[EDEL PRP] Sooner or Later (Endi/Creation/Aris?)

[Edelsteine]

"A good question. Though in speaking of the Before, then even I was not as I am now. I was neither Harmodius, nor Origin and Gehenna. There was ....for lack of better words...Chaos. It was Nothing and Everything. Infinite Possibility and ending of possibility. There was nothing as you understand it in this from of Being. There wasn't a difference of Silence and Noise. These were possibilities. Ideas, ones and wholly belonging to that...Chaos. You could say it ...Felt. I felt. Needed to bring about a Being of those infinite possibilities, needed to see not just potential but actualized. "

[Syrie]

'Ah, that explains why I would not recall Being during that time.' He nodded, listening as Creation spoke; the subject was endlessly fascinating to him - not only for the historical aspect, but because it was something that added to what he knew - and Gianfar would like that. 'And so there were shapes and forms...and soon, the Firstborne came to be, correct? The Library holds many interesting books with information, I saw some of it before...well, before I went hunting my Forest. The girl, Idhren, she helped direct my search...but there was much distracting information I could not but help skim and read. Though I may not recall it quite accurately.'

He- It felt. The thought of Him there, alone in Nothing...was saddening to Endiovar; he of all the gods understood being alone. Perhaps Sorrow would have known more...but he still got it. 'It must have been terribly lonely Before.'

[Edelsteine]

"Well now... "

That was something he had not thought about in a long time. Not since the first gifts given to the great host of their children and children's children's children. So Simple....was it lonely Before?

"Yes. It was lonely in the Before. As the hollow of the seed was first formed and there We saw before us such perfection, heard such song. Heard Other then Ourselves. We knew Self, as we knew Her. We Became. But Loneliness came in being Without. Pariah...denied and ostracized. Unwanted."

"But of what matter should such a thing be? It is a catalyst, a reason, and a method to understand what had come before, but not now. There are Many now. Gods, Servants, kine, chattel, and the dead. What is solitude of Before to this that stands now? That stood the Fade? That beats within and without still of this Chaos? It is not gone or ended, truth, but it is not Alone.

"At least...not in the same way. "

[Syrie]

Silence watched as Creation's aspect dimmed, darkened; Destruction sliding tendrils of pain and loss and hurt at being without, being alone forward, tainting Creation's perfect form. It was unexpected, but not alarming. There had been so much time...He had spent countless stretches of time - before there was Time to be - without company, without love, compassion or care. It was no wonder that returning to those memories brought Destruction's aspect into Creation, none at all.

His fingers itched to reach out, to touch the darkened flesh and to smooth away the frown that held court on His face. Oh yes, it was more than enough to wound to the quick - and that did not count the time during and after the Fading! Pale brows knit in a worried frown; what heart and mind could hold hurts that deep without some succor? Hands to hold and comfort, hands to help and heal - hands much like Creation's, but not His own.

Shy he was not, so taking Creation's hand in his own to reassure, to soothe, seemed natural. A gift from host, changing one that would be alone, untouched into one that knew just how healing a simple touche could be. 'Even when gains come from loss and reason abounds, there is import when the hurt remains - outward in aspect or wholly turned inward.' Endiovar paused and squeezed the pale hand he held in his grasp, "To say there are many now to lessen the measure in the lack of Before..." He shook his head; words came clumsy or not at all but even then they brought hush and murmur to mind and heart.

"Even a paper-cut wounds and bleeds into memory, my Lord." His comment on being Alone in a differing way brought a twitch of wing from Silence, he understood very well being alone in a crowd, alienated. Harmodius' position afforded him great reverence, love and respect - but it was filial love, wasn't it? Not the kind of love one recieved from one's helpmate, one's partner, save that both offered devotion and respect. Was that the difference? Endi supposed it well could be...especially as Creation had mentioned "Her". The Empress! Where was she, this beautiful song that had brought Him to Become?

'Being worshipped or revered...is not the same as being Loved...that is the difference, is it not? Before and now again, being without Your Empress?' It didn't occurr to him (or if it did, it was as fleeting as mortal lives could be) that he should likely leave well enough alone and cease digging into old wounds that still bled - another "gift" from his former host - a more dubious gift than empathy, to be certain.

[Edelsteine]

"Kishara is much changed, wounded and uncertain, lost in herself....lost in the vastness of herself. I find that I return often to how lost Lucius was. Perhaps the Prime Elements...those greatest and most vast...they could not be healed by being reborn , could not be restitched with mortal thread into something new and wondrous. The process in both cases seems to have Lost them, driven whatever memory was left in them ...Mad."

"For Universe the knife sped outwards, sought a focus and a victim. Gaia has receded, in contrast. Mother has removed from her children out of ....self preservation? Fear to come to love them again and unable to face their inevitable death and return to her bosom as once she did? Saddened and mourned before, yes, but never was she paralyzed by the cycles. The seasons...she wore them well, red berries in winter and bright white pink blooms in spring. "

"But what few words we uttered in converse were....distant and strained. I thought I should allow her space. Perhaps in this life she will wish a different love, or none at all. I am...estranged by the ages. She is now coiled by a mortal girl's sacrifice and offering to her resurrection. Or that ....Aislin. I could not tell wholly if that would have developed into more, should the child have been less than one marked to the Calling. Her bitterness of the loss spoke to the possibility. "

"Truly the imbalance of love must be known to you, and its weights on the heart. So blessed and caught up in the arms of Knowledge and Dream both. I wonder that you have time to be a foot and not abed. It was gentle teasing and a slow redirection of conversation both.

[Syrie]

He listened carefully and felt a pang inside him - perhaps once he had not been such a sympathetic God, turning a deaf ear to atrocities commited...but no longer. And while there were still atrocities commited in silence (or would be if there were more mortals around to screw things up by throwing their 'freak flags' around), he no longer just ignored them and went about his merry way. Silence could be oppressive and cause harm if necessary...and he could do that. Not often, but at least once or twice.

'It's difficult for some, I understand...but that is unfortunate for Universe and Gaia. Doubly so for Yourself.' In all seriousness, it was even more worrisome to think that Creation felt such loss and pain for his 'family' now reborn but so estranged. 'Perhaps she couldn't get past the fear of not being...enough. Being your helpmate can only be a daunting task to one reborn to it with all the host's insecurities and anxieties. A pity, but perhaps a more suitable match is to be found outside of Gaia's trembling limbs.' As for Aislin...well, all the blond god could do was shift his frame into something yeilding yet supportive; listening and allowing the Eldest to speak of potential loves lost without insulting Him with pity.

"Yes, I do." Endiovar's lashes lowered and his expression briefly touched with sadness. Though he had not been the one to "lose" the now-deceased mortal actor Adrian Grey nor Dagny's chosen host, Illario - he felt the losses keenly. A void left by them, a void left by Universe's demise...voids filled in part - in some ways - by Knowledge and Dream. The teasing from Creation brought a slight pinking to his cheeks and also a wide smile. 'Ah, but even Dream must rest...and Gianfar becomes lost in his tomes...even I cannot laze in bed all of the time.'

Creation would get a bit of a wing-poke for his teasing; good-natured and wholly in fun. "Besides, who else but I should be sitting here in idle conversation with You?" The idea of Silence chatting up anyone was a delicious irony.

[Edelsteine]

"I wonder that. Followers should be present, recording for posterity so many words chained together...much learning and meditation, for centuries to come, garnered from 'Yes, I do' "

Though may there not be wisdom before there as well. I have not called Kishara again to my side lest it be too much burden, myself too...apart for her desire or care of comprehension. I have called and raised none to the station.

The words came as a whisper under-breath, puzzled and fell drowned to the fountain's cadence, " Still and imperfect the balance lies, one half in tentative converse, the other unbound. Where lies Bravery, Valiance, where lies even Pride if these heroic aspects do not divine to inspire all the Children."

"How did you court your fine doves, Silence? I cannot imagine with many words. " With Aris there was little yet, still new eyed to life and learning of the world into which he was brought. His self-assurance and air of entitlement were missing. "My...knowledge is antiquated or confused over eons of mortal study."

[Syrie]

Three simple words that held the power to bind heart and soul and mind; two beings united by the depth and breadth of emotions beating so ceaselessly within their breasts into one. Unified. Strengthened. Tempered like finest steel.

At least, that had been the point and the hope. Whether or not this forged connection withstood trials and tribulations was entirely up to the involved parties and much had proved capable of ending such things. Marriage. Divorce. Hand in hand they went, should one's emotions curdle and turn - mortal, immortal or other: none were truly exempt from such failings.

Endiovar's head tilted as a wash of not-words brushed against his being, feather-light and as ephemeral as mist. 'Troubling, to be unfufilled, unravelled - but a trouble I cannot but imagine will last overly long. We all love You...surely more than one among us feels the tugging of heart and mind to bring You into welcoming arms, to be a helpmate as once stood at Your.' Unspoken words touched with love, respect and even worry seasoned to them; Silence knew that Aris couldn't be the only being that would have thrilled to stand at Creation's side! After all, had he himself not felt that gentle swell of affection and love that went beyond shades of platonic? Had not Colin?

'With very few words, truly.' He smiled, remembering how he and Revei had grown from friendship to love. Dream had needed him, desperately so, after trying to reach the primitive being within the Chrysalis not overly long past. And Gianfar, after! Initially it had been a quiet love between he and Revei and Gianfar and Revei - but that had changed slowly; they were well matched, all three. Did Knowledge and Dream ever exist without the gentle, steadying touch of Silence? To have rediscovered each other, to have love grow between...it had happened so naturally - how to explain?

'With touch, care and support. I offered of myself without holding back, without expecting anything in return.' No, no, no. It wasn't coming out right! Silence could be good with words and not-words, but now his tongue was struck stupid, clumsy. Oh, but there! He had just given Endiovar the key to what might be holding Creation back with his courtship of Aris and, perhaps Gaia. "Knowledge does not play as large a part in courtship as most believe, my Lord. Certainly it has a place, but..." He reached out to place a hand lightly on Creation's chest, over his heart. "You feel it here first. The need to touch, to act...to reach out and comfort, to hold...to support without once expecting to get a return."

[Edelsteine]

"Your advice is to do what I already endeavor to ? "

Well, then all there is left to do is force two halves to be one before balance even is achieved. Balance before balance....a fine paradox We sit in.

Rhythm at least was now steady beneath flesh of hand and chest, rhythm that echoed further then hearing into the echoing hearts and breath of all things. He smiled gently, " The difference must be intent then, as never have I done so with intent of courtship, rather then care as the God that I am. Long ago was forgotten the actions of intent outside of responsibility as ...the Twin Crown. As a God, rather then a being."

"You describe what poets recall, that there should be some spark already...some catch that draw my eye as once it was for Her. For Him. Aris still is fair, and he does catch what is red as blood, whether he will or no yet. As for blue? "

Difference in admiration of Father and that of Lover. He had known it once. Yet all about him were so young, still growing and in need of a hand that nurtured rather then which sought help.

"They are lucky and must cherish in you their finest hours, Endiovar. "

[Syrie]

He nodded simply - what more advice could he give? The writ and recital of sonnets? One had only to look around with open eyes and see Creation's poetry, to feel the enormity of His Gift to each and to All. 'I have not been so much one courting as I have been the one courted...but even so, there is little I can add to what is already being done.' He dropped his hand from Creation's chest, the strong thrum of His heart vibrating through his fingers, his soul even after. "That care, so freely given, is felt by Aris, by Gaia...by mortal and immortal. From each blade of grass to the most Exalted among us, oh yes - of that I am sure...but you are more than just our Crown, our Lord." 'As for blue...should Gaia be unable to return your affections, to be proper helpmate, perhaps another would suit? Or in your heart must she be Your Empress?'

Endiovar didn't think so, but if Creation had 'set his cap' on Gaia (so to speak) then there was much more needing care than simply 'affection'.

'As I cherish them.' Silence touched his fingers to his own breast, eyes bright, 'When together, then gnawing emptiness left yet behind seems to dissipate, to fill. I believe I am the lucky one.' "That is, until Gianfar wishes to work in peace. Then he is the lucky one, that I can bring him rooms without sound." The blond's body leaned to one side, fingers dropping down to touch the surface of the fountain idly; in his mind something had occured to him with Creation's talk of red and blue. "Aris is for Destruction's heart, isn't he?" Silence watched his companion and once more felt the urge to rise up and put his arms around Creation, to enfold Him in his wings, to reassure that all would be well. A strange compulsion for the god he once was, but not for the god he was now; comforting came easily, naturally to Endi - Creation's status was of no matter in this.

[Edelsteine]

"Ah....you guess shrewdly at what once was known to all...if not often spoken of for propriety.... "

But have I not opened that door in questions of courting already?

Creation nodded slowly, " One being at all times, and at all time apart...the Twin Crown. One mind and separate. Aristogeiton is not my lover, nor would I wish it of him. His place in the Balance was as the Crowned Mortal...the creation brought to pinnacle. Mortal kind can Create only in small ways, in ideas, but they can Destroy with great mastery. The place he took aforetie was just so, Master of Destruction....as that should entail other images....to your mind. They are.... correct. It is in the purpose of mortalkind that they strive in founded and unfounded will and pride. He earned what was his due, tamed Destruction to his lips. "

"But..it is not my nature to enact or require these same necessities for balance within my aspect. So my mate was otherwise...would be...otherwise still. "

He certainly required neither 'taming' nor 'binding', such as the Manacles may preclude outside of Gehenna.

[Syrie]

Yes, of course he had - but in his puzzling Endiovar could be as careless at remembering what he should as any child. Focus on the larger 'problem' and ignore the details...or something like that. Whatever his reasoning for backtracking mentally (Player Stupidity?), Endiovar nodded and tried to not look sheepish for having asked yet again.

'Ah, well.' Now that made sense, in an odd way - at the very least, that explained why the Manacles had existed in the first place! Still, what a thought: the imposing, terrible Destruction being into bondage (not surprising at all) and needing to be dominated (quite surprising). Naturally, it made sense when he thought about it further: Creation was very together. He didn't need guidance, he needed precisely what Silence had said: he needed a helpmate, a companion. 'What interesting images, courtesy of curious mind and borrowed memories. Destruction...called to heel and happily bound by a mortal.'

Silence shook his head a little bit and flicked the water again to watch his reflection dance and distort. "You need a helpmate, my Lord. Support, other than your loyal Dragon King." Without thinking he continued in that soft, church-hushed voice, "I wonder but that I could help..."

[Edelsteine]

"This I know....I do not dare think that matchmaking would be any more successful for me then for what I once hoped could come from Love for Kishara's heart-healing. i set him the task once, to find her solace. "

"You're welcome to try a hand at it if you wish, other then that...I cannot imagine far into what help could be found. I am useless..." He shrugged, feint of defeat mixed of genuine amusement and sorrow.

"In some feudal societies of mortal fashion, it was vassals that courted for their sovereigns abroad, carrying paintings to be viewed and entertaining at dance, cards and music for their prospective matches to their lord. Or did you have something other in mind for your wonderings?"

[Syrie]

Well now, if Love couldn't help Kishara turn her heart toward Creation...but then, Endiovar wasn't considering the once-Empress reborn for Creation's lovematch, oh no. If she could not bring herself to find strength within to stand at His side, no one could. 'One can only be helped when one is willing to help themselves. It is a pity she could not rise to meet you.'

Creation's depreciative remark brought Endi's spine straight as he sat there; narrow-eyed attention wholly on the multi-hued god before him. Spoken in partial jest, the phrase - the thought was abhorrent to Endiovar; he could not remain seated, still.

"Hardly!" His wings shimmered, feathers poofing out with aggitation and the outrage Silence felt - Creation? Useless!? Up he went, onto silent feet, fabric of cloth sliding without sound as he paced before the fountain and his companion.

'I hold no interest in useless gods past myself. All around us Is because of You - perhaps that is too much for Kishara, but if it's not too much for me, it cannot be too much for everyone that might appeal.' Did he have something in mind? Maybe a nice hard shake for Creation - and a harder one for Kishara, who's inability had borne offensive words from His mouth. Purling fountain water was a sound that calmed, even one agitated as Endiovar was; his movements went from sharp and annoyed to a softer set as he contemplated what to do. Thoughts flowered and died quickly, Endi dismissing them as ridiculous or stupid - would he have wanted something so...overdone?

Silence paused, facing Creation, "Can you tell me, my Lord, if any have caught your heart even the smallest bit? Or what qualities you desire most? A starting point, as it were...?" A small voice in the back of his mind whispered 'If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!' Ha!

[Edelsteine]

As much as had been truly meant of the feelings and thought in their converse, he had not expected to actually earn himself a matchmaker with consultation in the very moment. Creation blinked mutely at the pacing outrage, even as it cooled, then covered his mouth with a hand as the inquiry was made.

My...preference? Oh dear.

"Well...that is forward information. Where should I start? I...cannot say I have ...looked amorously at any that walk again. I prefer an immortal lover. "


His thoughts strayed to the human stores and their magazines that moldered on racks, professing secrets of success in Love and making love, perfect ratios to achieve and measurements to strive for. Did these things matter to those who had dynamic shape? To him, who could be all and any shape? Not so much. Well then, that didn't offer much. How about personality? That was something more definable about their kind.


"I do not prefer the demure, the uncertain, or the childish. "