Who needs friends, right?

[xWitchHazel]

So, I really want some honest advice on this please...

My "friend" of ten years pulled aside another friend of mine stating that she didn't like my tattoo and thought it was silly that I would get a tattoo for a child I miscarried.. She then stated its even more stupid that I had named my baby Raven without ever having the gender confirmed.

Obviously the other friend called me immediately to warn me that maybe I shouldn't associate with this other friend.

What do I do? I confront the friend that said this about me. Her only response was that 10 weeks isn't a baby, my baby isn't as important as her child she's about to have because she has REAL responsibilities and that my baby was a clump of cells, let alone having the gender confirmed. She then stated it would be fine if it happened later on but my baby wasn't a REAL baby and to get over it... She then said it was her opinion and I shouldn't be mad about her opinion...

I really don't know how to handle this.. this miscarriage is VERY recent and I'm still grieving. I loved my baby as much as any mommy and would do anything to of had the chance to have those real responsibilities but couldn't help that I don't...

[Silly Annie]

maybe you dont have to handle it
like hear me out

my nurse has told me like a hundred times the most important thing when you get emotional is to keep calm
figure out a way to calm yourself so you can stop an think

now I aint gonna say this friend aint sayin shitty stuff
she is

but at the same time sayin s**t like this dont make her a BAD friend
shes jus bein shitty right now
has she ever had a baby before? she might be scared right
havin your first baby can get scary I been told an I beleive it

so maybe right now aint the best time to like hash out how shes bein shitty over a miscarried baby an names an tattoos
maybe nows the time to stay calm an figure out what makes her your friend instead of what shes bein shitty bout

who knows
maybe after some time shes gonna realize an come to her senses

[xChibi Cannibalx]

Im so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what losing a child, at any stage, might feel. I hope as time goes on you begin to feel better emotion_hug

You really do need to drop the friend who said that to you though. Your feelings are valid and very understandable. You were expecting a baby and was excited about it. She has no right to dismiss your feelings on what happened to you. A good friend would support you and help you feel better, even if they didnt like the tattoo or that you named the baby. A good friend wouldve kept those negative opinions to themself

[Oh Horatio]

While your friends are completely right about the tattoo, they're being pretty damn insensitive. I'm surprised your friend who is experiencing pregnancy could say such a thing.

A miscarriage doesn't mean your baby was anything less. It's understandable for you to grieve over it. It's good that you confronted your friend, but you need to have another talk with her. Tell her how much the baby meant to you, and that for YOU it is a big deal and that as her friend, she should understand and respect that. She's also pregnant so she might be having her own issues and stresses right now which could lead her to being a little insensitive.

Communication is the best policy. If it doesn't go well, maybe you should re-evaluate your friendship.

[xWitchHazel]

Silly Annie

maybe you dont have to handle it
like hear me out

my nurse has told me like a hundred times the most important thing when you get emotional is to keep calm
figure out a way to calm yourself so you can stop an think

now I aint gonna say this friend aint sayin shitty stuff
she is

but at the same time sayin s**t like this dont make her a BAD friend
shes jus bein shitty right now
has she ever had a baby before? she might be scared right
havin your first baby can get scary I been told an I beleive it

so maybe right now aint the best time to like hash out how shes bein shitty over a miscarried baby an names an tattoos
maybe nows the time to stay calm an figure out what makes her your friend instead of what shes bein shitty bout

who knows
maybe after some time shes gonna realize an come to her senses

Its hard because as is, she knows I've had depression for years. I don't cope well and have suicidal ideations and I got this tattoo so instead of grieving ,I could put on something colourful for her to celebrate her life if even short.

I know having a baby can be scary but it doesn't give anyone the pass to talk so insensitively. I've put away my views on her relationship and her planned yet unplanned child and how her situation is s**t but I NEVER told her (till tonight obviously).

Even if one is hormonal, they are responsible for their words and actions, even I know that and I'm a ******** nut case.

Granted, my boyfriend and I are having cap'n Morgan tonight and mac 'n cheese , so that will help keep me mildly calm

[Silly Annie]

xJessicaJynx

Silly Annie

maybe you dont have to handle it
like hear me out

my nurse has told me like a hundred times the most important thing when you get emotional is to keep calm
figure out a way to calm yourself so you can stop an think

now I aint gonna say this friend aint sayin shitty stuff
she is

but at the same time sayin s**t like this dont make her a BAD friend
shes jus bein shitty right now
has she ever had a baby before? she might be scared right
havin your first baby can get scary I been told an I beleive it

so maybe right now aint the best time to like hash out how shes bein shitty over a miscarried baby an names an tattoos
maybe nows the time to stay calm an figure out what makes her your friend instead of what shes bein shitty bout

who knows
maybe after some time shes gonna realize an come to her senses

Its hard because as is, she knows I've had depression for years. I don't cope well and have suicidal ideations and I got this tattoo so instead of grieving ,I could put on something colourful for her to celebrate her life if even short.

I know having a baby can be scary but it doesn't give anyone the pass to talk so insensitively. I've put away my views on her relationship and her planned yet unplanned child and how her situation is s**t but I NEVER told her (till tonight obviously).

Even if one is hormonal, they are responsible for their words and actions, even I know that and I'm a ******** nut case.

Granted, my boyfriend and I are having cap'n Morgan tonight and mac 'n cheese , so that will help keep me mildly calm

no it aint a free pass
but yknow it aint always a bad idea to give someone a pass when they dont deserve one
some folks come round if you jus treat em bettern they deserve

its a risk but WHEN it pays out it pays big

[xWitchHazel]

Chronic Aqib Syndrome

While your friends are completely right about the tattoo, they're being pretty damn insensitive. I'm surprised your friend who is experiencing pregnancy could say such a thing.

A miscarriage doesn't mean your baby was anything less. It's understandable for you to grieve over it. It's good that you confronted your friend, but you need to have another talk with her. Tell her how much the baby meant to you, and that for YOU it is a big deal and that as her friend, she should understand and respect that. She's also pregnant so she might be having her own issues and stresses right now which could lead her to being a little insensitive.

Communication is the best policy. If it doesn't go well, maybe you should re-evaluate your friendship.

The tattoo for me was a way of trying to celebrate her life if even a short one inside of me instead of going into catastrophic depression. I talked to her every day since it happened and I had the surgery about how much I love my Raven and how I wish I could have her and hold her and of raised her and that it kills me knowing that I lost her... She knows and that's why I'm angry about it. Its one thing to think my tattoo was a silly idea but its another for her to of gone so over the line that way.
I know she is dealing with things and she is dealing with her situations way worse than just me getting a tattoo but I never cross that line of going to tell her she's wrong or I don't like what she's doing. I just tell her I know that she will support her child and will be a good mom when the time comes because that is what real friends do for each other.

I think that my friendship with her isn't going to last.

[xWitchHazel]

Silly Annie

xJessicaJynx

Silly Annie

maybe you dont have to handle it
like hear me out

my nurse has told me like a hundred times the most important thing when you get emotional is to keep calm
figure out a way to calm yourself so you can stop an think

now I aint gonna say this friend aint sayin shitty stuff
she is

but at the same time sayin s**t like this dont make her a BAD friend
shes jus bein shitty right now
has she ever had a baby before? she might be scared right
havin your first baby can get scary I been told an I beleive it

so maybe right now aint the best time to like hash out how shes bein shitty over a miscarried baby an names an tattoos
maybe nows the time to stay calm an figure out what makes her your friend instead of what shes bein shitty bout

who knows
maybe after some time shes gonna realize an come to her senses

Its hard because as is, she knows I've had depression for years. I don't cope well and have suicidal ideations and I got this tattoo so instead of grieving ,I could put on something colourful for her to celebrate her life if even short.

I know having a baby can be scary but it doesn't give anyone the pass to talk so insensitively. I've put away my views on her relationship and her planned yet unplanned child and how her situation is s**t but I NEVER told her (till tonight obviously).

Even if one is hormonal, they are responsible for their words and actions, even I know that and I'm a ******** nut case.

Granted, my boyfriend and I are having cap'n Morgan tonight and mac 'n cheese , so that will help keep me mildly calm

no it aint a free pass
but yknow it aint always a bad idea to give someone a pass when they dont deserve one
some folks come round if you jus treat em bettern they deserve

its a risk but WHEN it pays out it pays big

Well, surprisingly, I've stifled the anger when I talked to her and explained that I'm upset and hurt but didn't swear or tell her I plan to hurt her or anything that I wish I could do. I hope it will pay off but sadly, this is how she is as a person. I should have realized that being out of high school would not change that

[Luna Legend]

Your "friend" sounds like an absolute a*****e. Why the hell does she care how long you choose to mourn for your lost baby? It's none of her damn business. People grieve in different ways, and miscarriages affect some people far more intensely than they affect others. There's nothing wrong with that. You have every right to deal with your loss however you want, and if she can't keep her bitchy mouth shut, I think maybe it's time to sever this "friendship".

[Silly Annie]

xJessicaJynx

Silly Annie

xJessicaJynx

Silly Annie

maybe you dont have to handle it
like hear me out

my nurse has told me like a hundred times the most important thing when you get emotional is to keep calm
figure out a way to calm yourself so you can stop an think

now I aint gonna say this friend aint sayin shitty stuff
she is

but at the same time sayin s**t like this dont make her a BAD friend
shes jus bein shitty right now
has she ever had a baby before? she might be scared right
havin your first baby can get scary I been told an I beleive it

so maybe right now aint the best time to like hash out how shes bein shitty over a miscarried baby an names an tattoos
maybe nows the time to stay calm an figure out what makes her your friend instead of what shes bein shitty bout

who knows
maybe after some time shes gonna realize an come to her senses

Its hard because as is, she knows I've had depression for years. I don't cope well and have suicidal ideations and I got this tattoo so instead of grieving ,I could put on something colourful for her to celebrate her life if even short.

I know having a baby can be scary but it doesn't give anyone the pass to talk so insensitively. I've put away my views on her relationship and her planned yet unplanned child and how her situation is s**t but I NEVER told her (till tonight obviously).

Even if one is hormonal, they are responsible for their words and actions, even I know that and I'm a ******** nut case.

Granted, my boyfriend and I are having cap'n Morgan tonight and mac 'n cheese , so that will help keep me mildly calm

no it aint a free pass
but yknow it aint always a bad idea to give someone a pass when they dont deserve one
some folks come round if you jus treat em bettern they deserve

its a risk but WHEN it pays out it pays big

Well, surprisingly, I've stifled the anger when I talked to her and explained that I'm upset and hurt but didn't swear or tell her I plan to hurt her or anything that I wish I could do. I hope it will pay off but sadly, this is how she is as a person. I should have realized that being out of high school would not change that

so how comes you friends in the first place

[SamaSenseiSenpai]

Shitposts like this is why I am rarely seen around here.

[Obscurus]

Real talk: Are you still in high school? Your friend acts like you might still be in high school.

[Obscurus]

SamaSenseiSenpai

Shitposts like this is why I am rarely seen around here.

Maybe if you'd just notice us we wouldn't have to shitpost all over the place, senpai.

[xWitchHazel]

Obscurus

Real talk: Are you still in high school? Your friend acts like you might still be in high school.

I'm in my second year of college. I'm nearly twenty.