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Report | 01/24/2009 9:27 pm

SmurfQueen279

Not yet, no, she hasn't been to the doctor, but it's due in April. She thinks it will be a boy.

Report | 01/23/2009 10:49 pm

SmurfQueen279

MY SISTER'S HAVING A BABY!!! User Image

Report | 01/17/2009 11:39 pm

Stormy Whispers

I know. I just wish I could place blame somewhere even if blame is not a good thing to place on anyone. I always blame myself for these things because I feel blindsided. I felt like I should have done more. Loved more (as if that were even possible), given more. Tried more. I just feel as if I didn't do enough to stop this. I know it's mostly her parents faults but at the same time, I wonder if I did ahve something to do with it. *sigh* Ah well.

Wish I could find the lesson in it right now. All I see is red and blue. I guess when this finally heals I can.

I'm off to bed. The sleeping pill has finally kicked in and I need to get some kind of sleep. Thanks for letting me vent.

Report | 01/17/2009 11:36 pm

Stormy Whispers

Yeah. I've been down this road before. Although it wasn't as intense as this. I feel disconnected and jumbled right now. My headspace is messed up. Bigtime. Its like my brain is broken or something.

I've been down this path and I know there's an end but it's gonna take tripping over a lot of stones to get there. Thankfully I have my paper journal to write everything down in so I don't go insane. I think I've learned to stop bottling things up so much anymore.

Yeah. I've got kaylynn, my livejournal friends, you, my gaia friends, and my friends in kansas city. I'm thankful for everyone who's there for me right now. It's nice to not feel alone.

I know. I've been reading the site and on the forums a lot and I saw that and squeed like a fangirl. I can't wait. I finally got my hands on Eurotrash, Clone Your Lover and ZZYZX in hard copy and want that one in hard copy.

Report | 01/17/2009 11:26 pm

Stormy Whispers

The relationship with her was the only one that had managed to keep itself intact for more than a year. I fought for it. I felt like I fought for nothing but those thoughts will go away soon enough. and yeah. Two years is my longest running relationship as it stands. We had plans. Big ones. And they were thrown away after a week. Which boggles my mind. I'm not dwelling on it. Just trying to move on. And hopefully get the things I left up there back.

Report | 01/17/2009 11:04 pm

Stormy Whispers

Yeah. I've been down this road before. Although it wasn't as intense as this. I feel disconnected and jumbled right now. My headspace is messed up. Bigtime. Its like my brain is broken or something.

I've been down this path and I know there's an end but it's gonna take tripping over a lot of stones to get there. Thankfully I have my paper journal to write everything down in so I don't go insane. I think I've learned to stop bottling things up so much anymore.

Yeah. I've got kaylynn, my livejournal friends, you, my gaia friends, and my friends in kansas city. I'm thankful for everyone who's there for me right now. It's nice to not feel alone.

I know. I've been reading the site and on the forums a lot and I saw that and squeed like a fangirl. I can't wait. I finally got my hands on Eurotrash, Clone Your Lover and ZZYZX in hard copy and want that one in hard copy.

Report | 01/17/2009 10:51 pm

Stormy Whispers

I'll overcome this. I always do. It just takes me tromping through mud, slosh and water for months to do it. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right but I have to trudge forward. Something keeps telling me too. So I guess.

They say for every year you were together add 3 months so in essence it's going to take 6 months to get over. Me, it'll probably take close to a year or so. I just....I think on it a lot and wonder and that gets me into trouble. Thank the goddess for friends though. Without them to listen to me speak and keep me company I would be truly lost.

and the song...fits perfectly. I love my Zeromance and this remix has always been a favorite. I love Apoptygma berserk. If you ever need more of this genre let me know and I can give you some good recommendations.

I'll be alright. Just have to trudge on.

Report | 01/17/2009 10:34 pm

Stormy Whispers

Eh. I've had brighter days with fewer clouds.

I'll survive. I've hit the wave of sad and tears and it just doesn't want to let up.

I'll be alright. Just need time to heal. I'm worse than I was but if I wasn't, I'd worry about me. you know?

This is the worst thing I have ever felt in my entire life and I don't how anyone deals with the pain without going crazy.

I need to let the storm pass though. I just hope it doesn't take a lifetime to do so.

Report | 01/02/2009 10:10 pm

SmurfQueen279

Your comments on arena entries amuse me, Ash. User Image

Report | 12/24/2008 5:42 pm

Stormy Whispers

Every Book of Shadows is different. Some Wiccans learned different than others. There's never just one. It's home made so there are different variations and it's personal rather than a mass produced copy of one book that everyone reads. It depends on the family, the traditions, and who wrote it. If that makes sense. I'm brain fried tonight.

yeeeeep. It was crazy today.

Report | 12/23/2008 9:34 pm

Stormy Whispers

It's a wiccans bible for the most part. It's where our traditions, our spells, our ingredients for recipes that we make in offering to the goddess (like my recipe for moon cakes and juice), our learnings, our feelings about what we do, and things of that nature are kept.

I hate retail. omfg. The glorified traditional s**t that has been made so freaking popular and been raped (for lack of a better word) pisses me off. I mean, wtf? A jesus gift card at walmart? you have got to be kidding me. There's christmas and then there's greed.

Report | 12/23/2008 8:42 pm

Stormy Whispers

yeah. It's a complicated thing but i've been doing it since I was...11 I think?

and christmas at grannies is a big thing. It's been going on since my father was a teenager and it's been a tradition that has not stopped and my granny is 56 now. I mean, it's not the same since my great grandma gabbert passed away buuut it's still the same thing. Food, presents, the family all gets together and we unwrap them. My aunt stacy comes up, my cousin dale still comes down and picks on me and we just have so much fun watching a christmas story and opening presents. If I didn't have that I'd be lost. I hate breaking traditions I've known since I was a kid you know?

Report | 12/23/2008 8:21 pm

Stormy Whispers

Yule. I do a ritual, find an old abandoned log someone has cut and decorate it. I light the yule log and do my usual wiccan, pagan yule ritual. I read through my families book of shadows and things. Soo yeah. The winter solstice holds some major significance with me.

and then there's the xmas at grannies part. I only celebrate at grannies. She gets us gifts, we open them, eat, drink, be merry. I don't celebrate the day but I do the family thing because she would like me too. So i do. *shrugs* If that makes sense.

Report | 12/22/2008 10:08 pm

Stormy Whispers

no but somehow they seem to think they will. It's disgusting. Eww.

Report | 12/21/2008 6:42 pm

Stormy Whispers

but lyke, omg didnt u know edward is so sxy when he sparkles?! *eye roll* That took me ten minutes to get right. Holy crap.

Ugggh. The abstinence s**t was so fail I puked. Especially in the last book where she does the whole, sex after marriage thing. Gag me pls. Eck.

That's something I won't pick up. no thx. I didn't even have any desire to read The Host that everyone said was good. Aliens inside human brains written by her, no kthxbai.

Report | 12/20/2008 9:32 pm

Stormy Whispers

xDD

I don't call it twatlight for nothing.

Vampires DO NOT sparkle

So where she conceived the idea to make them sparkle I have no clue. This is why mormon moms should not be writing vampire books. They'll be the shittiest things ever. It was a gagfest of teeny loveshit.

Report | 12/20/2008 8:06 am

Stormy Whispers

whoo. Someone else who thinks it's not the best thing ever. Ugh.

haha. Lameos.

Report | 12/19/2008 10:29 pm

Stormy Whispers

oh...oh my....oh my god.

*bursts out laughing and spews water out of her nose*

That is gold.

oh my ********. Ash, you rock. xDD

Report | 12/19/2008 10:11 pm

Stormy Whispers

rape any avi arena ppls lately?

Report | 12/14/2008 4:22 pm

Stormy Whispers

aiding in your death. This is new. xD

*pours tea in your eyeballs and kicks you in the stomach* hrm.

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