The Harry Potter Anti-Guide

[smallmilk]

"I love you, Author OC."

That's pure love. heart

[priuses]

If your main character does not have ten students, four adults, and three hippogriffs lusting after him/her at all times, he/she is just not good enough.

[Sqweezle]

If your main character is not a paradigm of good who literally makes no mistakes, then that character is just invalid. Do it again.

rolleyes

[Sqweezle]

NightmarePriestess

I won't keep the *BEST* fanfiction of all time

Thank you so much for the link.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.
"Yeah." I roared.
"Yeah." I roared.
"Yeah." I roared.

This.

[NightmarePriestess]

Heebie Bo Jeebies

NightmarePriestess

Thank you so much for the link.

You're very welcome. It is but my humble duty to share the wonders of the internet with everyone...

Also, your character should have some sort of defining feature like a scar that does NOTHING to detract from their physical appearance, grievous though it may be. You must also pick an eye color, like red or purple, and spend every other sentence saying things such as: "He gazed into her amethyst orbs" or something similar. Describing eyes will be about half of your story, so don't skimp on those poetic synonyms!!! And if it sounds corny after a while, you're doing your job!

[TheCloud77]

Never have normal sounding hair or eyes. That's boring, only lame and ugly characters have them. Instead of brown, have honey colored hair with strawberry blonde highlights, or midnight black hair with blood red tips. For eyes, try comparing them to gemstones. This always goes over well.

Hogwarts uniforms are for prepz, have your OC wear whatever she wants.

Also, remember, Hogwarts is only a school in name. Teachers do not care if students are always skipping classes to make out in the astronomy tower or go to Muggle rock concerts and shopping malls. Also, curfew doesn't exist. You'll never ever get caught for being on the grounds after hours.

[NightmarePriestess]

TheCloud77

Teachers do not care if students are always skipping classes to make out in the astronomy tower or go to Muggle rock concerts and shopping malls.

And don't mind the fact that there are no Muggle shopping malls or concerts anywhere in the vicinity of Hogwarts. And heck, throw in a couple American stores for good measure. No one will suspect a thing.

[LittleStevieHorseAndPhone]

Muggle Studies is the class where you blow up batteries in the microwave and conduct other dangerous, unsupervised experiments with Muggle technology. Who needs to study Muggle art and literature?

[thranduilien]

ƒιяε has a short attention span



╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
it's perfectly fine to have your cellphone
ringing in the middle of professor flitwick's class.
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯




Now what were ӌσυ saying?

[Tsundere Succubus]

priuses

If your main character does not have ten students, four adults, and three hippogriffs lusting after him/her at all times, he/she is just not good enough.

rofl

[Tsundere Succubus]

God, I love you all already.

[Tsundere Succubus]

Queen Lily Bee

Remember, Slytherin is where all the cool kids who shop at Hot Topic are sorted and only goody two shoes dorks get sorted into Gryffindor. And forget about Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff; despite the fact that plenty of important characters like Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory were members of those houses in canon, in reality those houses are completely meaningless and for the sake of your fic you can pretend they don't exist.

Draco is not a spoiled, self-centered prat who looks down on Squibs and Muggle-born people because he is from a "pure" wizard family. He's a misunderstood loner with a sensitive soul who will totally come around when your OC offers him kindness and possibly romance.

Same thing for Snape. Dial his Woobie factor up to eleven and act like he's dripping with sex appeal. He doesn't have a long, beaky nose or greasy hair or an icy personality.

The story is totally not set in the UK. Making the characters say random Japanese words or American slang is not OOC at all.

Hogwarts does not have any magic around it that prevents Muggle technology from working there. If your characters want to carry cell phones, gaming devices, or iPods, it's completely canon and acceptable. It's also par for the course for wizards to travel in flying cars. The car in Chamber of Secrets was not just a device concocted by Muggle Studies enthusiast Arthur Weasley.

Will think of more soon! heart

To be fair, Draco is sensitive and misunderstood...Remember when he cried and talked to Moaning Myrtle? The rest were funny.

[xXForever ForneverXx]

After every intimate encounter between any of your characters have them wave their wand and clean up the mess because why take a shower or change your sheets when you have a wand.

Also, transfigure everything. Need a bottle of heated lube? That couch will work wonders.

[Wolfgang The Zebra]

lol