About
Hi, I'm Emily, and I'm a complete mess. To be honest, I don't even know if I can organize my thoughts well enough to fill up my brain, let alone a page on the internet. I'm ******** up. Sixteen years gone by and I've already managed to lose who I am. Sure, it's there, and I've still got traces of my true self ... but for the most part, I'm a completely different person. Socially I have closed myself off, simply because people have proved that I cannot trust them. If I can't trust, there's no reason for any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise. Yes, I'm single, and it's because of my own choice. I need to learn how to feel good about myself without others propping me up. I miss the days when I knew how to have fun, the days when nothing could bring me down even if it tried. I miss the simple times, the times before everything had a dire consequence, the times before I depended on anyone. Just for that ... no one will ever become my everything again. Too many times have I rested all of what I am on someone and been let down in the long run. There are way too many things about myself that I hate, that I've tried to change but have just realized that it isn't possible. Being a better person is what I hope to achieve someday, but at the moment, things are looking bleak. It's strange. Usually I have such a positive outlook on life, but lately it seems that the only things I see are the negatives. You won't ever hear me say I'm depressed, though. I am proud to say that, though this was true for nearing six years, that part of my life has finally been put behind me. Despite everything, despite all of the ongoing struggles, I can honestly say that I love my life, and that's something you can never change. I speak my mind all of the time, no matter who I think I'll offend, because I'm simply an offensive person. I'm loud, obnoxious, and I'm positive within a few days of knowing me, you'll know my opinion on near everything. I am God-free, alcohol-free, and mainly drug-free. Nothing or no one will be in charge of my mind or my life, except for me. And yes, "nothing or no one" includes you. Never try to tell me who I am, what I'm about, what I should do, or anything of the sort. Just because I'm young, that doesn't mean that I don't know what I'm doing. If I wanted your help, your advice, I'd ask for it. Since I'm positive I didn't, let me do what I want. Not much of anything impresses me, and I have very high expectations. Despite what you've probably heard, I'm not a slut. I am, however, a b***h, simply because I just don't give a ******** anymore. Sum it up? You don't know me, you probably won't ever know me because I won't let you in, and you probably don't want to know me in the first place. Play with fire. You'll get burned.
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