnt trying to get with him and if she is flirtatious normally there isnt much you can do with that. It also seems to just be her clothes, like she goes to a club wearing that and she still is in a realtinoship and has a kid. So it is less about trying to get a guy here and waht she wants. Just because she owns other clothes doesnt mean that she puts on the more revealing ones for a purpose. You also arent giving the guy credit. If he is interested in you, it doesnt matter if he sees boobs of your friend or anyone else..he is into you. Men arnet acutally that single minded. It seems that your dating issues are more to do with that you dont have the time to put into a relationship instead of like your friend is trying ot ruin it for you.


I don't think I ever once blamed her for the entirety of the thread. So stop assuming I am blaming her for my date life. She specifically said she wanted to be supportive and her actions said other wise. I think that is a legitimate reason to be upset. She is not normally flirtatious nor does she dress provocatively day to day. The specific point is that she acted and it didn't match up with her words. I barely know this one guy, I have gotten over the general rejection and feel more hurt I got used in an attempt for him to see her. I also think any good friend knows how to put on breaks.

And I am. I never said he was single minded. I already deleted his contact info. I can be upset about a guy being cowardliness. In other posts with others I clearly call out his inappropriate behavior. I can also be upset with a friend of 7 years who showed a lot let courtesy. You don't know her. She has been one of my closest friends. So this whole thing was very emotionally overwhelming to me. I can be upset that she wasn't respecting my boundaries. She wasn't respecting my requests of her. Does she have to do them? No. I don't expect her to, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with a lack of respect. And she does put the clothes on for a purpose, she has told me so. She wants to be the center of attention. It sounds like you are saying that it's okay for her to blatenly disrespect me to my face. If she normally was a flirtatious person always showing off her body I probably wouldn't have had her over.

In my Original Post I never directly blamed anyone. I merely summarized an event the way I saw it.An event that recently affected me and has shot my self esteem. But she hasn't even met half the guys I date or interact with so I am very clear she isn't holding me back in a relationship.

So what did you want me to take away from this? All you had to see was "I think you should look at the facts and realize you avoided a guy who wasn't interested in you regardless of what your friend did or did not do. If you want a healthy relationship you probably need to put more time into forming one" In which I would agree. But there is no blaming, just anger and confusion about more than a specific date incident that shook me up on levels and trying to figure out my next step from that.

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Grand K
Ada Satin


Well, she had done this a few times. When she first started her modeling career and I told her I had to be home at a certain time but she wanted me to support her at this massive modeling photo shoot. So I go, dressed up and I watched her stuff as she was getting her pictures taken. And when it was about time to go I looked for her and all she could say to me was that I should hold on and I ended up being 30 min late. Luckily the thing I had to be at was pushed back.

The second time was when I took her to comic con with me and a friend cause I had an extra ticket. I had work 50 something hours on this wonder woman costume. The armor pieces, the shoes and of course the leotard. All made from scratch.We we got to the con and people started asking me for pictures and ect. Well she got upset cause she wanted to wear her costume that she decided not to wear. So we go all the way to her house and she ends up taking an hour to put it on. So we end up missing 3 hours of the convention. And when we get there, people recognize her historic cosplay. And she started getting very cocky saying things like "People recognize me more then your character" and, "more people want to take pictures with me and not you." And just stuff like that. And it was super upsetting cause I don't cosplay for a bunch of people, I do it for myself. We ended up missing a lot of panels. Then she dragged me to a show I didn't want to go to.

Yeah, I think for me it's more of the feels and spending time with someone on intimate dates that getting caught up in any instant sexual gratification. razz Yeah, that damn stove, gotta stop getting burned by it. Oh well, life is a big lesson. Gotta learn one way or another. Makes us better people!


To be honest, it sounds like your friend has underwent a great deal of ... changes. It seem like you should sit down with her and have a heart to heart about where your friendship is headed, because right now, it's quite obvious that it's all about her. While she may see nothing wrong with that, it's understandable that you do.

Going back to grade school, I met this kid at work christmas party of my Dad's. We hit it off right away and were the best of friends for many years. In 9th grade however, he changed. Dramatically. Became self centered and possessive. I kept hanging on, thinking it was a phase. He had spent most every weekend at my house for so long. It was my family that threw birthday parties for him. My family that he went out with on activities. He had his own dressers in my room, we were that close. But he finally pushed me past a breaking point one day, telling me that I could not read a magazine that he wasn't reading, a smug look on his face, looking to other, newer, friends as if to say "Eh, put him in his place, didn't I?"

I told him that was it. I had been his best ally for so long, and this was all I was to him now? A stepping stone to try to look cool to others? I walked away. We never spoke again. Sometimes, people change. I have no hard feelings against him. I hope he did find stability in his life and is doing well now.

Heh.. .I've never burned myself on a stove, ironically enough. gonk


That sucks, it's really hard to go through a loss when it comes to close friends. You never try to contact him to see how he is doing?

I think I mostly got over this, I think I've calmed down and in the end he is missing out. Luckily I had this conversation before I said something I would regret. I think I will figure out a way to talk to my friend about her recent actions. Because I don't want to loose her, but she has scorched me a few times at this rate and it's starting to impact the relationship between us negatively.

And perhaps it's for the better. "To find a snake in the grass before stepping on it" I guess in the end he wasn't that great of a catch. But we've been friends for so long I hope I can keep it from falling apart. And maybe during the semester I will meet someone interesting who isn't interested in a friend.

My mom thinks the whole thing is plain creepy because apparently she heard a rumor about the guy he wanted to tag along on a "Date" with us (who is 40). So guy I am interested in is 25 and his best friend and person he spends the most time with (or so it sounds) is to tag along? I got a lot of bad vibes, so now that my head has cleared I feel much better about the date not happening. So she said it probably was for the best. A gift in disguise.

Enduring Phantom

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Stop inviting your slutty, c**k-blocking friend over.
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