of... ✕
Hikari mumbled something to herself hearing voices that she knew weren't hers, she had been staring at the wall for hours, there was no clocks or windows in the room, her sense of time was gone. All she knew in this room was the TV that kaspir had put in when she first came here. But every time she turned it on hoping to see something, anything that would be a sign of life outside the institution, was lost to the static and white noise. Was it some kind of trick? She could hear voices coming from it, and laughter. She could see children playing outside and running up to their parents and hugging them, or maybe she was just insane. As she heard footsteps walk past her room, she felt a shiver go up her spine, she could already feel the needle piercing her skin. The drugs taking their intoxicating effect on her. Although she wasn't afraid of many of the doctors or nurses as much as she was of Kaspir, she would often be paired up with two or more doctors and nurses when there was an...Interesting day. Last time she had been strapped down onto a slab next to someone else, she didn't remember. She didn't wake until..Who knows how many days later. All she remembered was that they laughed and taunted her, clutched at her ankles as she tried to run away. She couldn't get away. It was only by the grace of the drugs finishing their course that she woke up again. But she wouldn't mind if she didn't wake up at all. She had contemplated what it would be like to take her own life, but she couldn't do it, she had tried so many times to wrap her bed sheet around her neck and hang herself. But she would be sent to those demons.
"Suicide is a sin." Hikari reminded herself. She would dive into a never ending dream, being drowned and burned by the fires of hell as those demons whispered things to her. That would be a worse hell then this institution.
she glared over at her unopened door, waiting for someone, anybody to come through there. Many doctors had come through, Kaspir, Alex, Seger, and even more nurses. She had been able to creep all of them out at least slightly enough, but these were different freak's. Far different from sinners like her. They were fascinated with her, and all of her fear's like they were some kind of cruel game that was being played in her head and they had the controllers.
Why couldn't she of stayed at that mansion? Even if Alexandria would have....
"Isabella..." Hikari whispered her adoptive sisters name. Did she think of Hikari? Probably not. Was she just as crazy as her? Probably. Isabella had been put through the same thing that Hikari had been through....Or had she? Hikari had shoved many memories of her adoptive parents into the back of her mind, whenever she tried to think back to the past her mind always came up with blanks, maybe Isabella had been treated well and Hikari different because she was a sinner. Hikari looked up and stared at the ceiling for awhile as if trying to gather her thoughts, but when she opened her mouth to speak her thoughts something completely different came out.
"What will you do to me today?" Hikari whispered into the air, She wished she could have a nice doctor or nurse, at least someone who cared about their patients. But Kaspir had a cold stare, a mocking voice, and no one could protect her from him. Perhaps this was her punishment for being a sinner. This is the punishment for not letting out the sin everyday like she was supposed to. If she could only find something sharp...She looked down at herself and saw the many scar's that riddled her legs, wrists, arms, and chest from where she had cut herself, she used anything she could get her hands on, glass, razors, or if she could sharpen something she would use that. Hikari looked over to the door that was in the back of her room, It was the day room, but Hikari hadnt been allowed out of there since her last "episode." Or maybe the door was unlocked and she could...Hikari shook her head.
"There are sinners out there." she almost hissed the words. She would have to be dragged out into the day room, which Hikari was sure Kaspir would do in an instant. Or worse and bring the sinners to her...But they were already all around her, the footsteps never ended. The voices never stopped talking to her. Would she have another "episode?" She heard whispers from the other doctors and nurses on how she would go into a religious fervor for days on end, and it would creep everyone out. And no one knew how to stop it, not even Kaspir.
"I have to let out the sin... Hikari thought out loud. If she could just do that...Then she wouldn't have another episode. Or that's what she kept telling herself. But she didn't want to get in trouble, she didn't want to feel water hitting her face, it felt like acid on her skin just like that holy water.
"Because I'm a sinner... Hikari continued to be lost in her own thoughts, completely checked out of reality.
I am your nightmare..