"The Reason I hate Myself Is..."

[Marvelous Mr Fish]

Let's face it. I've never posted a thread with a positive message. Why break tradition?

Keeping things short and simple, what is it about you, personality wise, physically, mentally, emotionally, or what-have-you, that makes you self conscious?
How does said issue impact your life? Do you try to hide it? Do you try to work around it? Do you try to remedy it?

For me, personally, I hate myself because of my weight issues. I was a little porker as a child, (at the age of 13 I was approximately 5'6" and I weighed 210 pounds) Fast forward three months, I was up to 6' tall and weighed 137 pounds.
I'm now sitting at 6'1" and 149. now, I know some people may say "but SOFFISH- you aren't fat!" And to that I would say "why, yes, you are right, but I still FEEL fat." I still obsess over my weight. I am constantly on a diet. I am constantly trying to starve myself and I am constantly spending countless hours jogging and lifting weights to try to burn off every ounce of body fat. Adversely, I am addicted to food. Food is my calling in life, whether it's cooking it or eating it. I have always dreamed of being a chef ever since I was 4 years old ( a dream which I have already given up for financial security) But still, my life revolves around food, making it really hard to waste away.

But tell me, LD posters, new or old, why do you hate yourself? ANd don't lie, no matter how confident you are, you can pick out at least one flaw in yourself.

[Alexander J Luthor]

My addiction to Gaia is ******** ridiculous. I've been on a much nicer, calmer site for almost a year now and I can't drop this place because I love flipping s**t and watching others do the same. Often over trivial reasons.

[Toki Bird]

The reason I hate myself...
-weight issues. I lost 60 pounds and I've gained 20 back, but I guess it doesn't help that I've become a lazy mother ********
-I've suddenly become really anti social
-I hate my job now which makes me unhappy
-I hate how I don't have any artistic motivation any more

that's only just a few things.

[Raven Winter]

You should be a chef because dreams.

[Marvelous Mr Fish]

bannedinonepost

for every inch i am taller than you i am 20lb heavier. P.S you must have deep issues with weed and alcohol then

Alcohol, yes. Although, my desire to wither has been stronger than my desire to drink myself to sleep, as alcohol has a lot of calories.

[Marvelous Mr Fish]

Raven Winter

You should be a chef because dreams.

If I ever win the lottery or get fired, I'm going back to culinary school. I like my job as it is, now, and I make good money, have great benefits, and it's a pretty solid job. Lots of exercise, too.

[Missy Murderess]

im an a*****e and i dont like changing

[Raven Winter]

Marvelous Mr Fish

Raven Winter

You should be a chef because dreams.

If I ever win the lottery or get fired, I'm going back to culinary school. I like my job as it is, now, and I make good money, have great benefits, and it's a pretty solid job. Lots of exercise, too.

That's good, then. Whatever makes you happy.

[Pawlas Cathena]

I don't hate myself at all. cat_cool

[ectogasm]

I hate myself because:
I'm depressed but I don't do anything about it because I can never pick myself up for very long.
I settle for self loathing and I stay away from social activities.
I don't do anything about my appearance, I'd like to lose weight but I'm not motivated for long.
I'm depressed cause I'm fat, I'm fat because I'm depressed.
I'm almost 20, still haven't had a job, still upgrading in uni, and I've gotten nowhere in life. I'm so ******** in the head I choose to stay in my comfort zone where I don't face my problems.
I'm ugly, fat and pathetic and too sad.
I hate myself because I never allow myself to feel pride, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
I hate myself because I worry about what other people think, I listen to my parents.
I hate myself because I have a conscious and listen to it.

☠

[Why Juxtaposed]

ectogasm

I hate myself because:
I'm depressed but I don't do anything about it because I can never pick myself up for very long.
I settle for self loathing and I stay away from social activities.
I don't do anything about my appearance, I'd like to lose weight but I'm not motivated for long.
I'm depressed cause I'm fat, I'm fat because I'm depressed.
I'm almost 20, still haven't had a job, still upgrading in uni, and I've gotten nowhere in life. I'm so ******** in the head I choose to stay in my comfort zone where I don't face my problems.
I'm ugly, fat and pathetic and too sad.
I hate myself because I never allow myself to feel pride, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
I hate myself because I worry about what other people think, I listen to my parents.
I hate myself because I have a conscious and listen to it.

☠

do you see a therapist

[ectogasm]

Why Juxtaposed

ectogasm

I hate myself because:
I'm depressed but I don't do anything about it because I can never pick myself up for very long.
I settle for self loathing and I stay away from social activities.
I don't do anything about my appearance, I'd like to lose weight but I'm not motivated for long.
I'm depressed cause I'm fat, I'm fat because I'm depressed.
I'm almost 20, still haven't had a job, still upgrading in uni, and I've gotten nowhere in life. I'm so ******** in the head I choose to stay in my comfort zone where I don't face my problems.
I'm ugly, fat and pathetic and too sad.
I hate myself because I never allow myself to feel pride, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
I hate myself because I worry about what other people think, I listen to my parents.
I hate myself because I have a conscious and listen to it.

☠

do you see a therapist

I have seen a doctor but that didn't last long.
Haven't seen a therapist or counselor.

☠

[[Kat.On.A.Stick]]

The things that make me self-consious:
My voice, through a microphone... apparently I sound fine, but I'm really self-conscious about it when playing games, to the point where I won't even talk. I'll have lots to say, but won't because I've heard my voice through a mic before, and I think it's hideous!

Also, I would love to lose a ton of weight, but I just can't get myself to do it. I had my diet completely planned out, but because it was less food than I am used to eating, I was constantly hungry and felt like s**t.... If my mom didn't buy super yummy stuff it would be so much easier .-.

My strabismus. My eyes look in different directions, and it makes conversations awkward because I don't know what eye to look at people with and so I'm constantly switching them. I seriously think it effects my image in the eyes of others because as humans, we see eye-contact as a form of respect and it's physically impossible for me to keep good eye contact.

My teeth. I have one of those god-awful gaps in my front teeth, my mom never bothered to get me any when I was younger...


I don't hate myself though, I have people who love me for what I am, and it makes me happy.

~ Fly over me Evil Angel ~

[antimatter]

I can't get my s**t together enough to tidy my ******** bedroom. I'm a goddamn adult who's been flatting for over 8 years, I thought I would have this s**t sorted by now. The rest of the house is fine, too.

I'm doing the rest of the stuff I'm supposed to, but this bit is not happening and it's embarrassing.

Also I have terrible time management, late everywhere, terrible at prioritizing and prone to procrastination. My memory's bad and I get stuck on repeat. I hate the sound of my own voice, but keep talking. And so on...

I am getting a bit better at finding bright sides and not wallowing completely in self pity though, so there's that. A lot of people actually find they cheer up when I'm around, which wouldn't have been the case 10 years ago.

But since this is why we hate ourselves... I feel like I didn't turn out that well.