Are people afraid of someone who is too "open"?

What do you fear most about someone like me?

You scare me because you have no fear or shame, that's not normal! >o<;	8.3%	[ 1 ]
I fear you will expect me to tell you secrets because you told me secrets and I don't trust you to keep mine!	8.3%	[ 1 ]
I fear you will expect me to be more trusting, respectful, forgiving and understanding then I am capable of	25.0%	[ 3 ]
I fear I'll be stuck with you if I start to like you now and we grow apart later because you're too loyal	16.7%	[ 2 ]
I fear you're fake and you want something from me other then my friendship and won't tell me what it really is...	0.0%	[ 0 ]
I fear you're just doing this because you plan to hurt me later because you're actually insane!	0.0%	[ 0 ]
I don't know, your personality just seems "creepy"	41.7%	[ 5 ]
Total Votes:			[ 12 ]

[MistressOfTheShadows]

I wonder that sometimes, because I'm a very "open" person with everyone I meet irl. I make no effort to hide my thoughts or opinions, I just say things as they pop into my head, I wear my heart on my sleeve and freely express my emotions as I feel them and to the extent I feel them, and I'm unafraid and unashamed to just be myself and show them the real me. I don't see any reason to hide my personality or anything I think and feel because I believe as long as you're not doing any thing wrong, why should you be quiet or sneaky or act like you have something to hide? Generally I'll tell my life story to anyone, and if I think someone doesn't understand me I'll explain myself as many times and ways as I need to make it make sense to them and use as many details as I can. I do this because I wanna make sure they understand me. Generally I 1st explain myself in an average straightforward way that's not too detailed or too complex, if they seem lost I'll go into more detail, if they still don't get it I try to use metaphors and similes to paint pictures with my words, then if I think that's going over their head I'll explain myself very simply like I'm talking to a young child or someone with a very low IQ. I don't know why, but most people usefully get mad at me and stomp off in a huff if they don't get it by then. I really don't get why, because I'm actually a really nice, friendly, generous, thoughtful person who loves helping people and goes out of her way to understand other peoples thoughts and feelings. I'm the kind who would always be a very true and loyal friend to the end, I'm genuine and real and not a pretender, what I show them is the real me and what they get, they they don't want to except me as a reality instead of just a poser or someone who's too good to be true!

Why do you think people fear me? Is it because I'm like a gift or a compliment in walking talking human form that they don't feel they deserve to have and hate the thought of being obligated to return that favor to by paying me the same kindness, respect, thoughtfulness, generosity, trust, openness and understanding I show them? I think some people might also recognize that I'm too easy to like once they get to know me and fear that they may have to change the opinion they formed on 1st impression or based on what someone else said and don't want to admit to themselves they were wrong... which is dumb in my opinion because often times they didn't even share that opinion with me that they are afraid to change so I couldn't judge them for it. That and I'm very forgiving, I can't help but give people as many chances as they need. I think that's another expectation they fear having put upon them. I think everyone is just scared off by do unto others as you would want done onto you because they think, if she's treating me this way she expects me to treat her this way. Truthfully, not "necessarily" it would be nice, and it's something I "hope for" but not something I expect, I learned years ago not to do that... Truthfully I'm perfectly content and satisfied with someone being my friend even if they can never repay my kindness, thoughtfulness, trust, generosity, forgiveness, understand, and respect on the same level.

[Zombi24]

Have no idea could be fear, could be jealousy or could be the fact that they want you to be stupid and miserable. Multiple reasons

I think people just fear others who express themselves openly because they are worried of you getting close to the skeletons kept hidden in the closet and the more you pull that out of them the more they really hate you... People are just really weird like that...

I understand where your coming from my partner and I are both psychic and very open people... part of my family dislike me because I talk to much about things they bottle up so im like the martyr...

I also got in trouble a lot for speaking out and questioning many things that often go unspoken about.

My partner got fired from job because of speaking mind too much many customers liked that which made the other staff members jealous and even the boss or whatever saw competition with my partner so she tried to find any reason to fire and the reason she found was my partner drawing a swastika on a justin beiber picture. LOL!

When my partner originally saw a few employees write derogatory racial names on a security member photo and was left there for a few days and yet they were not fired for it.

We live in a society built upon myriads of secrets and its like you hush up and shut up or else your going to get the wrong end of the deal. At least thats what it seems like...

9 out of 10 people have disliked me and my partner because we get into their space and pry their story right out of em by just intuitively knowing and openly talking about things.

All I can really say is be who you are and don't even let those people have the chance on bringing you down because its all BS to begin with. Its not even you, if someone hates you because your outspoken then obviously they are the ones with the problem to begin with.

[MistressOfTheShadows]

666_JFoxx_777

Have no idea could be fear, could be jealousy or could be the fact that they want you to be stupid and miserable. Multiple reasons

I think people just fear others who express themselves openly because they are worried of you getting close to the skeletons kept hidden in the closet and the more you pull that out of them the more they really hate you... People are just really weird like that...

I understand where your coming from my partner and I are both psychic and very open people... part of my family dislike me because I talk to much about things they bottle up so im like the martyr...

I also got in trouble a lot for speaking out and questioning many things that often go unspoken about.

My partner got fired from job because of speaking mind too much many customers liked that which made the other staff members jealous and even the boss or whatever saw competition with my partner so she tried to find any reason to fire and the reason she found was my partner drawing a swastika on a justin beiber picture. LOL!

When my partner originally saw a few employees write derogatory racial names on a security member photo and was left there for a few days and yet they were not fired for it.

We live in a society built upon myriads of secrets and its like you hush up and shut up or else your going to get the wrong end of the deal. At least thats what it seems like...

9 out of 10 people have disliked me and my partner because we get into their space and pry their story right out of em by just intuitively knowing and openly talking about things.

All I can really say is be who you are and don't even let those people have the chance on bringing you down because its all BS to begin with. Its not even you, if someone hates you because your outspoken then obviously they are the ones with the problem to begin with.

I think it could be jealousy, many people probably wish they could be like me and just be themselves without fear and feel comfortable in their own skin and wish they didn't care so much what people think and feel so afraid of being judged. I think (but as a homeschooler don't know 1st hand) that it may be hard for people who have to try really hard to be "cool" be "liked" or even just "fit in" to see someone who just does without even trying, because stereotypical speaking, it always ends up being the person with the laid back, unashamed, "don't even know I'm cool" attitude who ends up being seen as cool and could probably convince others that it's cool to wear a bucket on their head just by talking the talk and walking the walk with it on. It's just kind of threatening to some who tried really hard, cuz they probably think "who the hell do you think you are, having so much confidence and self-esteem and not caring about all those flaws and quirks you have when you've got more of them then I do!?! and why did you take the door off your own closet and put all your skeletons on display! Wtf do you think your doing!?!" My fiance and I have the psychic intuition thing going for us too, we can sense other peoples emotions and often predict what they're thinking. He's a little more reserved though and mostly does it with me, and his sisters and close friends and is careful not to pry to deep and only uses it in situations where it helps others or improves his ability to be understanding, I have an utter lack of control or self-restraint when it comes to my powers though and will delve deeper and deeper far beyond boundaries and without realizing I'm hurting people.. I've even reopened some old emotional wounds that hurt my fiance before because I didn't realize I was in too deep. I've also intentionally used it maliciously against my fiance's mother who thought she could intimidate & outsmart me just to really get inside her head and mess her up and I may have used it in other arguments as well. Generally when I argue with someone I try to predict what they will say in response to what I am about to say, what I should say in response to that and what they might say in response to that so I can be 3 - 5 moves ahead of them in an argument. Maybe that is a little too unnerving for some. I have a saying about myself: "Depending on how you treat me, I can be your worst nightmare or your most pleasant dream." Generally with friends I will try to heal them of emotional wounds and help them open up and get in touch with their feelings at times, but sometimes I do so too quickly and it hurts more then it has to. Any advice?

[Zombi24]

MistressOfTheShadows

Yes exactly. Jealousy is one of the biggest issues that drives people to dislike one another.. starting from high school and out into the world. People have this competing mentality because of all the BS stuff subjected to us on TV and that. Where you have to compete to be the best to win the prize or like black Friday you have to compete to get the item before its gone or even in a job you're competing to be the best sales person to get a promotion. Its all sorta... lame.




My partner is very sensitive too more sensitive than I and is way better at getting into the heads of another person. You sound exactly like my partner. Lol! I mean when I get into arguments with my partner he gets right into my head and pulls the source of problem right out and gets me weeping like a child. There are no secrets I can keep from him. I actually respect that a lot.
The most truthful honest thing in life is where people can freely talk about things without holding any barriers. Why the barriers? We are all the same people struggling with the same problems in this world and it should not be kept hidden. Like people should talk about thei feelings and that. It helps release that bad tension, it gives a better understanding of who we are and the changes we need to make if there are any and none of it should be looked at in any negative way because their doesn't have to be any negativity in being helpful and caring / understanding.

If we as people do not communicate like we should then you know... like were going to be facing more difficulties in the future of seeing who we are as a person, were isolating ourselves in the darkness and getting so wrapped up in that. That we begin to become blinded by what is right and may ultimately make all the wrong choices.

I know this because I've seen it first hand... I've been through it.

Im really sorry but there are no advice I can give you... What you are doing is who you are. You have to accept that and love yourself. There is no advice to be given your on the right path in life and although it may feel like you aren't. Do not give in to that mentality because there are people out there that are putting those thoughts into you and making you think there is something wrong with you and again it is not you. If you fall for that little spell you're giving them exactly what they want. Keep your light burning strong.

If people fear you or dislike you then they are the ones that need to figure themselves out and just respectably let them go. If they are meant to be a friend in time they will come back into your life or they will accept you for your whole entirety.

It can be depressing, but you must calm yourself. Meditate and think only positive thoughts for yourself and others even if it is hard to think positive about others sometimes. You must keep hoping for the best and focusing on the goodness of people... I honestly have a hard time with that myself but I realize if I wish hate onto those who've done me wrong then I am only creating that negativity in my own life and I will continue to see disgust in every human being I encounter and that's not the right path to go.

We have to keep hope in our hearts that these few bad apples that we encounter will fix themselves in time. Wish them the best and never look back upon it. They may appear back to us if the universe decides or we may never see them again. Life will set them straight.

This Universe works in mysterious funny ways.

Just continue to be as you are. You do not need to change anything its those around you that need to be doing the changing.

Best of luck in this wild journey to the stars.

[MistressOfTheShadows]

666_JFoxx_777

MistressOfTheShadows

Yes exactly. Jealousy is one of the biggest issues that drives people to dislike one another.. starting from high school and out into the world. People have this competing mentality because of all the BS stuff subjected to us on TV and that. Where you have to compete to be the best to win the prize or like black Friday you have to compete to get the item before its gone or even in a job you're competing to be the best sales person to get a promotion. Its all sorta... lame.




My partner is very sensitive too more sensitive than I and is way better at getting into the heads of another person. You sound exactly like my partner. Lol! I mean when I get into arguments with my partner he gets right into my head and pulls the source of problem right out and gets me weeping like a child. There are no secrets I can keep from him. I actually respect that a lot.
The most truthful honest thing in life is where people can freely talk about things without holding any barriers. Why the barriers? We are all the same people struggling with the same problems in this world and it should not be kept hidden. Like people should talk about thei feelings and that. It helps release that bad tension, it gives a better understanding of who we are and the changes we need to make if there are any and none of it should be looked at in any negative way because their doesn't have to be any negativity in being helpful and caring / understanding.

If we as people do not communicate like we should then you know... like were going to be facing more difficulties in the future of seeing who we are as a person, were isolating ourselves in the darkness and getting so wrapped up in that. That we begin to become blinded by what is right and may ultimately make all the wrong choices.

I know this because I've seen it first hand... I've been through it.

Im really sorry but there are no advice I can give you... What you are doing is who you are. You have to accept that and love yourself. There is no advice to be given your on the right path in life and although it may feel like you aren't. Do not give in to that mentality because there are people out there that are putting those thoughts into you and making you think there is something wrong with you and again it is not you. If you fall for that little spell you're giving them exactly what they want. Keep your light burning strong.

If people fear you or dislike you then they are the ones that need to figure themselves out and just respectably let them go. If they are meant to be a friend in time they will come back into your life or they will accept you for your whole entirety.

It can be depressing, but you must calm yourself. Meditate and think only positive thoughts for yourself and others even if it is hard to think positive about others sometimes. You must keep hoping for the best and focusing on the goodness of people... I honestly have a hard time with that myself but I realize if I wish hate onto those who've done me wrong then I am only creating that negativity in my own life and I will continue to see disgust in every human being I encounter and that's not the right path to go.

We have to keep hope in our hearts that these few bad apples that we encounter will fix themselves in time. Wish them the best and never look back upon it. They may appear back to us if the universe decides or we may never see them again. Life will set them straight.

This Universe works in mysterious funny ways.

Just continue to be as you are. You do not need to change anything its those around you that need to be doing the changing.

Best of luck in this wild journey to the stars.

Thank you, it's not easy, but I keep trying. I think people who hate and judge and feel so much need to fear and distrust should be pitied if anything and maybe sometimes comforted and reassured that they have a friend in you they can trust and that it's okay to tell you things because you mean no harm. Sometimes they need to be reminded that what they're ashamed of or embarrassed by is a normal part of human life that everyone else in the world is going through or has been through and that everyone either already knows or suspects already and doesn't even care about because it's not even a big deal.

[MistressOfTheShadows]

I think another reason some people are scared of a person who's life is an open book, is because they don't know how to intimidate them...

Example:

Person: twisted
If you don't do as I say I'll tell everyone [insert embarrassing thing they know about me here]!

Me: emotion_awesome
Don't bother I'll tell them all 1st! HEY LISTEN UP EVERYONE I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF!!!

Person: emotion_jawdrop
Whaat!?! Wait.. No! Don't do that! I won't!!! I'll just let it go! sweatdrop

Everyone: emotion_eyebrow

Me: Nevermind! emotion_awesome

Everyone: whatever... rolleyes

Person: (thinking: What kind of freak are you?!) emotion_0A0

It's sort of like if you were trying to stab someone with a knife and they said "your holding it wrong, let me do it!" and then stabbed themself in the shoulder and laughed. lol

[Rise of Hesperos]

MistressOfTheShadows

Generally I 1st explain myself in an average straightforward way that's not too detailed or too complex, if they seem lost I'll go into more detail, if they still don't get it I try to use metaphors and similes to paint pictures with my words, then if I think that's going over their head I'll explain myself very simply like I'm talking to a young child or someone with a very low IQ. I don't know why, but most people usefully get mad at me and stomp off in a huff if they don't get it by then.

Uh, maybe they get mad because you're talking to them in such a condescending manner.

[MistressOfTheShadows]

Rise of Hesperos

MistressOfTheShadows

Generally I 1st explain myself in an average straightforward way that's not too detailed or too complex, if they seem lost I'll go into more detail, if they still don't get it I try to use metaphors and similes to paint pictures with my words, then if I think that's going over their head I'll explain myself very simply like I'm talking to a young child or someone with a very low IQ. I don't know why, but most people usefully get mad at me and stomp off in a huff if they don't get it by then.

Uh, maybe they get mad because you're talking to them in such a condescending manner.

Well, I only get condescending when they insist on playing dumb and pretending not to understand me.

[Zombi24]

MistressOfTheShadows

I think another reason some people are scared of a person who's life is an open book, is because they don't know how to intimidate them...

Example:

Person: twisted
If you don't do as I say I'll tell everyone [insert embarrassing thing they know about me here]!

Me: emotion_awesome
Don't bother I'll tell them all 1st! HEY LISTEN UP EVERYONE I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF!!!

Person: emotion_jawdrop
Whaat!?! Wait.. No! Don't do that! I won't!!! I'll just let it go! sweatdrop

Everyone: emotion_eyebrow

Me: Nevermind! emotion_awesome

Everyone: whatever... rolleyes

Person: (thinking: What kind of freak are you?!) emotion_0A0

It's sort of like if you were trying to stab someone with a knife and they said "your holding it wrong, let me do it!" and then stabbed themself in the shoulder and laughed. lol

Lol, because they have no control and realizing they have no power of influence/control makes them feel powerless and a fool when they are brought up on competing for that power to begin with.
Not my kind of life. I have all the power in the world in my heart/mind and soul and I don't need to compete for something I already have to begin with... which is Love/Light/Positivity.

[Rise of Hesperos]

MistressOfTheShadows

Well, I only get condescending when they insist on playing dumb and pretending not to understand me.

Why do you assume that they are pretending? Maybe you can't communicate a point in layman terms.

[MistressOfTheShadows]

Rise of Hesperos

MistressOfTheShadows

Well, I only get condescending when they insist on playing dumb and pretending not to understand me.

Why do you assume that they are pretending? Maybe you can't communicate a point in layman terms.

You may be right I might just be too smart for my own good.. though sometimes it seems like I got it down simple enough and they can't possibly be that let dumb.

[luhft]

I don't know it's necessarily fear that's putting people off. It sounds like you are describing how people react to you talking about yourself, and that they could be seeing you as self-involved and acting superior. Does anybody want to be around that?

With someone being "open" in the sense of sharing a lot, that can also turn people off, especially if you are giving your opinions and life story without being solicited. They may feel like, I didn't ask, I don't care, why are you telling me all this?

[MistressOfTheShadows]

luhft

I don't know it's necessarily fear that's putting people off. It sounds like you are describing how people react to you talking about yourself, and that they could be seeing you as self-involved and acting superior. Does anybody want to be around that?

With someone being "open" in the sense of sharing a lot, that can also turn people off, especially if you are giving your opinions and life story without being solicited. They may feel like, I didn't ask, I don't care, why are you telling me all this?

Well mostly I just want people to know and understand me and why they should like me. I kind of "market myself" like a product. Like: Excuse me, are you in the market for a new best friend? I'm here to tell you all about me and the many user-friendly features I offer that make me a smart and sensible choice for anyone. Would you care for a free trial-demonstration of what it might be like having me for a friend and an easy step-by-step walk-through that explains how I operate?

Or an argument like a political ad: [insert name] claims that I'm disrespectful of my elders, but does she know that I grew up in a senior citizen community where I was best friends with people old enough to be my grandparents? No! [insert name] doesn't have a clue. [insert name] wants you to think that she was just minding her business when I started being rude, but what [insert name] doesn't want you to know is that she started being disrespectful 1st with mudslinging and a condescending attitude. Side with me, because I respect elders who respect me back, and support our civil right to verbal self-defense!

[this rainbow lover]

You honestly sound sort of arrogant to me. Like, "Look how awesome and perfect and amazing of a person I am!"

I personally hate when people over share too quickly. I don't need to know someone's life story to get their point. I have a friend who over shares all of the time and feels the need to talk constantly, and it's frustrating. If I wanted to know, I would ask.

[Keisu]

Since the topic of this discussion is about openness, I will endeavor to be as open and hide as little as possible in my response.

No, people are not afraid of people who are open and honest. People do get annoyed with arrogant know-it-alls, though, and your behavior displays that in spades. Additionally, your content-to-words ratio is obnoxiously low; this means you are very boring to converse with. Finally, for professing to be an extremely open person, your attitude and behavior are at odds with this stance.

Lets start with content-to-words. With the amount of work, study, and entertainment that exists to be done, time is a premium. You apparently have a lot of difficulty getting to your point, evidenced by your opening post where you seem to spend around three to four times more words expressing your opinion than is necessary. You make the assumption that people have time to waste unraveling your needlessly long diatribes and want to listen to your self-indulgence. They don't. People will start to listen to see if you are saying anything they have interest in, but when it's apparent your words have no substance, they will shut you out. No one cares how special you think you are.

I'll merge attitude and your professed openness here. Despite your statements that you are, "a gift or a compliment in walking talking human form," you sound very keen to convince us, as if you want us to convince you of this in turn. You state this despite us having no basis or interest in reassuring you of your supposed supremacy. You continue to tell us how great you are, but people tend towards the popular saying of, "Show, don't tell." All you have shown me is that you have a very high opinion of yourself and that you are very needy of others to share this opinion of you, which suggests low self-esteem to me. Your attempts to impress these attitudes on others such as ourselves through words instead of actions result in us seeing you not as an, "open," individual, but as an individual desperate for attention.

Remedial actions I recommend are as follows:

-Get to the point.
-Think about what you say before you say it.
-Show, don't tell.
-Love yourself for who you are vice seeking approval from others to be who you are.
-Why should anyone care about what you say? Conduct yourself keeping that in mind.
-You are not special. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can appreciate yourself for being who you are, instead of trying to convince everyone you are some divine gift to mankind; an attitude that others will be happy enough to shoot you down for.
-Just because they 'don't get it' does not mean they don't understand; it means they stopped caring and are only now listening out of social politeness. Be understanding enough to realize this and to change the subject. Your attempts to belittle them because you think they don't get your greatness only convince them that you are noise pollution to be avoided. If you change the subject to something they would be more interested in, you may be able to win their attention over once more.

Thank you for your time.