Be Careful What You Wish For

[Countess MIM]

I had been crushing hard on this guy that had a girlfriend. They were together for 2 years and finally broke up a couple of weeks ago. I went over to his house last night and all him and his friends could talk about was her and what a terrible b***h she was. He got drunk and started stream of consciousness talking to me like I was her. Then told me that was no way that I would have ever stolen him away from her, because he loved her. That went on for HOURS until he finally started to freak me out. Talking about making her "pay" and "being a lot meaner than anyone thought he was". I finally went to leave and he tried to beg me to stay the night. Which I didn't, not after the s**t he'd said.

So my issue is, am I a b***h if I walk away? Does that make me a bad person or bad friend? We'd hooked up a couple of times when he was with his girlfriend. So I think that he thought that I was a sure bet. I don't know. I'm so hurt and confused. Someone help me get some perspective!

[highelf40000]

Countess MIM

I had been crushing hard on this guy that had a girlfriend. They were together for 2 years and finally broke up a couple of weeks ago. I went over to his house last night and all him and his friends could talk about was her and what a terrible b***h she was. He got drunk and started stream of consciousness talking to me like I was her. Then told me that was no way that I would have ever stolen him away from her, because he loved her. That went on for HOURS until he finally started to freak me out. Talking about making her "pay" and "being a lot meaner than anyone thought he was". I finally went to leave and he tried to beg me to stay the night. Which I didn't, not after the s**t he'd said.

So my issue is, am I a b***h if I walk away? Does that make me a bad person or bad friend? We'd hooked up a couple of times when he was with his girlfriend. So I think that he thought that I was a sure bet. I don't know. I'm so hurt and confused. Someone help me get some perspective!

Not gonna lie. That anger isnt a good sign but that said, that isnt uncommon with breakups. Especially long ones. Its up to you my friend. Its risky.

Though bare in mind. He hooked up with someone else while he was with someone he loved. Whats stopping him doing that to you? Again its a risk

[Countess MIM]

highelf40000

Though bare in mind. He hooked up with someone else while he was with someone he loved. Whats stopping him doing that to you? Again its a risk

She gave him permission. It has also come out since they had broken up that she had been sleeping with every single guy in a half mile radius. Honest to God I'm not exaggerating

[future relic]

What is appealing to you about a guy who would say those kinds of things, even if he wouldn't actually follow through with them? Do you want to be with someone who is willing to air his dirty laundry so freely, and to say things which reflect the potential for unnecessary anger/violence?

If the answer is no, then of course you are not a b***h for leaving. Your life choices are your own to decide.

[highelf40000]

Countess MIM

highelf40000

Though bare in mind. He hooked up with someone else while he was with someone he loved. Whats stopping him doing that to you? Again its a risk

She gave him permission. It has also come out since they had broken up that she had been sleeping with every single guy in a half mile radius. Honest to God I'm not exaggerating

If she is giving permission for him to do that. then you cant NOT expect her to be doing that. Thats an open relationship and itd be wrong for it to be unbalanced.

Again, its up to you. Do you want to be with this guy enough to risk the anger issue? Thats the bottom line. And if you DO go for it, dear god be prepared to leave if it goes wrong and fast.

[legnanellaf5]

He is obviously upset over it and I dont know what you expected? I also am suspiscious of how he has permission to hook up with you but she didnt? Either he is lying about permission or she broke the rules of the open relationship somewhere, but this isnt your mess.

[fubenkunai]

The dude is a duplicitous p***k with some seriously unsavory tendencies. Getting out of his house was the only sane and sensible thing to do. Frankly, I wouldn't waste any more time on him. Being upset after a breakup is one thing, but egging your friends on to drag your ex through the mud is another thing-- and the part where he starts making veiled threats? ******** no. That's not normal or okay. He sounds like an absolute raging douche, and now that you've seen his true colors, stay away.

[Srintella Tiagara]

Short answer..

No you are not a b***h for walking away. o_o;

[Trainer Aurora Rain]

Focusing on just your question, then no. You are making a healthy boundary where there are consequences for someone's actions. If you feel disrespected, which everyone has their own version of respect, you are absolutely in your right to request them to stop (it does not guarantee that they will stop) or leave.

You have the right as well as others, to be spoken to appropriately. Even if they don't respect you, they have no right to be offensive and expect you to keep receiving their actions.

[Treasaigh]

It is never a good idea to start a relationship with someone who had a recent break up. Clearly he has residual feelings, which he hasn't worked with. It is far frothe m a healthy situation.
Not only are you not a b***h for walking awa, you've shown good judgement. Stay clear. At this point, you would only end up hurt and feeling used had you stayed.