Why does appearance override personality?

[anadentone]

Peaches McFly

That is why I am not friends with a lot of women. They're very judgmental and hurtful, more so than men in my opinion.
My boy friend is beautiful to me in every way and I don't care what other people think at all. Like why is it their damn business who I love right?

Those girls... emotion_facepalm

rock on girl 8D

those girls are the reason I'll never be into chicks, bound to be into crotchety bitches sad

[Project Light]

anadentone

Why is it when it comes to relationships people tend to seek and lust after appearances than personality? Particularly women?

I was talking to some women last week about relationships and how hard it is to find someone right. These three girls went on and on about how they would love to have found someone who was nice to them, treated them well, didn't steal from them or mistreat the kids, someone who wouldn't cheat on them, etc. Then today I heard these same three girls talk about this couple. The man was huge (about 300lbs and wasn't george clooney in appearance if youknow what i mean). He was holding hands with this blonde ,busty insanely gorgeous girl and they were acting all lovey dovey.

The girls actually said this:

girl 1: ugh look at that
girl 2: ewww he must be rich
girl 1 : why would a girl that hot be with someone thats not?
girl 3: yeah I mean look at him its like God molded sewage onto a skull
girl 2: really. I mean why would someone like her wanna be with someone like him?

me: well maybe it's because he doesn't mistreat her, or steal from her, or hurt her kids, or cheat on her, or abuse her, and maybe he's nice from her..... god no wonder you broads have relationship problems.

explain this to me: why do people value appearances over personality? Why do men and women end up with someone hot but also cheats on them or mistreats them but not hook up with someone not to hot looking but who is nice to them and faithful? Wtf?

Evolution. /thread

[Gill_Of_Octane]

Its a little something called lust. That tend to drive the relationship better than personality.

[Gill_Of_Octane]

anadentone

Peaches McFly

That is why I am not friends with a lot of women. They're very judgmental and hurtful, more so than men in my opinion.
My boy friend is beautiful to me in every way and I don't care what other people think at all. Like why is it their damn business who I love right?

Those girls... emotion_facepalm

rock on girl 8D

those girls are the reason I'll never be into chicks, bound to be into crotchety bitches sad

What, you think men do do that? You dont think men sit around drink beer and make fun of fat girls or "butterfaces" or even girls thats too easy (the sluts and whores.)

Everything womens guilty of, men are as well.

[anadentone]

Gill_Of_Octane

anadentone

Peaches McFly

That is why I am not friends with a lot of women. They're very judgmental and hurtful, more so than men in my opinion.
My boy friend is beautiful to me in every way and I don't care what other people think at all. Like why is it their damn business who I love right?

Those girls... emotion_facepalm

rock on girl 8D

those girls are the reason I'll never be into chicks, bound to be into crotchety bitches sad

What, you think men do do that? You dont think men sit around drink beer and make fun of fat girls or "butterfaces" or even girls thats too easy (the sluts and whores.)

Everything womens guilty of, men are as well.

actually I'm a guy, a gay guy. I know men talk about women ,it's all equal. I was just saying I could never be into chicks because I would prolly end up with a crotchety heiffer

[llirbwerdnadivad]

Very good question. I've asked it, myself, a lot of times, and I ave yet to receive an answer that makes sense to me...

[llirbwerdnadivad]

anadentone

Why is it when it comes to relationships people tend to seek and lust after appearances than personality? Particularly women?

I was talking to some women last week about relationships and how hard it is to find someone right. These three girls went on and on about how they would love to have found someone who was nice to them, treated them well, didn't steal from them or mistreat the kids, someone who wouldn't cheat on them, etc. Then today I heard these same three girls talk about this couple. The man was huge (about 300lbs and wasn't george clooney in appearance if youknow what i mean). He was holding hands with this blonde ,busty insanely gorgeous girl and they were acting all lovey dovey.

The girls actually said this:

girl 1: ugh look at that
girl 2: ewww he must be rich
girl 1 : why would a girl that hot be with someone thats not?
girl 3: yeah I mean look at him its like God molded sewage onto a skull
girl 2: really. I mean why would someone like her wanna be with someone like him?

me: well maybe it's because he doesn't mistreat her, or steal from her, or hurt her kids, or cheat on her, or abuse her, and maybe he's nice from her..... god no wonder you broads have relationship problems.

explain this to me: why do people value appearances over personality? Why do men and women end up with someone hot but also cheats on them or mistreats them but not hook up with someone not to hot looking but who is nice to them and faithful? Wtf?

XD How did they respond?

[yeah is dead]

Bienaimee R

anadentone

Why is it when it comes to relationships people tend to seek and lust after appearances than personality? Particularly women?

I honestly don't believe women are more critical of appearances than men are. Most people tend to judge each other on appearance. We live in an extremely plastic culture. It's just the way things are.

Appearance is important in everywhere. It's not cultural; it's human.

[Bienaimee R]

yeah is dead

Bienaimee R

anadentone

Why is it when it comes to relationships people tend to seek and lust after appearances than personality? Particularly women?

I honestly don't believe women are more critical of appearances than men are. Most people tend to judge each other on appearance. We live in an extremely plastic culture. It's just the way things are.

Appearance is important in everywhere. It's not cultural; it's human.

Not necessarily. Many cultures revere their elderly, while U.S. culture is ageist in the extreme because youthful good looks are preferred to aged looks.

Nor am I stating that judging a person's appearance is necessarily wrong. Especially if you don't know someone very well, sometimes appearances are all you have to go by.

However, that doesn't negate the reality that judgments based on appearance are often flawed and incorrect.

[Meow-Kitten]

I didn't read every page so if I say something that was covered, sorry. (Might go back and read it later)

It's pretty common for looks to be considered over personality, morality, intelligence and I could go on. For me personally, it's only occasional that I find a guy attractive at first glance (more common to see a woman attractive at first glance). I would probably think they're cute and if had the chance and brave enough, even flirt with them. That's not to say it's the only thing I'm interested in.

The only time I would discount someone based on their looks is if it truly is terrible. When I say that I mean it seems like the person hasn't had a shower in months. Or someone who obviously is old enough to be my father. Sadly, as vain as it is, the two things I struggle most of all in an average sense of appearance is facial hair and muscles. That's not to say I wouldn't give the person a chance but it takes longer to accept it.

With two of my exes that's how it worked for me, personality then looks. The first one was, well, considered 'attractive' by normal standards. Lean, tall, tanned, good facial features and nice eyes. Honestly I never found him physically attractive until I developed feelings for his personality. The other wasn't considered 'attractive' by normal standards, probably just slightly under average. His personality is what sold the deal then the looks came. Mind you it didn't work out, I still find them somewhat attractive.

I actually connected very well with a guy, before even seeing him. By that stage I was already smitten and when I did see him I considered him to be quite attractive. Though I knew if I had seen him previous to meeting him he wouldn't be my ideal. Actually he was a fair bit shorter than me which was hard. Though if he had come up to me in the street and started a conversation, I would give him a chance. (Yet another that didn't work out)

The hard thing about looks being so important is that for people who have that at the lowest or near lowest priority still would struggle. Trying to weed out the ones who are decent and don't focus on looks is hard. Then realising that some of them seem perfect but still focus on looks which may not be your looks.

[Pi_Face314]

Hrm... to be honest, appearance is a big factor because it's a big overall part of our first impression of a person. When we first meet a person, we don't know who they are. What their appearance does is give us some understanding of the kind of person that they MIGHT be. Now, granted, it could be completely and utterly wrong. The woman with the bags under her eyes might actually be a supermodel. Whatever. For the most part, though, we (or at least I) use a first appearance to gauge potential feelings and relations with a person.

A person who doesn't take care of their personal appearance may seem apathetic and sloppy. Does that seem like the kind of person one wants to be around? Probably not. What about a person wearing cheap clothing? Does that mean they're a miser, or simply have no money? Either way, you probably don't want to associate with them.

This isn't a trait limited to humans and human women. In the wild, those males with the brightest plumage or the most intimidating size tend to win the females. Why? Because these women seek protection. Comfort. Safety. A winning personality is all well and good, but if a man lacks money and means it's not hard to say he'll have a tough time finding someone interested in a relationship. It's sad, and quite unfair, but it's the harsh truth.

Appearances can be deceptive, but at a first glance they're really all we have.

[Hunny Bunny Beauty]

People judge first on appearance because of an evolutionary thing. That's no excuse to dismiss someone though. Those girls were just shallow.

[calamito]

anadentone

I overheard some shallow a*****e women, so all women are shallow assholes.

lol

[Serverus Snope]

I dunno. Appearance tends to override personality initially, but it's still possible for personality to override appearance. Some peoples' view of their partner becomes sullied if the partner ends up being a douche or otherwise incompatible. That supermodel isn't quite as attractive after kicking a puppy, is she?

[Theresacatonthewall]

Rather than judging on appearance, it's more judging on what you find attractive.
For example, you may like someone's smile, which comes from both their appearance and personality.
I think shallow judgements are made on appearance, but I guess it's because they have nothing else to go on than just what they see.
They see her as attractive and can't understand how someone that attractive (to them) can find someone that they don't see that way, as attractive.