Kibbity_Kabbit2
!d!ot Amer!ca
So you're just wanting James to take care of you?
What are you going to contribute to the finances?
I agree with your parents, to be perfectly honest.
You can still be with James even though you're living with your parents.
Have you even seriously sat-down and talked about marriage with James? His parents? Your parents (before now)?
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
Before you know it, you're struck down. We've been dating for 4 years, so of course we've talked about marriage. My parents knew a long time ago I wanted to marry James. My parents said, "As long as he can provide for you, we don't mind." I currently have a job right now. Just because I'll be getting married doesn't mean I still won't establish a career for myself. I have plans to go to trade school & get a business degree. Career wise-I've considered photography, because I'm good at it. But really, I don't know what I want to do for a career. That's why I chose to get a business degree. With that, I can do just about anything. All I know & have known is that I love James & I want to be with him. Everyday that I'm not married to him just makes me more & more depressed. It's all I ever wanted, even before I met him. It sucks to have someone tell me I can't have the one thing I want the most. That just doesn't feel right to me at all.
Actually, I can kind of understand this.
Not the all-I've-ever-wanted-is-to-be-married part, but the rest of it, yeah.
...though you have to admit, this probably does seem like a VERY young age for marriage to your parents. Have you tried to assert your independence in any other ways? Paying your own way, taking on responsibilities, displaying reliability?
I think what's largely alarming about this is the emotional way you describe it.
neutral You talking about how 'depressed' you are about this and how desperate you are to get married, and the mere thought that James will 'take care of you' probably freaks them out. Key words, and all that. I think to make this work you need to learn to present all your thoughts in a more...level-headed and diplomatic fashion.
So in short, in a perfect world, it would be best for you to wait. Because you're not interested in that route, though, I think it would be best to display a little more level-headedness to win them over.
I look forward to being flamed with you.
3nodding