does dressing in lolita ever make you feel insecure?

[casnip]

i know this seems like a silly question, because of course i feel prettiest in lolita! i hope that all of you lolitas feel outstanding and pretty in lolita. so maybe it's just me, but i'm actually very scared to wear it around my friends, or to church, and i'm even scared that guys won't find me attractive/take my personality seriously if they see me in lolita. i don't know if it's just me or not. i'm just a little scared that the people i like to be around won't want to be around me anymore if they see me in lolita! i haven't had the guts to wear it around them yet, other than just a few friends who were interested in becoming lolitas themselves. what about you? have you ever felt this way, or am i just being silly? if you have felt like this before, what did you do about it?

[Toxilicks]

Firstly, I don't think anyone you know will immediately disassociate themselves from you if you dress in Lolita, however, depending on the style, it might raise a few brows because Lolita is a niche fashion. It kind of depends on what and where you wear your dress. If your family isn't sure on Lolita and are particularly religious, I have a feeling they might object to you wearing it to Church.

But honestly, I think worrying how people will react to your choice of clothing is a little "meh", because it's your choice, and no one can actually stop you from doing it. Personally, I like to wear my Lolita-ish stuff on rare occasions so they don't get too dirty.

[Princess JessieKate]

You won't have trouble finding a boyfriend just because you wear Lolita fashion, and anyways if a guy can't accept you dressing in a way that makes you feel happy, he's not worth having around. I started dating my boyfriend when I was already a Lolita and we've been together for 5 1/2 years, and I've still had problems with other guys who knew I was a Lolita hitting on me when I'm not interested.

Your friends probably won't have a problem with it. If their knee-jerk reaction is to be embarrassed, try toning down your outfits when you go out with them, and if they won't accept that, you don't need them. It might sound harsh, but they can't care about you that much if they're too embarrassed to be seen with you.

[Ethel Sanguis]

Luckily both my family and my friends know I'm into lolita and am inclined to wear it on special occasions. They're okay with that, which is very nice smile
The only time I feel insecure is when I walk through my neighbourhood, because I don't exactly feel safe (>_< ). If I just have to do groceries I wear a t-shirt and jeans so as not to attract attention and when I wear lolita I make sure I'm either on my bike (I feel much safer when I can get away quickly) or not walking on my own.
Other than that I mostly feel empowered, because when wearing lolita I can show off that I wear what I like and don't care about other peoples opinions 3nodding In the end its your body and your choice of clothes; if you're able to pay for it and feel comfortable wearing lolita than that is all that matters smile

[kinu_and_rina]

I think a lot of lolitas feel the same way to.
I personally wear Lolita so much that everyone who knows me is aware of it. I also am in a relationship and have had ones in the past where people loved me in lolita. My frist lolita iteam was bought by my now ex-bf. It never crossed my mind that guys would find it weird till I got into more classic and sweet peacess.
I however have about three friends how hate the fashion. Nurmally they are super sweet and kind hearted however once when I wear it around them they kept making for of it. So, some people won't like it and some well. Most people get over it.
I think you just need to find safty in numbers. I have five or so friend we also wear lolita in their daily lives.

[The Nekomimi]

Sometimes, I do feel insecure and unsafe in Lolita. Where I live, people will just call you out if they see you wearing anything flashy or out there (I've worn just a regular dress and walked to the store real quick before I went to a friend's birthday party, and people kept honking at me and yelling at me on the street. I ignored them, but the experience was still rather uncomfortable.). So I imagine if I wore Lolita, it'd be a lot worse.

If I'm with another friend then I feel a lot more confident.

[Bunny-Lolita-Chan]

Actually I feel the opposite, I keep thinking AW YEAH IM THE SHIZNIT. emotion_dowant

Buuuuuut it does helps that I've been wearing it in public for a while too. n - n;

[Valiska Pines]

Bunny-Lolita-Chan

Actually I feel the opposite, I keep thinking AW YEAH IM THE SHIZNIT. emotion_dowant

Buuuuuut it does helps that I've been wearing it in public for a while too. n - n;

I feel the same way, but tbh I do run into assholes around the train station and I just accept that they are ignorant and pathetic. I don't feel unsafe, but I have developed a thick skin. I live in San Francisco and even there some people are jerkasses.

My friends love it. I have always been really girly though--I think it's harder for people who are making a bigger change. My mother hates it just like everything else I wear, but I don't live near her for many far more serious reasons. She wears clothes I wouldn't be caught dead in.

[AutismArtsy]

Im a little on the big side to fit in lolita clothes. ): But I do wear the big bows and other accessories !

[casnip]

AradiaWindbourne

Bunny-Lolita-Chan

Actually I feel the opposite, I keep thinking AW YEAH IM THE SHIZNIT. emotion_dowant

Buuuuuut it does helps that I've been wearing it in public for a while too. n - n;

I feel the same way, but tbh I do run into assholes around the train station and I just accept that they are ignorant and pathetic. I don't feel unsafe, but I have developed a thick skin. I live in San Francisco and even there some people are jerkasses.

My friends love it. I have always been really girly though--I think it's harder for people who are making a bigger change. My mother hates it just like everything else I wear, but I don't live near her for many far more serious reasons. She wears clothes I wouldn't be caught dead in.

ahhhh, you're living the dream. being a lolita in san francisco must be sooo nice ugh.

[casnip]

kinu_and_rina

I think a lot of lolitas feel the same way to.
I personally wear Lolita so much that everyone who knows me is aware of it. I also am in a relationship and have had ones in the past where people loved me in lolita. My frist lolita iteam was bought by my now ex-bf. It never crossed my mind that guys would find it weird till I got into more classic and sweet peacess.
I however have about three friends how hate the fashion. Nurmally they are super sweet and kind hearted however once when I wear it around them they kept making for of it. So, some people won't like it and some well. Most people get over it.
I think you just need to find safty in numbers. I have five or so friend we also wear lolita in their daily lives.

wow. you have a lot of lolita friends! that must be really nice, i don't have any lolita friends irl. in fact, i don't even know of any aside from the LA comm, which i'm not a part of.

[Evil Goth Bunny]

Most of the time, lolita makes me feel less insecure than other clothes. I feel prettiest in lolita too!

However, it sometimes doesn't work if I am surrounded by other, perfect lolitas that I don't really know. I tend to start worrying and comparing myself to them a little bit too much. Recently I went to a large meetup, and I was happy with my outfit, but once I got there, I didn't particularly like it any more because everyone else's outfits were so perfect. It's stupid, because I know everyone is so busy having fun that no-one is going to care if what I'm wearing isn't completely perfect.

The good news is, most of the meet ups I go to are just the local ones with my comm. I don't feel insecure at those meets, because I know that even if I wore the most hideous outfit in the world, they wouldn't be mean about it smile

[mboarder]

I generally feel very self conscious. However as of recently I realised that its just an alternative fashion. People wear goth, punk, whatever on a daily basis, and I decided that theres not really much of a difference. I dont like jeans and pants very much anyway, they never fit me right. So I decided to start slowly transitioning my clothes towards lolita and otome. It is kind of working since its coming into summer here, which means I can wear skirts and dresses without my legs getting cold! And next winter I will make a few pairs of flannel bloomers so my legs won't get as cold either.

[casnip]

Evil Goth Bunny

Most of the time, lolita makes me feel less insecure than other clothes. I feel prettiest in lolita too!

However, it sometimes doesn't work if I am surrounded by other, perfect lolitas that I don't really know. I tend to start worrying and comparing myself to them a little bit too much. Recently I went to a large meetup, and I was happy with my outfit, but once I got there, I didn't particularly like it any more because everyone else's outfits were so perfect. It's stupid, because I know everyone is so busy having fun that no-one is going to care if what I'm wearing isn't completely perfect.

The good news is, most of the meet ups I go to are just the local ones with my comm. I don't feel insecure at those meets, because I know that even if I wore the most hideous outfit in the world, they wouldn't be mean about it smile

i get what you're saying. i get like that too, sometimes even if it's just normal clothes! i bet everyone loves your outfits, and i'm so glad that you feel prettiest in lolita blaugh

[you-aholic]

I feel you even though I live in an area that's very alternative-fashion friendly. I have trouble wearing even more casual coordinates out unless I'm wearing them to a meet.

Luckily, I've gotten a great comm and some great friends so I'm glad to have their support. My family doesn't really like lolita and will make a lot of snide comments but they've never stopped me from wearing it.