We all carry these things inside that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors. They drown us out at sea...

User Image

Facebook;; X
Tumblr;; eatsh!tdollface
Sykpe;; suicidalpaper
Pesterchum;; suicidalPaper
Text me?


Sui. Female. 23. I'm currently living in Southern California at the moment, I'm hoping to very move soon... maybe Oregon or Washington? Tattoo artist/piercer in training. I recently came back to gaia after a long break. I'm a pretty friendly person in general unless if I'm in a bad mood then you don't want to be anywhere near me. I tend to snap at others and let's just say... it doesn't end well. If you pissed me off, I'm going to let you know. If you say something that I disagree with, I'm going to tell you my opinion. I'm tired of people just brushing me aside and acting like nothing I say matters. I'm not going to let others push me around anymore other then that, you don't really have to worry. Wait, I lied. If I'm not in a good mood you shouldn't speak to me at all. I might snap at you and well, let's just say, I'm a real d**k when I do that s**t and I won’t apologies afterwards. See, what I mean by me being a d**k if pissed.
I have a OCD, panic disorder and anxiety disorder which effects me on a daily basic but now, I've come to accept it's a part of who I am. Thought, it's not fun for me to deal with. I especially my OCD since it keeps me from doing things I want too. Aside from that, I have bad health as well which suck a lot. I tend to miss out on a lot things so I try my best to do the things I want to do.
The Scream by Edward Munch pretty much expresses my life, love, fear, death, and melancholia. I like different and strange things. Things people find weird, I find them interesting. My view on beauty is probably something that you think is ugly. Unlike everyone else I look at things differently which is why I'm known to be "odd" to everyone I met. Though, there are those lucky few who think I'm quite interesting.
I've had to deal with A LOT drama and I'm so tired of it. If your someone who loves drama, gtfo and never talk to me. I don't need someone who will bring drama into my life. I ended up all my irl friends and you know what, I don't give a s**t anymore. They only saw me as an "option" and I didn't want to be surrounded by people like that. Now, I rather have one good friend then a bunch of fake friends. Nor do I like people who are "fake" and only come running back to me when they need a friend. Or people who only become my friends just because they like me for my looks. IT'S ******** UP. I hate when people treat me nicely for my looks and throw me away like some doll just because I don't want to date them. I have my own feelings as well. Assholes. Seriously, I hate people like that.
Due to this, I have major trusting issues. I lost all my faith in trusting others. My trust in others is quite harder now... I don't know if there anyone who I can trust anymore. I also dislike others who push their feelings onto me. I'm not a doll. I have feelings even if I don't like to show them. Yet there are few people I found myself opening too which is scary and exciting at the same time. So don't get mad at me if I don't decide to tell you anything.
Everyone has their secrets

Things I like;; Homestuck. Adventure Time. Regular Show. DropDead. Let the Right One In, Requiem for a Dream, Poke’mon, Zombies. Girls. Boys. Craig Owens and Matt Good are my role models. I’ve met Matt Good at Warped Tour and he was a wonderful guy. He was nice enough to chat with me before he had to leave. I hope to meet Craig Owens soon. Horror movies. Austin Carlile. Texting. Cosplaying.

Dislike;; I don’t really like a lot of breakfast food, like pancakes, waffles (the food, not my cute creepy bear), bacon. Others foods I don’t like is apple sauce, pudding, tomatoes, oh and I don’t like apple juice either. I don’t like birds. Scissors. Getting attack by socks. My health. Fakes. Phone calls. Drama.

Music I love;;
Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows, Of Mice and Men, Bring me the Horizon, Architects, Woe, is Me, Sleeping with Sirens, Covette, Foster the People, Dance Gavin Dance, Falling in Reverse, Chapters, The Almost, Motionless in White, Blessthefall, The World Alive, Miss May I, In Fear and Faith, ACODA, Chiodos, Katsumoto, Attack Attack, The Casino Brawl, Cinematic Sunrise, Gorillaz, The Devil Wears Prada, Cute Is What We Aim For, Emarosa, EatmewhileImhot!, Finch, The Human Abstract, From First to Last, Hopes Dies Last, Just Surrender, Like Moths to Flames, Never Shout Never, Suicide Silence, UnderOATH (I only like their old stuff, I dislike their new stuff), We Came As Romans, 30 Seconds to Mars, and little more...

User Image

...I look up to the sky, there may be nothing there to see.
But if I don't believe in him, why would he believe in me?


Viewing 12 of 23 friends


Stay Awake I Feel to Lonely

User Image

It's a strange feeling, to think your life is going to end at some point. It's only natural that it will, of course, but usually you live your life without thinking about things like that. But I’m scared of the fate that will become mine...



Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

Goldilocks And The Wolf

Report | 07/06/2013 1:14 pm

Goldilocks And The Wolf

Happy birthday

cvnt xiii

Report | 02/14/2013 11:42 am

cvnt xiii

Not a problem.
cvnt xiii

Report | 02/13/2013 11:38 am

cvnt xiii

Your music. <3

Report | 01/19/2013 12:11 pm


Idk if i said what kind of tablet .

Wacom bamboo pen and touch .

Report | 01/19/2013 10:12 am


OH WOW :C that sounds so shitty . Hit by a car and a stolen phone :C I would be afraid of being near cars too.
I'm slightly afraid of them already from when I was young.
Them assholes :c . Yeah maybe getting your mind off of it might help you be happy.
What movie were you watching btw ? I haven't watched a movie in so long ; ~ ;

They are sorta up-beat kinda ? I can put a link ---> LINK

OWO Thank you . I got it on ebay for like 15$ . with free shipping from china.

Report | 01/18/2013 11:18 pm


:c oh . I've been mopey and junk lately cause no one ever wants to be around me or talk to me
but the last 3 days have been pretty good, people are talking to me and stuff.
It gets better C: I'm sure you will feel better soon .just gotta work things out.
Oh a new laptop neato ! . I need one lol almost everything I try to do crashes my comp.
I got a graphics tablet now so I've been practicing drawing on it.
Also I found this band " The Red Ribbon Army " that I am really getting into.
The wig is pink. and it's pretty cute my profile has a picture.

That's an "eye"-full LULZ I'M FUNNY RIGHT ? ; ___; no? oh ok . lulz?

Report | 01/18/2013 10:44 pm


Ok ~ so haiiii.
How are you . biggrin how are things going ?
Anything cool happen recently ?
Any new bands / musicians discovered ?
Or maybe you have some cool new art or something like that c: ?

Just covering my bases.

Report | 01/17/2013 9:14 pm


Woa , you're online :0 right as I'm going to bed :C . I'm sorry but I have to get to bed gonk

I'll try to get a hold of you tomorrow or in the near future <3

Report | 01/13/2013 1:43 am


hai surprised

Report | 11/23/2012 10:24 am


TV is my only option D:


User Image

Tonight, tonight
She's not alone
Can you taste the wicked in the room?


Skype; suicidalpaper