And of how it passes
And they told me to beware
“For memories will
Betray you, Son
And all will be changed here”
With my little cousins
Out in the yard
For hours we would play
Now time has passed
And I know them not
For we’ve gone our separate ways
Now I stand out here
In the evening sun
And I feel the summer breeze
And it blows warm
Across my face
And helps set my soul at ease
And yet still I see
The rustic remains
Of what life use to be
In my soul I wish
That for just one night
Time would bring it all back to me
The little games
We played as kids
We thought it would always last
Deep in my heart
I ask the clock
Why did the years go so fast
Well, my Mom and Dad
They are changed too
Time has taken them apart
And as their marriage died
Deep inside of me
Died a little piece of my own heart
In the little town
Where I ran around
With my friends in search of fun
There is no one left
That I once knew
They’ve grown up and they’ve all gone
In the town where I once
Knew everyone
So very few have remained
And I can’t help but wonder
Wherever they are
If they’re feeling the same pain
I look around me now
I see the old place
And what the years have done to it
And as I think of all
The years yet to come
Inside, I must tremble a bit
For I can’t help but wonder
As time goes on
And as age changes its face
When I come back home
In another time
Will I still recognize the old place?
Will time change it so
That these old hills
And all that is around
Seems strange to me
Will I think of it
As just another little town
And all of us kids
When school was cancelled
Would ride sleds across the snow
As I look around
I ask myself
Where did all those children go?
Are they lost in time
Are they gone for good
Why must we all grow old
If I shed a tear
For the children gone
Would it be considered too bold
Time has taken us all
So very far away
From each other and from our home
And rarely we return
To see one another
And the hills we use to roam
And I wonder why
When I left this place
In my heart I felt so glad
Only to return
After years had passed
And in my heart to feel so sad
But as much as things
May change with time
As it has changed from the start
This home of mine
Will always have
A very special place in my heart
And when all is lost
When all have died
Or when they’ve all left me
I’ll look up to the Heavens
And say “Thank you, Lord
For giving me…My memories”
number of view: 322
Joseph Alan | Monday, March 15th, 2010
Poem Types:Long
| 1 Comment »
An Echo From the Past
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Tonight I’ve heard
A memory
An echo from the past
It’s now but just
A tiny glow
The flame no longer lasts
I’ve heard it once
Some years ago
The time I do not know
And now it’s echoed
Back at me
After I have grown so old
A memory
Of happy times
Comes out from inner space
I’m sure that all
‘Twas in this room
Could see it in my face
My heart was filled
With such a joy
But then so quickly gone
That though this room
Was overfilled
Its occupants where but one
For just a moment
I was there
Just I from wall to wall
And though these people
Are my friends
I know them not at all
My story is somewhat
Of a simple one
Of it I’m sure you know
I was born here
In this small town
And slowly I did grow
And now my mind
Begins to recall
Memories from throughout the years
And I fight myself
So very hard
To try to hold back the tears
I recall the days
Of summer youth
And of running in the sun
Of chasing girls
Pulling ponytails
And staying up ‘til One
The swimming hole
And climbing trees
Of playing Kick the Can
Of playing House
And tire swings
And my best friend named Stan
I recall a shanty
Old run down home
Sitting by a dusty road
It’s where I lived
A lifetime ago
When I was just a boy
The house we had built
Painted a rustic picture
Set deep in a pine wood glade
My mind recalls
The years spent there
And the memories that were made
But summer games
Can be played no more
There is no yelling and no cheers
No Fourth of July
No fireworks
Just an old man with eyes of tears
For that little boy
He is no more
He’s died and gone away
For time brings age
And a man is born
From the boy of yesterday
And when the man is born
The boy must die
Oh, in his heart it still remains
But he can not run
And jump and shout
And pitch rocks against window pains
And now a memory
Of a Christmas Day
Comes out from within my brain
‘Twas the only Christmas
I can recall
Upon which…it rained
I recall the look
On my Mothers face
And look of hope and yet despair
For looking under-
Neath the tree
You could not see much there
It was a hard year
For my Parents
A year of hard work and of tries
I recall my Mother
Looking for a sign
In each of her little eyes
Well, my Mother looked
As if she had died
And in spirit she had indeed
She wanted to make this
A happy day
For her children so in need
And she wanted to tell us
That it was not the gifts
But the love we shared that day
She wanted to hold us
In her arms and cry
But my Mother knew not the way
So she held it back
She painted on a smile
But her eyes just could not hide
The wonderful love
The terrible fear
And how hard she cried inside
She was so afraid
The gifts we had
Would not be loved by each of us
Afraid that we’d feel sad
That we’d feel as if
She had violated our trust
But the little presents
That we had
One another for to give
We loved them so
I’ll not forget
In as long as I might live
And looking back now
On that Christmas day
One thing is clear to me
The greatest gift
I’ve yet received
Was love, beneath the tree
Well, I go back home now
When I can
And I see the empty place
Then I hear the voice
Of everyone
Coming out from inner space
I stand there in
The empty rooms
And I stare at faded walls
I see the ghosts
Of years gone by
And I hear the hallowed calls
They call me back
To a time gone by
And generations that are gone
They ran a race
That most call “time”
In the end the clock had won
Then I see the faces
Of yesteryears
Of family members that are no more
They’ve left this Earth
And they’ve sailed away
To a far and distant shore
And it hurts me so
That they’re all gone
With them I can no longer be
Now I’m all alone
Here in the room
With strangers surrounding me
And now a memory
Of a woman’s laugh
So heartfelt and so gay
My mind tells me
I heard that laugh
Upon…my wedding day
After times of laugh
And times of love
Times of hard work and of tears
I wonder why
I most recall
Her laugh after all these years
We shared a life
Of good and bad
We lived it side by side
And we loved each other
All the more
As we began our downhill slide
To my sweet wife
Whom I have known
And have loved so many years
I lay my head back
And I rest
On a pillow filled with tears
It’s filled with tears
Which I have cried
On many a lonely night
And as I lie there
In the dark
I hold my pillow tight
Your sparkling eyes
Your flowing hair
I never saw it turn to snow
I lie awake each night
And I ask the Lord
Why did she have to go?
You left me
Many years ago
The choice was not your own
The Lord he called
Upon you, my Dear
But I’ve seen Grandchildren grown
In this cruel world
I now feel
So old and so alone
And perhaps that’s why
I have been placed
Here, in this nursing home
Well, some say birthdays
Are not for joy
Perhaps this is true I see
And that is why
They were all here today
For this was such a day for me
And I looked down and saw
Those tiny faces
All gathered around me
And I know what the future
Will hold for them
For it is my history
They’ll live and love
They’ll laugh and cry
They will live it day by day
And they’ll seldom feel it
As it slowly
Begins to slip away
Is this to be the woe
Of this old man’s life
To have such a perfect blend
Then to have his past
Catch up with him
To die lonely in…the end
number of view: 160
Joseph Alan | Monday, March 15th, 2010
Poem Types:Long
| No Comments »
Dark Shadows
3
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The hardships that
My life has brought
Don’t mean that much to me
They are but things
Which helped define
The man I’ve grown to be
Without the good
I would not be
The person I am now
Without the bad
I know my heart
Would be different somehow
As I sit here now
I take a glimpse
And reflect upon my days
I see the things
Which most stand out
That I’ve known along the way
I see my youth
A little boy
Running in the summer sun
A Dark Shadow
Stood over me
Yet still the days were fun
No child should live
Their days in fear
Of having to come home
They should never have
That constant dread
Wherever they may roam
Some inner rage
Filled him inside
Which I always could see
It tore his soul
I know that’s why
He said those things to me
I’ll never know
That thing inside
Or what upon him fell
But I do wish
To let him know
That I harbor him no ill
I see him now
In a hospital bed
After the stroke that he had
I know he’s trapped
In his own body
With the demons in his head
And I can’t bring forth
Great feelings of love
There’s only sorrow inside of me
There’s no great love
Of Father and Son
‘Cause he would never let it be
So I ask the Lord
To give him now
An ease to his inner strife
May he find at last
The inner peace
That was missing in his life
I’m sure he meant
No harm at all
With the names he daily gave
But what you sing
To the cradle
Can go clear to the grave
What it gave me
Was a dark cloud
On the horizon it would stay
Though I never really
Understood why
It just would not go away
An impending sense
Of dark foreboding
Or of some terrible thing
Always loomed
Out there somewhere
That’s what each day would bring
Those types of scars
They run so deep
And many years it took for me
To accept myself
And not to hate
The one in the mirror that I’d see
In early days
Riding down some street
I’d quietly wonder inside
As I saw each house
I thought to self
What secrets did they hide
Mere words can not
Express it clear
All the hurt he always gave
But it made me feel
Simply not worth
The effort took to save
For years I felt
To be worthless
My soul was such a mess
It felt as if
No one could hear
Silent cries in the darkness
Not all was great
But with the help
Of Special Ones along the way
They filled my days
With love and warmth
And kept Shadows at bay
Some of them are
No longer here
Their time on Earth was through
But the Special Ones
You still can see
Reflected in the things I do
And I miss them so
Most every day
Their efforts so worthwhile
It’s because of them
And it’s their credit
Every time I laugh or smile
Then I grew up
And left this place
Thus began my Army years
And the memories
Of the ones most dear
Helped me face my fears
So out I went
Into the World
And lived as best I could
I lived more life
Throughout those years
Than I ever thought I would
I saw great things
I felt great pains
And within its own time
I learned to quell
The voice within
This troubled heart of mine
But all those things
Came with a price
It was hard for me to pay
So many years
With my Special Ones
I’d missed along the way
I’d come back home
From time to time
To see changes in the place
A few stood out
Others subtle still
As the age crept in their face
And I’d think of all
The years I’d missed
That I never could reclaim
In my mind they’d be
Just as when I’d left
But nothing was the same
Each time I left
I wondered still
How would it be next time
How many changes
Could I endure
To those close in my mind
And so I’d leave
Just one more time
I’d leave them all behind
With a longing heart
And swallowed tears
I’d leave this home of mine
Knowing the whole time
I’d return one day
To see more changes still
I held it off
All the years I could
‘Til I no longer had the will
But the years spent gone
I think worth the price
For the changes made in self
The memories made
I’ll always treasure
As I put them on a shelf
For I learned to face
My darkest fears
To keep my own Shadows at bay
To sort things out
In the still of night
Then rise to face each day
The Dark Shadow that
Once stood over me
Held no more power in my life
For I’d learned how
To break the cycle
Of living my days in strife
Through battles fought
Out in the World
I’d found a better way
Than living life
With constant dread
And peace was here to stay
Then I had the joy
Of coming back
And knowing family once again
I’d came full circle
Back to where
My days had all began
Within just years
I lost a few
Of the ones I held so dear
But to know them again
At their end of life
Still brings my eyes to tear
They’d meant so much
To me through life
Of that I’m sure they know
‘Cause with my own words
I told them clear
Before they had to go
To give something back
To those held dear
For all they’d gave to me
While they were still here
To hear the words
From the man I’d grown to be
To see in their eyes
They knew their life
Had helped someone in pain
They’d made a difference
They’d touched a soul
And their lives were not in vain
So I sit here now
With the journey made
And my dreams that time did bend
I face the days
I hope still to come
Knowing not where it will end
And I know inside
No one in this World
Is as rich a man as Me
From the souls I’ve known
I pass it on
For I have my own family
And my deepest prayer
With quiet reverence
Is my Sons won’t have to know
What it was like for me
To spend my youth
Underneath that Dark Shadow
If I can give them
Nothing else
But a kind and gentle heart
Then the scars in me
Have been worth the price
And the turmoil that it’s wrought
‘Cause when they smile
And their eyes do shine
Every time that they laugh
To pass the gifts
Of my Special Ones
That will be my epitaph
To know they’re loved
To live not in fear
Of what today may bring
To see them live
Their youth in joy
It does make my heart sing
To know they’ll look
Back on their early days
And see good not see bad
To know their own
Dark Shadows do not
Have to be their Dad
And in this way
My Special Ones
Though gone still spread their joys
A piece of them
And the gifts they gave
Lives on in My Boys
number of view: 198
Joseph Alan | Monday, March 15th, 2010
Poem Types biggrin ad, Long, Rhyming
| 1 Comment »
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