What was leaving home like for you?

[My Little Spider Friend]

❝

... I'm almost 18, going to graduate out of highschool in a few months, and honestly I'm just dying to move out. My mother is probably the shittiest person I've ever met, all of my friends agree, and if you skype called me for a day you would too. She not only puts me down almost constantly for no reason, she is corrupting my 5 year old brothers mind, making him think I'm some sort of demonchild (when really, he is). I could start telling you about all of the things she does but I wouldn't be able to stop.
I just wish it wasn't like this, I wish it didn't feel like I have to escape from this place.
How was leaving home for you? Was it like an escape, or were you really close with your parents?
Did you go far? Do you regret it?

I just want to move in with my dad, once I graduate, hopefully sooner though. I'm getting sick of all this bs I have to put up with.

❞

[TlRA MlSU]

Good luck to you Lady Spider. Life gets better when you remove toxic people from it. sad

[Kuhlu]

Moving out and away is the best decision I've ever made.

The first few months post-graduation, I had nowhere to go. I unfortunately had to transfer straight from my boarding school back to living under my mother's roof. Those few months were a nightmare. My mother actually sounds very similar to yours; constantly putting me down, hardly helping me when I need it, manipulative, egocentric.. I'm sure you understand, it's a continuous list.

Long story short, she was desperate for me to return to school immediately (which I did not want to do), and offered to pay for an apartment for me while I was in college. So I moved about 45 minutes away to attend school.. and she followed me. She moved ten minutes away in the same city. And, this time she was able to use the apartment and the food money she had offered me under the condition that I went to college as leverage whenever she wanted something done (her way.)

"Oh, you won't do (this, this, this)? Well, give me back the card with your food money on it and start looking for a job to pay your rent."

And she wouldn't do this because I was doing heroin and refusing treatment, or not going to classes.. no, she would do this if I wanted to pay rent electronically as opposed to a money order, or when I wouldn't keep track of my money by carrying a notebook around to mark down every single thing that I bought and the price, and instead just downloaded my bank's application and checked how much I had in my account through my phone. She wanted me to live exactly as she did, and something done any other way than her way was automatically wrong. She always took the necessities away from me, as though her love and support were both conditional and only available if she was happy.

So, I eventually had enough. I dropped out of school and moved 26 hours away to live with my boyfriend. She was furious, but I have been SO MUCH HAPPIER since. Some mental health issues I've been struggling with for more than five years have begun working themselves out, and while things certainly aren't perfect, at least I finally have complete control over my life and decisions.

So, that's my story! I hope that maybe it's helped you out in some way, shape, or form. I hope everything works out for you as it needs to. emotion_bigheart Good luck!

[Brian Kush Flowerchild]

TlRA MlSU

Good luck to you Lady Spider. Life gets better when you remove toxic people from it. sad

I may have had a few too many shots raleady but this is some truth right hurr. I haven't had the pleasure to move away yet but I don't have anything I woudl iek to leave behind. Just make sure you have a plan. Or dont. I have a pla nand it turns to s**t every week or so.

So be prepared to adjust/? Or be prepared to drink it out. Cheers!

[Eizoryu]

You'll feel better when you're out of such a toxic atmosphere. My parents weren't like your mother, but there was a lot of s**t going down when I left home.

Leaving home was an escape for me, yes. My parents were in the middle of the shitstorm that was a recently-uncovered two-year-long affair on Dad's part. I'd just come back home for the summer from my first year at Uni, and living in that house was just... Gad. The atmosphere was just so heavy and nasty and ready to drop a metaphorical tornado. I stayed in my room or upstairs in general most of the time.
I made the mistake of mentioning moving out to be with my then-boyfriend, or Dad overheard or something, and he threw a fit because he was a controller losing control of things in his life. We had a shouting match (more of him shouting and making impotent threats against my now-husband over the phone) the day before I left.
I packed up my things at 2AM in the morning, scared as hell that my parents would hear me and stop me, after my husband and a friend of his talked me into getting out of the house. My sister-in-law's now-ex-boyfriend picked me up at the local Walmart. I left everything that Dad had bought me for college (laptop, cell phone, and truck) as something of a "Proof I don't need the things you buy me, and you can't stop me with them," type of thing. And a note telling them where the truck was and that the keys were in it.

I went to Texas, which was a six hour drive from home for me. And no, I don't regret it. I'd do it again.

[TlRA MlSU]

Brian Kush Flowerchild

TlRA MlSU

Good luck to you Lady Spider. Life gets better when you remove toxic people from it. sad

I may have had a few too many shots raleady but this is some truth right hurr. I haven't had the pleasure to move away yet but I don't have anything I woudl iek to leave behind. Just make sure you have a plan. Or dont. I have a pla nand it turns to s**t every week or so.

So be prepared to adjust/? Or be prepared to drink it out. Cheers!

Lol You must have had quite a few shots! I can tell by your typing. Wish I could have a drink with you myself. lol

[zweet_dreamz]

Wow, some of you seem to have very...odd parents.
Either way, I wouldn't know how it felt because my mother died a few months before I graduated secondary school, so I was living on my own (well, with my brother but still on my own) for quite some time.
I lived with my aunt and uncle for a month when I moved back home. They were nice, but I felt uncomfortable living with them when I had my own space and freedom at home.

[Ignis_Vulpes420]

My Little Spider Friend

❝

... I'm almost 18, going to graduate out of highschool in a few months, and honestly I'm just dying to move out. My mother is probably the shittiest person I've ever met, all of my friends agree, and if you skype called me for a day you would too. She not only puts me down almost constantly for no reason, she is corrupting my 5 year old brothers mind, making him think I'm some sort of demonchild (when really, he is). I could start telling you about all of the things she does but I wouldn't be able to stop.
I just wish it wasn't like this, I wish it didn't feel like I have to escape from this place.
How was leaving home for you? Was it like an escape, or were you really close with your parents?
Did you go far? Do you regret it?

I just want to move in with my dad, once I graduate, hopefully sooner though. I'm getting sick of all this bs I have to put up with.

❞

First I would like to send my regards. That is not a fun situation to be in. So I hope things do eventually workout for you with your parents. But on to your question.

When I left home two and a half years ago it was an escape. My hometown was small.... like really small. There wasn't much to do unless you were fully involved in every school activity, which was possible. but that's over. But Mine was an escape because my mom was very "controlling". I was eighteen but still needed to ask permission to go out with my closest friends, one of which is my cousin... it just wasn't fun. I wanted freedom and to be my own person. So for me it was an escape. But I do get along with my parents and so there I have no issues really, except for the fact mom still hasn't fully let me go. But soon she should see I am find on my own and can make it. xp

All will work out friend, and just know that soon you will be on your own, able to be responsible for you choices, actions, and tasks at hand. Have fun with it but still remember they love you. heart sweatdrop

[Vardoger]

+1 for moving out is awesome.

I hated my parents. They forced me to go to college, so I deliberately picked the college furthest away that they'd pay for (another state). BEST decision ever. My quality of life dramatically fell and that sucked, but I learned almost everything I needed to when living away from the coddling helicopters.

After graduation, I had to move back in with them. Hated it even more. Joined the Navy, got stationed in Japan, ******** godspeed man. Perfect excuse to not be in contact with them ever. They still tried to contact me and it was annoying but at least it was 100x less than when I was in the states.

I live in Hawaii now (as a civilian), still halfway around the world from them. Now that we're both older and both been through therapy, relations are a bit better but I can safely say I wish I had moved out sooner and I never desire to move in with them again.

A very large portion of my "choosing where to live" process has been "How far I can be away from family to have the least amount of acceptable contact with them."

Unfortunately Hawaii kind of backfired because it's "paradise" and they try to think up any excuse to come here. But thankfully they've only visited once so far and financially there's no way they'd be able to justify visiting more than once a year.

[Raven Winter]

I lived alone for about a month or two in an empty house -- I mean literally empty; most rooms had nothing in them -- and that sucked. After my dad died, I moved into his house, entirely stripped clean by his girlfriend, and all their neighbors and friends hated me and would do things like break s**t left outside, ******** with me using the garage door opener she stole, break into the house (or at least try), and so on.

When you live alone in the house of a dead man surrounded by people who actively hate you, who've tried to harm you, holed up, poor and with nothing to ever do and nowhere to ever be, no one to ever talk to, no friends, it's less than pleasant. That's probably when I started carrying a sword around so much that I stopped really noticing when I was doing it. I've only fairly recently stopped doing that as much; it just became like any other habit.

All that aside, though, it was cool not living with my family, short-lived as it was. Now my mom owns the house next door where my sister lives and my mom herself lives here in the house I own.
And I'd sure love to move out again, honestly.

[Memetic Sexgod]

My moving out was very casual. My fiancée needed to find a new apartment and since we were going to live in the same city we moved in together. I adjust to changes very easily and it was like we'd always lived together since day one for me.

[Sophie Rayne]

I don't have odd parents, either... my family is close knitted.... I live in my parent's beach house but I pay for the bills...it feels good to be by myself...

[!d!ot Amer!ca]

For me, it was absolute freedom.

I was with an abusive, alcoholic mother who wouldn't work and would harass her ex-husband daily.
When I moved out, I have never once regretted it.
My mother was facing foreclosure, and her and my brother were thinking about moving back to Michigan.
I was like, "Nuuuupe" because I was still in school, so I moved in with my now-husband, who was just my boyfriend.
5 years later, we own a home together.
emotion_kirakira
Best decision of my life.
I've never been mentally healthier.

[Shark Bacon]

It was cool. It wasn't like a decision I made because I wanted to, really, even though I did- my car broke down and I needed to be able to walk to work and school, and my boyfriend told me to move in with him. So I did. That was like... five years ago?

But it was great. Like crazy new freedom. Able to be responsible for myself. My parents were so strict, I was never able to do that before, so it was awesome to be on my own.