Dusted Wildebeest
Vai_Fluff
I'm not going to tell you I understand, although much of what you've said I can relate to in my own life. I'm not going to tell you I have an answer because I don't. I'm still working on an answer to my own existence and my own problems.
All I can say is...forget it all and let it all go (I'm not trying to reference any sort of Frozen message).
All you can do is find the things that make you happy (in a healthy way) and let go of everything else dragging you down because no one else can tell you what's going to make you happy. You've got to find it and work at it.
And if you need someone to talk to, even just to vent or have a sympathetic ear to hear you out, you can write to me. I don't mean to be this hero or anything. I just know that everyone needs an unbiased person to listen to them, without judgment or criticism. And that's me if you'd like.
You tried to be helpful, so thank you. But the way people will continue to treat me isn't something I can let go. It's not a grudge. I have a hole in my life. It can't be let go. It must be filled. There is no way, on this planet or the next, that I am going to be able to "just find what makes me happy." It's not even an option.
Once again, I know you were trying to help. But the more people try to help, and say things like this that utterly misunderstand the place I am in, the lonelier it ultimately makes me feel.
It's hard to let go, but when you do you'll see their opinions don't matter. People, the way they think about us or even material objects don't make us happy. But I can't tell you what does because it's different for everyone. That's why I said you have to find it. And then you have to work at keeping it. Happiness, and life in general, isn't easy.
