expressing emotion/relationship?

[Rath Roiben Ryee]

i have a very hard time getting emotions out, expressing them, or even talking about how i feel. i mainly have a blank face and have a very hard time getting along with people who can express emotions like nothing because i make it seem like i don't care at all or appear annoyed, then they get upset because unfortunately i mainly just sit there or accidentally sound rude to them and upset them more.

my girlfriend is one that can easily express her emotions to me and tell me what is wrong - while i just hide everything that i feel and things that bother me. i know it's bad for me to probably do that, but i really can't help it. now this issue of mine seems to be troubling our relationship. because, honestly, i will just not talk to her if i am angered or upset or anything. or if i get mad or annoyed i'll shut myself up and not speak and pay attention to something else. i know that is awful and i have no excuse for it; i'm just very independent and prefer to be left alone during that time. she knows this but still gets upset with me so i tend to lash out then.

she also wants me to talk to her about things that are bothering me, but i'd prefer to do things on my own. then she gets upset when i don't, then that angers me and it's just a cycle of anger and annoyance if something troubling comes up or something stressful is happening.

she is trying to get me to express my problems and how i feel to her, but it never works. i have tried to...express myself but it never worked - the people seemed to brush it aside or believe that i was lying so why bother to try with that anymore?

i'm just not too sure about this whole thing. i have explained to her how i am and even if it's not good or healthy or whatever it just happens.

i don't know if there is any way to help with this whole emotional/expressing issue or what. but i was just hoping if someone could help me with how to deal with this for relationship wise. i would like if i not made her feel bad for my problems, but i'm just not sure how. this whole thing is rather ridiculous though...

[Nekocita]

I have the same problem. It's like I can be animated and upbeat until it comes to something like...love. Then it's like my emotions almost shut down. I need help but where does one go for help for this problem?
Someone told me to practice in a mirror talking to yourself. I haven't tried it yet.

[marron_kuri]

Yeah, I also have this problem. sweatdrop

I don't have any helpful advice I can give you on this, but it seems like this is probably way more common than you thought.

[Inscriven]

So why are you in a relationship, then?

You prefer to do everything on your own, you get irritated when people want to understand you, so what benefit do you get out of having a partner if all you do is go introvert and lash out at them?


I wouldn't call this ridiculous, it's kinda troubling really that you are that closed off and it'll keep you from keeping many meaningful relationships of any sort.

[marron_kuri]

Inscriven

So why are you in a relationship, then?

You prefer to do everything on your own, you get irritated when people want to understand you, so what benefit do you get out of having a partner if all you do is go introvert and lash out at them?


I wouldn't call this ridiculous, it's kinda troubling really that you are that closed off and it'll keep you from keeping many meaningful relationships of any sort.

I can't agree with this. People are all different. Just because someone has a trait that you don't feel is ideal doesn't mean that they should be alone forever. I wouldn't want to date someone that is overly perky, but I wouldn't say that NO ONE would want to date someone like that. It simply isn't true.

Out of all the relationships I've had, the only person who thought of it as more serious than just a mild annoyance (if it bothered them at all) was the ex that was verbally, and then physically, abusive.

I'm having a hard time thinking of a good example, but let's take a look at Red, the dad from That 70s Show. He did not show his emotions. That didn't make him a bad guy, and that didn't mean he didn't love his family, he just didn't express himself as much as others.

Anyways, what I'm getting at is, of course there's benefit to having a partner. All humans crave companionship. There's definitely nothing wrong with her so that she wouldn't deserve this.

[Inscriven]

marron_kuri

Inscriven

So why are you in a relationship, then?

You prefer to do everything on your own, you get irritated when people want to understand you, so what benefit do you get out of having a partner if all you do is go introvert and lash out at them?


I wouldn't call this ridiculous, it's kinda troubling really that you are that closed off and it'll keep you from keeping many meaningful relationships of any sort.

I can't agree with this. People are all different. Just because someone has a trait that you don't feel is ideal doesn't mean that they should be alone forever. I wouldn't want to date someone that is overly perky, but I wouldn't say that NO ONE would want to date someone like that. It simply isn't true.

Out of all the relationships I've had, the only person who thought of it as more serious than just a mild annoyance (if it bothered them at all) was the ex that was verbally, and then physically, abusive.

I'm having a hard time thinking of a good example, but let's take a look at Red, the dad from That 70s Show. He did not show his emotions. That didn't make him a bad guy, and that didn't mean he didn't love his family, he just didn't express himself as much as others.

Anyways, what I'm getting at is, of course there's benefit to having a partner. All humans crave companionship. There's definitely nothing wrong with her so that she wouldn't deserve this.

I didnt' say OP didn't deserve companionship, I asked what is in it for OP in a relationship if the companionship aspect isn't really that desirable to them?

I disagree on the communication aspect not being "a problem". It is very much so. Even if both parties agree to "not communicate" is something, but having a situation where one partner is deprived of communication and connection with another is going to cause a rift. Everyone's got to be on the same level, and most people need that connection to some degree.

[Rath Roiben Ryee]

Nekocita

I have the same problem. It's like I can be animated and upbeat until it comes to something like...love. Then it's like my emotions almost shut down. I need help but where does one go for help for this problem?
Someone told me to practice in a mirror talking to yourself. I haven't tried it yet.

yes, true.
of course i smile, i laugh, you know, normal things, but when it comes to showing anger or sadness, that's all closed up.
practicing in a mirror? hmm...that would be something to try, i'm not too sure how that would go about though.

[Nekocita]

Nexiall

Nekocita

I have the same problem. It's like I can be animated and upbeat until it comes to something like...love. Then it's like my emotions almost shut down. I need help but where does one go for help for this problem?
Someone told me to practice in a mirror talking to yourself. I haven't tried it yet.

yes, true.
of course i smile, i laugh, you know, normal things, but when it comes to showing anger or sadness, that's all closed up.
practicing in a mirror? hmm...that would be something to try, i'm not too sure how that would go about though.

Thas the way I am as well. I keep things inside. Wonder what the psycological reason for that is.

[Rath Roiben Ryee]

Inscriven

So why are you in a relationship, then?

You prefer to do everything on your own, you get irritated when people want to understand you, so what benefit do you get out of having a partner if all you do is go introvert and lash out at them?


I wouldn't call this ridiculous, it's kinda troubling really that you are that closed off and it'll keep you from keeping many meaningful relationships of any sort.

i am in a relationship because we connected, we felt for each other romantically - if i felt like if i didn't want to be in a relationship i would not have agreed to be in one. i know all the agreements and consequences and such that can come with one, and yadda yadda.

it's not that i prefer to do everything alone, it's that i prefer to be alone when troubling situations come up that are personal to me. i only get mad when they keep pressing me for answers - some people would prefer to tell what they want on their own time and not be constantly spoken to about what's wrong.

perhaps i didn't explain too well about the situation and i apologize for that.

[Rath Roiben Ryee]

Nekocita

Nexiall

Nekocita

I have the same problem. It's like I can be animated and upbeat until it comes to something like...love. Then it's like my emotions almost shut down. I need help but where does one go for help for this problem?
Someone told me to practice in a mirror talking to yourself. I haven't tried it yet.

yes, true.
of course i smile, i laugh, you know, normal things, but when it comes to showing anger or sadness, that's all closed up.
practicing in a mirror? hmm...that would be something to try, i'm not too sure how that would go about though.

Thas the way I am as well. I keep things inside. Wonder what the psycological reason for that is.

i believe it can be from personality wise. that's just how you are.
my father is the same way - keeps anger and such inside and doesn't show emotion in front of people and such.
but experiences probably effect that too; bad childhood, not being taken seriously and such.
mine is more personality wise i believe.
but it's just something to work on.

[Rath Roiben Ryee]

faretheewell

Try this template: "Right now I feel ___ because ____ happened. I need to do ___ for a little while to deal with these emotions. Maybe we can do ___ in an hour? That would help me."

i could try this...maybe it would help. thanks. c:

[Kittinator]

I thought there was a word for this? Hates confrontation o_o?

[Rath Roiben Ryee]

Kittinator

I thought there was a word for this? Hates confrontation o_o?

i don't so much hate confrontation. it's just the simple fact of sharing my feelings and expressing how i feel.
i see confrontation as something like - speaking up to someone who is bothering you and such. something along those lines.

[Kittinator]

Nexiall

Kittinator

I thought there was a word for this? Hates confrontation o_o?

i don't so much hate confrontation. it's just the simple fact of sharing my feelings and expressing how i feel.
i see confrontation as something like - speaking up to someone who is bothering you and such. something along those lines.

Oh sad bleh wish I could help. My boyfriend is kind of like this..getting anything out of him is like..impossible lol. And if I do it's very short answers. But I always thought that was just a guy thing.

Wish I could help though. I tend to talk about my feelings too much gonk