Getting over your first love.

[ectogasm]

KayJane

My first love was, and still is, a piece of s**t.

[her354]

I'm honestly not sure who I would consider my first love. I had a few crushes in elementary and middle school that were meh. One of the first guys I had strong feelings for was when I was 14. Nothing came of it because of the age gap. He was a poet, I was (and still am a poet) and I admired him. I thought of him as my sensei, always asking him advice so I could improve in my writing. As always it started off sweet, but eventually I got obsessed and it went downhill from there. I was in a long term one sided crush and deluded myself into thinking he would propose once I turned 18 (or at least realize his feelings for me). A close guy friend was honest and though I was stubborn, helped me to realize I was wasting my time and heart on him. It was hard and I did need closure, but the best advice I can give is live your life and one day you'll realize you've gotten over them. Also, I know every situation is different, but try to stay friends.

[Revolutionary Rhapsody]

Sorry for your loss, OP.

First love was an online best friend of mine...and I guess it was really just intense infatuation. I just felt so drawn to her and appreciated her and the little things we'd talk about still mean a lot to me. At the time just getting a text from her sent me into smiles and seeing her online made my face warm. No matter how little it was, everything meant something to me. I might have had a chance, even, but I didn't act on it. I was afraid of losing the friendship we had over it.

But then things happened where we almost did fall entirely out of contact for reasons out of our control and I just held onto the hope that she'd be back one day and I wanted to pick things right back up where they'd been left and we did get that chance. I still consider her one of my best friends and I'll always love her in different ways. I've never cared about anyone that seriously before really so I don't know how it goes.

We exchanged letters a couple times. Snail mail. I've kept them and the envelopes they came in and I take them out when I'm sad. The paper's yellowed, but they're there, she's there, even if just as my friend.

[SirPuzzle]

KayJane

My first love was, and still is, an piece of s**t.

Why is it that women always describe their ex's as "pieces of s**t" but then describe their current boyfriends as the best boyfriend they've ever had?

Is there like some universal law in which every single time a woman gets a new boyfriend he is an upgrade to the previous?

So like if you were to graph this s**t, on the x-axis is (boyfriend number X) and on the y-axis is "how good boyfriend X is" and the slope of the tangent line on this graph is positive on the entire domain?

If this is the case, like this is some dating law that can be graphed mathematically as I described, then why don't women just keep dumping their current boyfriends and dating a new one because apparently just by some giant coincidence according to them their current boyfriend is always the best they've had.

Or women are a bunch of delusional and naive nutbags?

Wonder which one it is?

[Creeping It Real]

I've been in a lot of relationships before I could call someone my first love.
I was dating this wonderful woman for one year and seven months up until yesterday,
I really messed up and I want her back, but in my guts, it tells me we're really over.
That's a hard pill to swallow when your first love walks out on you for your mistakes.
Sadly, I can't cry about it, tears just don't want to relieve itself from this painful body.

My first love was butterflies and a rush of beats in my chest.
And I just look at her saying wow, she may be the one I am gonna marry.
My first love may have been my soulmate, too..

Coping after a break up is hard. I can't remember the last depression I've felt..

[SPAstronaut]

Your first love, how was it for you?
I met him when we were 15, in highschool, Business class to be specific. Honestly the only reason I talked to him was because he hung out with all the 'cool' guys who were in a metal band and I thought he was in a band too, haha. He wasn't. Doesn't even know how to play an instrument.

Anyways, so we became friends. He texted me a lot, we chatted on msn a lot, he asked me to the formal (Australian version of the Prom) before we had even reached grade 12. All his friends started calling me "Grantzy's Girl" (his last name is Grantz), very immature and made me feel a little weird.. A year of him chasing me and he finally won me over when we were 16.

We've been together for over 5 and a half years now, he proposed to me a couple of months ago and we are getting married on our 7 year anniversary on March 5th, 2016. Sometimes he feels more like a best ******** buddy instead of a fiancé, though.. Especially lately. Sigh.. </3

I've had other partners before him, but I wasn't in love with any of them. How could I have been? As I said, we were only 16 when we started dating.

Your first love today, how is it for you? Nostalgic, endearing, nightmarish, regrettable?
Still with the dude.

Losing loved ones in tragedy, how do you cope?
I've had nightmares about this. I have no idea what I would do. My mum lost my dad to suicide 21 years ago. She still talks about him a lot, tells me stories about him, how they met, silly things he did. You can tell she still loves him and has never gotten over it. Neither have we (my 2 older brothers and I). Sometimes I get so ******** mad that he made that choice. To end his life and leave her to raise a 5 year old, 3 year old and 10 month old all by herself. I feel so abandoned sometimes. But when it comes down to it, he was really sick. His schizophrenia just got worse and worse. How can I be mad at someone for having a mental disorder? I can't..

Jesus, I'm getting way off topic. How would I cope? I wouldn't. Only time can heal pain. Even then, it doesn't always ease pain.

Moving on from a relationship when you never got the chance for closure?
You know, I don't think you can. I think you need the closure. At least, I would.

Anything related.
I feel really sorry for you. I wish you never had to go through such pain, I can't even imagine what that would feel like. If you ever need to talk, about anything at all, feel free to send me a message. I promise I'll always listen.

[thewaitingtree]

Ouch. Wow. Sorry for you.

Why do you have to forget her? Maybe you can find a kind person who will understand you still love your girlfriend who is gone. So long as it's not like you don't have room in your heart for someone else - I don't see why this can't be.

--
My first love... eh... I guess he was. I'm a little bit bitter. I allowed myself to love him. And though I know he wanted to say he loved me - he held back. It was really stupid. He and I started dating despite his disbelief in long distance relationships, and with his knowing my full intentions of moving to Asia (but this was 9 years ago. i wasn't positive i would get to move here, i just wanted to very badly.). So it didn't last for long. I was hurt - mostly because he didn't explain his reasoning. I only figured it out about 2 years ago when he wrote me out of the blue to apologize and he actually explained. Not sure what he wanted bringing up the past like that ---- but it was oddly timed because I was moving to Asia in a month when he contacted me.
I had in my mind how awful he was, but when I compare him to some others - I realize his breaking up with me was a kindness. It's better to break up when there's a very sure parting in the future -- then to hold on to promises that we know we can't or won't keep.

[xVallx]

Your first love, how was it for you?

The guy I was in my first serious relationship with was probably the most romantic. I mean, no one else has ever boughten me flowers, not just a bouquet, but huge, expensive displays of flowers. He even got me a get well card when I was feeling sick, and took me out for surprise picnic dates. We started dating when I was 15, and it lasted over 3 years. I was pretty complicated as he was a Jehovah's Witness and his family didn't know about me, and after graduation we couldn't see each other too often. He ended up getting a new girlfriend, but never told me about her or vise-versa, so he essentially cheated on me for a year and a half of our relationship.

Your first love today, how is it for you? Nostalgic, endearing, nightmarish, regrettable?

I was really bitter for about 2 years, and we didn't speak. But we occasionally talk on facebook once or twice a year and it's nothing bitter now. Sometimes I think "what if?" scenerios of what our relationship would be like if he never cheated and what not. He really was sweet though, he would take me to chapters sometimes to pick out books and we would go to fancy restaurants and he would sneak off and pay the bill when I went to the washroom because I would always insist on splitting.

Losing loved ones in tragedy, how do you cope?

I can't even imagine how you feel. My boyfriend almost got into an accident today because his car stalled, and I can't comprehend what I would even do without him in my life all of a sudden. Honestly, you should see if there is widow therapy you could seek out even though you weren't married. You deserve to be able to start over fresh. I really am truly sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel.

Moving on from a relationship when you never got the chance for closure?

Eh, I've been cheated on by 3 partners and I found it really difficult to be able to trust men. I trust my current boyfriend though, which says a lot because we're mostly long distance since I am away for school except on holidays. If you can't find closure, you should seek counselling or find a way to confide in your partner who would understand that you still love your past girlfriend.

[AutismArtsy]

SirPuzzle

KayJane

My first love was, and still is, an piece of s**t.

Why is it that women always describe their ex's as "pieces of s**t" but then describe their current boyfriends as the best boyfriend they've ever had?

Is there like some universal law in which every single time a woman gets a new boyfriend he is an upgrade to the previous?

So like if you were to graph this s**t, on the x-axis is (boyfriend number X) and on the y-axis is "how good boyfriend X is" and the slope of the tangent line on this graph is positive on the entire domain?

If this is the case, like this is some dating law that can be graphed mathematically as I described, then why don't women just keep dumping their current boyfriends and dating a new one because apparently just by some giant coincidence according to them their current boyfriend is always the best they've had.

Or women are a bunch of delusional and naive nutbags?

Wonder which one it is?

I've been horribly abused and used to the extreme by my first love. Calling him an piece of s**t isn't nearly as bad as what he did to me.

I do have a current boyfriend, but I don't think he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I love him with all of my heart, but he is better in certain areas than my past boyfriends.

[AutismArtsy]

Mae Lovelyn

KayJane

My first love was, and still is, an piece of s**t.

This x100.
I hope my first love crawled back under his rock and stayed there. stare

Me, too.
My first love had nothing when I first moved in with him. No running water, shitty bed with springs sticking out etc. He was trying to get disability but he has no reason to be on it. He is so nutty that he hits himself in the head when he gets frustrated on Xbox live. I met him online, and unfortunately, fell in love with his good for nothing a**. I had income coming in, and he was leeching off of me. When we moved into his friend's apartment, they startes leeching off of me too because they were on welfare. So, I moved back home. Never again ! I was raised to never judge anyone, but if a guy doesn't have income coming in, he's undateable for me.

[xChibi Cannibalx]

First love and first boyfriend/girlfriend is different to me. I honestly believe you can only fall in true love once. So ill be answering this towards my first girlfriend

Your first partner, how was it for you?
Lasted about a year, but we never got all that serious. I kissed her for the first time a few months in on her birthday. It was a single peck, and i felt nothing. I liked her as a close friend, but nothing more. It ended shortly after

Your first partner today, how is it for you? Nostalgic, endearing, nightmarish, regrettable?
I dunno, its just a memory. Its not bad nor good

Moving on from a relationship when you never got the chance for closure?
Only happened once for me, but i kept moving forward. Knowing i didnt love them and they didnt love me was all i needed for closure. My past break ups are what lead me to my current boyfriend, who ive been with for 4+ years and plan to marry one day

[Little Dead Soldier]

KayJane

My first love was, and still is, an piece of s**t.

This. I hate my first love.

[Zultim]

Your first love, how was it for you?
It was awesome. I remember actually wanting to start my day so I could hang out with him after I completed all my job-searching chores... heart
4 days later, he wanted to have sex. We did. Then he talked non-stop about his ex-girlfriend. I felt like a whore. I couldn't even stay in that car. I got out and tried to go back into the house and he was right behind me, hugging me, talking about, "But you are good, too."
Our relationship was like best-friends with benefits. I did not like the benefits part very much.

Your first love today, how is it for you? Nostalgic, endearing, nightmarish, regrettable?
What? If I had to look back on that one...I would have to say that it was regrettable.

Losing loved ones in tragedy, how do you cope?
I did not lose anyone in a tragic way.

Moving on from a relationship when you never got the chance for closure?
I did not need closure. I told him that we should go our own way so we can date whoever we want. He was the one who wanted closure; he would not leave me alone like he actually had feelings for me. -_-" We all know that he was just bored...

Anything related.
I'm not sure...
If you are trying to get over someone, all I can say is that it is not easy. Expect it to take a long time and it will suck. Just do your best. Go on with life, try another hair style, go shop a bit. Play some videogames, go on a walk, go to a park, go try to volunteer at the Red Cross (and have fun trying to find their office. Stupid Red Cross.) and just...keep going.

[vdszbz]

I never really had a first love. There were guys I really liked and connected with, but it never lasted long. Most of my relationships were garbage.

[Riims]

KayJane

My first love was, and still is, an piece of s**t.