Turning my life around

poll

yes poll	100.0%	[ 29 ]
Total Votes:			[ 29 ]

[thepillowithoutlove]

Ever since i was a little kid, my head was full of calculating, scheming thoughts to try and get things i want by manipulating people, lying and hurting others.

After a recent confrontation with my mom, now i have accepted that i have been like this: and i want to change.

however, it never seems to last. it has become a habit, for me to lie about what i think, my feelings, my intentions, in order to get where i want to be.

i lied to cover my mistakes, i hurt and framed people unconsciously but intentionally in order for myself to feel more secure about myself...

and i have become so wrapped up in this corruptness that it became a second nature to me...i seem to have lost all empathy for others, i seem to feel no guilt as i do something as immoral as getting behind my mom's back and lying to my dad in order to get what i want...

and now i really disgust myself. though i tried, i really cant stop this way of life i've been leading for so many years. i'm really trying hard and my family has given me the last chance to prove that i can go back to my innocence at the start...

i feel ashamed and i really do want to change...

[dark_mark_138]

good luck with that

[thepillowithoutlove]

dark_mark_138

good luck with that

thank you.

[thepillowithoutlove]

has anyone else this way before?

im the only person in the family to have this characteristic...everyone else is completely truthful honest, open and just. They're all simple and innocent, just the way they are.

i've never felt so alone, and i have inflicted enough pain on all of them...

[BlazBlue Rachel Alucard]

The first thing to do is stop lying... Lies hurt, especially when their about people, including yourself. People love honesty it makes them secure. & if you tell your friends the truth i can't say they'll stick around but on some level they'll appreciate your honesty. Anyway good friends always stick around. So if they ditch you make new friends with a new start, an honest start. If you feel that you have to lie alot, you probably think your own history is not interesting enough, or worthy enough to share. That's undestandable since most of our lives are fairly common. But try to see your life as a unique story, one that you don't have have to fill in with little interesting lies so people appreciate you more. & besides, people don't take being lied to lightly. Be honest to your good friends; give them a general idea of waht you have been doing, & they'll understand if you tell them correctly.

[thepillowithoutlove]

Real Shippuuden Hinata

The first thing to do is stop lying... Lies hurt, especially when their about people, including yourself. People love honesty it makes them secure. & if you tell your friends the truth i can't say they'll stick around but on some level they'll appreciate your honesty. Anyway good friends always stick around. So if they ditch you make new friends with a new start, an honest start. If you feel that you have to lie alot, you probably think your own history is not interesting enough, or worthy enough to share. That's undestandable since most of our lives are fairly common. But try to see your life as a unique story, one that you don't have have to fill in with little interesting lies so people appreciate you more. & besides, people don't take being lied to lightly. Be honest to your good friends; give them a general idea of waht you have been doing, & they'll understand if you tell them correctly.

thank you for this...I appreciate it.
I know i'm going to try harder this time...

[vanity armageddon]

umm
i know that its really hard to change what have you used to do and i know the feeling and now im lying too about what i feel to my mom and sometiems i choose to lie just not to break my mom's heart!

but though i dont know you Im proud of you cause you have the gutts to change your life though you know its hard, but me i will never regret that im lying to my mom about my feelings

also a big good luck!!!!

[Skyhop Xigua]

Start by changing one lie you're about to say into a truth a day. See where that gets you.

That's some major realization. I can't imagine trying to move through that. Good luck.

[Accurite Typur]

Weak.

[hellodeletaccountpls]

I think you'd do a great job making it up the ranks of Scientology.

[zach8270]

They say that admittance of a problem is the first step toward recovery.

It's a long journey to turn your life around, and a very hard one as well. Many people attempt but often fail. You have to stay strong and really be committed to the idea of fixing who you are if you expect to succeed.

[Rhianna]

When it comes to rehabilitating your life and getting over an addiction (which chronic lying is in a way) it's a multiple part process.

Therapy is crucial. Very few people can overcome addiction and be successful in treatment completely on their own. There's just too little motivation when the addiction is enjoyable (you said yourself that you lie and manipulate because it gets you things and makes you feel better about yourself) and too little pressure. You need to get in touch with a counselor or therapist and start having regular appointments. Don't give up if your first one or even first five therapists don't "click" with you, it can take a while to find the right one.

Goal-Setting is also crucial because it gives you tangible, reachable goals to strive for. You can't simply say "I'm going to get over this!" in general. Well, sure, but where do you go from there? How do you go about doing that? If it was that simple, wouldn't you have done it already? With some firm goal setting you can start with things like "For one day, I'm not going to lie or manipulate." That may mean an entire day of "Yes" or "No" answers only, I don't know. The idea is to set goals. From one day, you can move up to two days. Then maybe four. Then maybe an entire week. Maybe set a goal of being positive (honestly positive, not "lie to get something" positive).

Changing your settings is important. For you, this means cutting out people who encourage you to lie. It's one of the most common ways that addicts slide back in to the lifestyle. They think that they can hang out with their old friends/relationships, but you can't. If they encouraged you or allowed you to lie, you need time away from them until you have a good proven track record of being clean from manipulating and lying.

[Kyrifics]

...

[cruzen goth]

mrgreen hi...........

[iPillow]

Join the military. It'll definitely help you resolve these issues.