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MelodyDrive's avatar

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I've been looking this up for quit some time now because I have the same problem. I see so many people out there in the world with this problem and it doesn't matter if they have a high or low sex drive it seems. I have a very high sex drive and yet can't feel anything during intercourse as though nothing is happening. It also seems that even being properly aroused and lubricated there is still numbness. From personal experience I can feel my fingers and yet the p***s is a different story, I can feel it go in the first time if it's hard enough but after that feel nothing at all. (during the whole thing movement and all) I also can't feel heat from it either, condom or no condom. And yet if a normal person has sex they can feel a difference between protected and unprotected sex and I can't tell the difference at all. There are so many other women out there other than me that have this very same problem. Yet if you ask a doctor about this they will say they can't do anything about it and won't even attempt to help. I also experienced this when I asked my doctor what to do about numbness to the male p***s.

It's extremely disapointing considering it's suposed to be such a loving act and even if it isn't, it should be enjoyable for both partners and not just one. It takes a toll emotionally because people who have this problem have to watch others enjoy intercourse and yet we can't even feel it. I can't help feeling like crying everytime I think about how I want to be able to enjoy something that my partner enjoys.

My question to you is "Does this happen to you and what do you do about it?"
"Do you think it's wrong that many women don't enjoy sex when their male partners usually expect it?"
"Is it a genetic defect?"

Note: I am not interested in women so I know that I'm not a lesbian. The doctors also say that I'm perfectly healthy. I have a high sex drive and natural lubrication is not a problem at all.
Yoshpet's avatar

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That sounds like some type of nerve damage. Are you able to feel your fingers in the same spots that you are numb to the p***s?

You could try experimenting with heating lubricants to see if that increases your sensitivity.
Shirabelle's avatar

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It's normal. The v****a has insufficient nerve endings for sexual stimulation and orgasm, which is considered to make the process of child birth significantly less painful. For every woman it's different, but it's very normal to not feel much or be able to get off with penetration alone. It's possible you have this a bit more than what's perceived 'normal' but I don't think it's anything to worry about. I used to feel less than I do now with my partner, now I can very closely get off to penetration alone, depending on how worked up I get or how in the mood I am. Generally if I'm not all that in the mood or interested, I won't feel anything.

I'd say keep working at it, you may find out what works for you. Try more clitoral stimulation during penetration.
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As a rule sexual failure is a neurotic symptom. The upshot of that being that it is by no necessity a permanent deficiency.
AliKat1988's avatar

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CH1Y0
As a rule sexual failure is a neurotic symptom. The upshot of that being that it is by no necessity a permanent deficiency.
In the case of this sexual problem, I would have to disagree with you. It is normal for a woman to not have much sensitivity within her v****a. Most women have only have sensation close to the opening and nothing more. I think the issue is more to do with expectations than true neuroses. The OP just needs to adjust her expectations of intercourse to be more realistic and to use alternate means of stimulation-like ribbed condoms during and clitoral stimulation before, during or after.
AliKat1988
CH1Y0
As a rule sexual failure is a neurotic symptom. The upshot of that being that it is by no necessity a permanent deficiency.
In the case of this sexual problem, I would have to disagree with you. It is normal for a woman to not have much sensitivity within her v****a. Most women have only have sensation close to the opening and nothing more. I think the issue is more to do with expectations than true neuroses. The OP just needs to adjust her expectations of intercourse to be more realistic and to use alternate means of stimulation-like ribbed condoms during and clitoral stimulation before, during or after.


I interpreted the finger-p***s comparison to indicate that the lack of sensation was specific to coitus.
AliKat1988's avatar

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CH1Y0
AliKat1988
CH1Y0
As a rule sexual failure is a neurotic symptom. The upshot of that being that it is by no necessity a permanent deficiency.
In the case of this sexual problem, I would have to disagree with you. It is normal for a woman to not have much sensitivity within her v****a. Most women have only have sensation close to the opening and nothing more. I think the issue is more to do with expectations than true neuroses. The OP just needs to adjust her expectations of intercourse to be more realistic and to use alternate means of stimulation-like ribbed condoms during and clitoral stimulation before, during or after.


I interpreted the finger-p***s comparison to indicate that the lack of sensation was specific to coitus.
I took it to be more about the expectations of what a p***s should feel like and what arousal should result in-which can actually be a little paradoxical for intercourse. She likely did not consider that she was probably less aroused when she stuck a finger in. This would mean the walls of the v****a were narrower at the time and more capable of feeling something. It also is worth noting that she can control the angle that the finger goes in and more easily find the small amount of tissue that can feel, while there is a disconnect between her boyfriend's perception and sensitivity and her own.
AliKat1988
CH1Y0
AliKat1988
CH1Y0
As a rule sexual failure is a neurotic symptom. The upshot of that being that it is by no necessity a permanent deficiency.
In the case of this sexual problem, I would have to disagree with you. It is normal for a woman to not have much sensitivity within her v****a. Most women have only have sensation close to the opening and nothing more. I think the issue is more to do with expectations than true neuroses. The OP just needs to adjust her expectations of intercourse to be more realistic and to use alternate means of stimulation-like ribbed condoms during and clitoral stimulation before, during or after.


I interpreted the finger-p***s comparison to indicate that the lack of sensation was specific to coitus.
I took it to be more about the expectations of what a p***s should feel like and what arousal should result in-which can actually be a little paradoxical for intercourse. She likely did not consider that she was probably less aroused when she stuck a finger in. This would mean the walls of the v****a were narrower at the time and more capable of feeling something. It also is worth noting that she can control the angle that the finger goes in and more easily find the small amount of tissue that can feel, while there is a disconnect between her boyfriend's perception and sensitivity and her own.


I think that's all that needs to be said, the hassle of posting in this thread considered.
MelodyDrive's avatar

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Thank you to everyone who posted, I'm glad for the honesty instead of the fake play up of what it's like.

I acctually don't have a huge expectation of intercourse. I just find it very upsetting that I seem to be numb to potential partners and not to myself. I acctually can't feel anything when I'm slightly aroused during intercourse so it's not that it's to slippery or it's too tight.
I was really upset when I was looking into this and don't know what it's like for other women except the ones that are more numb like myself.
There are only certain spots where I can feel anything with my fingers. The entrance and on the right and left sides, other than that the rest of it is nearly totally numb. Although it's completely numb with the p***s and I suppose it could be because the p***s is too soft.

I always hear about how women love it so much and I always wonder why that is because I have a friend who says she is very sensitive while having intercourse. It's stupid how the media plays it up so much like it somehow feels good all the time but it reality it doesn't.

I've only experienced being raped so that is a huge part I suppose. Learning about what I can expect when it's consensual for the first time is helping me to get over it. Sex is a terrifying thing for me now all things considering which is why I want to know how I'll emotionally react when I do it willing for the first time. I'll probably start crying alot considering what you guys have told me.

Note: I was raped 3 times last year and got a kidney infection the first time so sex is so emotionally painful that I get physical pain too.
Lesser Tile's avatar

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Numbness happens if you have sex too often and too rough. You gradually wear out the sensitivity in your p***s/v****a, until not even the roughest sex can make you feel anything. It's the reason why nature invented chastity and love.

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