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Report | 02/15/2009 7:16 pm

atsyrk

uggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Report | 02/15/2009 7:13 pm

atsyrk

I hate it when you degrade yourself. YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON AND I WILL SCREAM IT AT YOU UNTILL YOU GET IT THROUGH THAT HARD HEAD OF YOURS
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Report | 02/15/2009 7:05 pm

atsyrk

You're a great person Josh. Get it through your head, you aren't the terrible person you call yourself.

Report | 02/15/2009 7:02 pm

atsyrk

stop treating yourself that way. I needed a friend to tell me what to do, to care enough to yell and b***h at me and say if i wanted something to go for it. thats what i got from you, i got a boy who cares

Report | 02/15/2009 6:58 pm

atsyrk

You put a thought in my mind, that drove me to do something i would have never had the guts to do. you gave me courage. and youre not horrible, bad people just treat you that way

Report | 02/15/2009 6:55 pm

atsyrk

One person I care about in particular. You. No lie, you helped me make the decision to take the step tha ended up pulling me from near-death depression.

Report | 02/15/2009 6:51 pm

atsyrk

Yes, and I wasnt gonna make it out. I realized that if i continued I would die, but i couldnt stop myself from being depressed. Besides i wouldnt have minded death. you know what gave me the strength to take the step that pulled me through?

Report | 02/15/2009 6:48 pm

atsyrk

That sucks. I know how that is. You get to a poinmt where nothing matters anymore, you get so depressed that you sit around and hours pass by without you realizing it. Sometimes I even sat for hours with a blade pressed to my skin, willing myself to cut the pain away. But always after hours and hours I put the knife back

Report | 02/15/2009 6:42 pm

atsyrk

I hate it when I can't cover up the pain with music, even if its only for alittle while.

Report | 02/15/2009 6:41 pm

atsyrk

Sucks... and thanx

Report | 02/15/2009 6:36 pm

atsyrk

Whats up?

Report | 02/15/2009 6:34 pm

atsyrk

Hi

Report | 02/15/2009 11:28 am

Sakura no Akuma

O.O...gawd, the way you describe it, that's a horrible thing to experience. It really makes me afraid that the same thing could happen to me...and I can well see the lure of it. It's really easy to let yourself fall into that kind of misery, to not fight against it. (Or it has been for me. O_o) But then, I see my friends again, at school, and then...I become happy...even if it's just for a little while. I forget my pain, even though it always comes back, reminding me in little flashes, little painful twinges, "You're not really this happy," it whispers to me. And I feel it in myself and I realize, sadness is a choice. It's a choice to let yourself be sad. Even if being happy is forced, you have to do it. Sometimes someone will notice, they'll realize. And if they have any kindness in your heart, they'll offer to listen. Only problem is, when I get an offer to listen, I turn it down. I'm too proud, and besides, these people know me too damn well. It's a lot easier pouring out your heart to people who don't know you and don't know your mistakes, and therefore can't judge you.

...why do I ramble...? And why has this turned into a philosophical debate...?

Report | 02/15/2009 9:24 am

II Queso II

XP

Report | 02/14/2009 9:58 pm

Sakura no Akuma

Sucks about the medicine, but really, people are gullible enough. You really can make people think you've changed. I'm sure I've cried enough in class and in front of my friends to convince them that I'm depressed, but then I act so crazy and hyper that they don't believe me. Then again, the people at my school are the kind of people that convince themselves there's no bad in the world. That maybe I'm just faking it, or something. I can tell, you don't really try to hide the pain. Instead, you expose it shamelessly to the world. That's a very hard or easy thing to do, depending on the point of view. Certainly it's very brave to do. I'm too scared to show that kind of pain; I feel I have to keep that inside, though I would love nothing more than to share it with someone. However, I haven't yet met a person worthy or capable of bearing that kind of pain, truthfully. And so I keep it inside and act happy. I guess it does help that I have a terrible attention span. I've been diagnosed with ADD, though I don't believe I really have it. I just think that I don't try enough. But I do believe I have a really hard time paying attention to one thing. Consequently, I can't stay angry or sad, especially at school -- I have to pay attention to learning. At home, though, it's much easier to remain sad.
*looks at all I've written* ...wow. I can't tell if I'm a psychologist writing an essay on human emotions or a teenage kid with a gift for words...

Report | 02/14/2009 1:34 pm

II Queso II

o.e okay...

Report | 02/14/2009 9:39 am

Sakura no Akuma

I'll look at the journal, and I'm pretty sure it's okay to ask you. She told me to ask you. I asked her first what was wrong and she said, "Ask Vic." So yeah...

Report | 02/14/2009 8:22 am

II Queso II

You do >.>

Report | 02/13/2009 8:51 pm

Sakura no Akuma

Hm, I guess what happened between you and Reachi, and why you're both so depressed-ish. I have an idea but Reachi says I don't know the whole story and so I'm asking you to know the whole thing...

Report | 02/13/2009 8:06 pm

II Queso II

well mine don't have embroidery on the butt

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