I think you have established your characters well, reminds me of Matthew Riley's books from the way the characters are shown. I would just suggest having a little more interest and hook to keep the viewers reading. So far it seems a little plain because of all the conversation so I think it would benefit from being written a little less novel-like and more like a comic script.
Thanks so much for the input!
I think that part of the reason for all the talking is just because I want to get more of the character's personalities out in this one, though you're absolutely correct, there isn't a ton of action to hook in new readers. I am actually in the middle of writing a second script that takes place in a more populated area and involves some more action than this one.
There is hope yet my friend. biggrin
I still sort of want to do this, yet in a way I feel I'm really an amateur at making comics. D: I know it seems silly, but I dunno, the other people on this thread seem more knowledgeable about comic'ing in general. Especially that IronSpike fellow. He/she/it scares me. gonk