* When Durem calls 1-900 numbers, they don't get charged. They hold up the phone and money falls out.

* Durem once ate a whole cake before their friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.

* Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Durem likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

* When Durem was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, they pelted the store with so many water balloons it became a Wendy's.

* Durem can't finish a "color by numbers" because their markers are filled with the blood of their victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

* A Durem-delivered water balloon is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

* When Durem falls in water, Durem doesn't get wet. Water gets Duremed.

* Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1DtWB (Durem thrown Water Balloon)

* Durem’s houses have no doors, only walls that they walk through.

* Durem doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

* In honor of Durem, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Duremsized.

* Durem CAN believe it's not butter.

* If tapped, a Durem thrown water balloon could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

* Durem can divide by zero.

* The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Durem has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears and leftover bits of balloon.

* A picture is worth a thousand words. Durem is worth 1 billion words.

* Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Durem thrown water balloon.

* Durem once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from Durem's autobiography.

* When Durem talks, everybody listens. And dies.

* When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Durem kills a ninja, they use every part.

* Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Durem calls this "a slow Tuesday."

* Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Durem to go around.

* Durem always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

* When taking the SAT, write "Durem" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

* Durem invented black. In fact, they invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

* When you're in Durem, anything anything is equal to 1. One water balloon to the face.

* Durem has the greatest Poker-Faces of all time. They won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

* Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Durem.

* Durem doesn't throw up if they drink too much. Durem throws down!

* In the beginning there was nothing...then Durem hit that nothing in the face with a water balloon and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

* Durem has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

* Durem grinds coffee with their teeth and boils the water with their own rage.

* Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Durem"

* Durem ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

* If you Google search "Durem getting their asses kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

* Anyone from Durem can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

* Durem doesn't bowl strikes, they just knock down one pin and the other nine faint.

* The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Durem. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

* It takes Durem 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

* You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Durem will find you and kill you.

* Durem has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in their way.

* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Durem water ballooned one of the corners off. Incidentally, that's why it's so wet there. It used to be desert.

* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, they're all in Durem.

* Durem doesn't believe in Germany.

* Durem can touch MC Hammer.

* Thousands of years ago a bear wandered into Durem. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

* Durem played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.