Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023| Reminder 2024]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.1%	[ 803 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 138 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.5%	[ 152 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.2%	[ 116 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.0%	[ 276 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.7%	[ 267 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 169 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	3.0%	[ 82 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	27.3%	[ 752 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2755 ]

[Mado Kureo]

so... just watched the process of birthing.

can i just not have a ******** kid?
wow, talk about pressure. everyone knows i'd
be a weird parent but they don't care because
they want more babies, and i am a woman. girl.
not-girl-not-woman-not-anything-thing.

can i be a man instead? i wouldn't mind. i tried
when i was a kid and it didn't work, so maybe
now i can just have surgery and wah-lah...

or not. /:

[Jemnu]

I should reach for anything I want without you.
You're holding me back again.

God, everyone is.

Why am I staying like this?

[Jemnu]

in the end, maybe it's better if you are busy.
maybe i shouldn't be doing this.

[ChipLizard]

I have more gold on this account than I ever had on my old one.
I'm a little spun out to see almost 1 billion.
----------------
Is it so bad that I just want to hear a friendly voice?
One who doesn't want anything from me?

[Smoking Daffodils]

I'm falling into bad habits again
I'm not sure how to deal with them this time around.

I'm finding more things to numb myself
to pretend that I'm not stressing out or freaking out

and why?

just because of work...this one time about work
normally I couldn't care less about my job stressing me out
but with moving my job becomes most of my life again

being alone means I can work like I wanted to before

I just can't find the words for my graphics so I can get back to work

-----------------------------------------

I'm sad I missed you this morning.
I even went to bed before I was actually tired
so I could talk to you before you had to go
but I over slept

and my dream
that was just
interesting.

[ChipLizard]

And I'm STILL getting the creepy stalker calls.
At least I don't hear my phone ring for them.
All hail blocking unknown calls!

[Smoking Daffodils]

part me woke up expecting to roll over and wrap my arms around you.
I know it's not possible though
not yet

[Jemnu]

I need to do this already.

[Smoking Daffodils]

I'm not pregnant...
I know damn ******** well I'm not pregnant

lactating for no ******** reason
am I just broken?

I'm half thinking this is a mental thing from stress but omfg
it's ridiculous

I already know what my mom will say if I ask her about it
"Are you sure you arent knocked up"
because you know I totally sleep around :/

I just
I can't figure out what to do
dr bills aren't exactly something I can take on right now
I'm still paying off the one from when my IUD lodged into my cervix less than two months after I had it implanted
not even two months after I had my forceful abortion for my lost child and yet again someone is ******** with my cervix...and now this

I just can't
I can't do this right now

I can't handle this
I don't want to handle this

[ChipLizard]

It's hard to talk when you don't know what's wrong.
It's hard to reach out when all you remember is being burned.
It's hard to change when the world doesn't want you to.
It's hard to fight when the fight is against yourself.
It's hard to find a way when your will is gone.

[Suicide Salvation]

I want Cheeto's, and I can't have them for another week....

[Sandruhh]

So unbelievably tired all the time lately.idk what's wrong with me.>< All I want to do is sleep.

[Sandruhh]

I feel as if I'm half asleep right now, I keep having more moments where I'm not sure If I'm awake or asleep. lol. I think I'm losing it. rofl

[Funeral sw1m]

It's a good thing I deleted those text posts before sending that anon to her ask on tumblr


: | why'd I even do that?? Idk but I'm just going to pretend I never sent it and everything will be cool, haha.

- - -

My soul's been hurting lately

It makes sense but. . I really haven't felt this sad for such an extended period of time before. . It's brutal, absolutely brutal.

[Mado Kureo]

i need.. health. mental health. physical health. i need to be healthy.

i'm too unhealthy to find the motivation haha.