A dad, a student, a teacher, a sad situation

[DEFG7890]

My father was and is a b*****d.. He hurts my feelings and he would say "You're stupid, Why the hell can't you be more like your cousin, she's smarter and prettier then you!!!" "You don't have to be part of this family, you think your so good being that your CATHOLIC!!! Go to hell!" As so in 6th grade I became attached to this one male teacher. He would always say that I was smart and that I could do anything. Then when I was in 8th grade someone started a rumor that me and him had sex! We would never do something like that!!! So the school then said in order to not make to rumor continue I shouldn't see him as offen. I still cry over it and it's been a year since then. I miss him so much. He allowed me his phone number so ever now and then I talk to him, but he's hardly ever home. But I love him , I wish he actually was my father. And the rumors still follow me today. I still can't visit him. I just wish that I could see him. I now go to a different high school so no one can hurt my feelings about it... The day after I graduated, we hugged... It made me cry, I felt as though I really was loved by him. I never had a hug like that with my father. I so miss that teacher. And now I'm moving so now I won't even have those rare times when I would get to see him. I don't know, was it alright for the way I felt, if anything what can I do? He knows I feel this way. He's such a caring man. And we always use to talk about my dad. I.e. Dyfs knows about my situation and I live with my mom.

[xolanni]

I think it would be great if you said all this to a therapist honey.

Seems to me like you look for fatherly attention in other men.

[hairclips]

xolanni, Thats just plain stupid. It's called a good friend. Who actually understands you. I think you should contact him now and then But realize that he isn't really your father, and that you have to move on.

[Jools]

wow you loved him as a friend and as an older man taking on a father type role too.....which makes it more difficult.
Losing a friend is hard especially when it is not either of you who wants to be separated, but losing a father figure at the same time must be tough.

Maybe what you need to do is discuss this with someone who has the ability to get you in contact with some older males, maybe go to a counseller who could enrol you into a support group, where you could talk through any problems or questions you have. Kinda like a friendship group but more an extended family.

It may help you let go. But I think on here, you may not get the advice you really want to hear as we are not qualified to help you overcome your upset and pain.

[daredevil 666]

I think you should definitely keep in contact somehow (email, phone) with him if he feels like a big role model/father figure for you.

You should also talk to a counsellor about it because I bet they can offer you better advice than us.

Good luck, I hope things work out for you! *hugs*

[pinkgirl66]

no ofense but your dad sounds liek an idiot..
look you can't just follow teh dumb rumors you got to learn to avoid them ..no one knows the thruth exept you..but you knwo if he acts more liek a father to you then your own dad then the rumors shouldn't even matter..it's what's inside of you that cpounts..if you knwo what I mean

[Nikeah]

wow. Same exact thing happened to me. Dad did this, fall for an older guy. Yep. Well, except the whole thing about rumors going on. I know how you feel. My dad was never around and when he was, he was berating me for not being like my cousin, who was top of her class valedictorian.

[SamiLMS1]

I know how you feel, in 8th grade I had a teacher who became like a mom to me. There were rumors about us too but they never got series and her and I still see each other frequently. Her and I keep in touch through email a lot when I cant call/see her, have you tried that? And believe me, once you arent their student anymore its a lot easier to see them and they open up a lot more bc they arent afraid of such rumors, we hang out outside of school at the movies or mall and such.

Just remember if worst comes to worst when you are 18 you can see him all you want.

[disturber]

your dad is an a**..........call child services.........they can do more than we can.but i dont know u.never seen u.u r pretty.u r smart.dont let them bring u down.

[Cruci]

xolanni

I think it would be great if you said all this to a therapist honey.

Seems to me like you look for fatherly attention in other men.

I think xolanni has a point. *blinks* I can't for the life of me recall if this had a name as some sort of disorder/syndrome, but there's also the male counterpart where a male has almost irrational needs for a maternal figure. neutral

I think.

[ForgottenLover]

My own parents do that to me. I always look up to my teachers as mothers or fathers. No one really started rumors about me and some of the teachers because they all know I look at them as parental figure. You should keep in contact with that teacher because you two seem to be close and you don't want to lose a good friend like that. Especially someone like a father figure to you.

[Bondage Zombie]

Surrogate father while the father is still alive.

Interesting.

Xolanni is right.

[Soldat Mort]

stressed scream sweatdrop

[Angel of the dark rose]

He is a FRIEND. A close friend, granted, but still a friend. It sounds to me like you adopted him as a father figure, and left your so called "b*****d of a father" in the past. Here is a thought: Kick your fathers a**, Kick whoevers a** that started the rumor, and then get over it. Or, if your what my former therapist called a "Nonviolent person", then just get over it.

[LonesomeWolf]

xolanni

I think it would be great if you said all this to a therapist honey.

Seems to me like you look for fatherly attention in other men.

and what do u look for in other men a sex partner for the fun of it stare . Well i think thats its normal to love someone else just like they were ur father. mother, or sibling. But if its somebody thats older and especially of the other gender ur going to be seperated one day. You have to just deal with and try to remember the good times without crying ur a** off about it.