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The_fallen_Angel_Of_Death

Report | 08/19/2012 2:20 pm

The_fallen_Angel_Of_Death

Im doing good! Just moved to New York, waiting to get into a house and college. Keeping busy!
The_fallen_Angel_Of_Death

Report | 07/02/2012 5:59 pm

The_fallen_Angel_Of_Death

It has been a while hasnt it?
gabbel

Report | 01/20/2012 12:41 am

gabbel

Thank you cassie. i will totally do that! i love you! heart
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 10:36 pm

gabbel

yes of course. but it would have been better. much better. but i went back to facebook. bahaha. i couldnt last. i need people. im gonna collapse if i dont.
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 9:56 pm

gabbel

i didnt.... i wasnt thinking straight the day he wanted to break up. yesterday... i said. "i have so many questions i want to ask. but i wont push for them today" he was in a hurry, made it very aware that he was. and he had to get going. i couldnt ask. he said "hopefully in time" i think he just wants to avoid it completely and not answer anything. Cassie.... im so freaking upset! im tired of everything! i want to sleep and not wake up. tired of this reality. everything reminds me of him, and im just completely miserable! i hate this so much! im running down. im breaking. i seem strong, but im not. this is not fair. i shouldnt let him see me like this. i dont want him to think and get the benifit that i miss him alot. but i cant help it. i cant and its so freaking stupid! urgh i wanna give up. im not positive, i keep saying that im going to try. my head feels like its gonna explode. i was doing fine for the past few days. then he showed up yesterday!?!?! how the ******** is that fair?!?!?!?! how can he ditch me? ask to break up!?! then come back and just show up like nothing happen? WTF!?!?!?! i dont give a damn if you needed to return something. there is a god damn mail for that. or you would have seen my sister at school. give that to her..... he was being so freaking unfair!!!!!!
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 8:08 pm

gabbel

idk about that. i heard that shes real smart, very kind. she plays music like i do. shes in the same honor band as him. they used to talk all the time until he got into high school and i came in the picture. he picked me over her. but whose not to say that he wont go back to her? or someone else. would that other girl he choose better than me? would he think that he made the right choice in dumping me, and think that "i should have done this sooner" or think "if i had done this sooner, i would have been happier, cant believe i wasted those last two months" i dont even understand what made him unhappy! i dont even know how long he was feeling this! and i dont even know why he gave up so easily! i have so many questions, and they havent been answered. i told that to him yesterday when i say him. yeah came to my house. said that hes doing better. said that hes happy and that he feels relieved. like WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!?! relieved of me? was i that much of a burden? was i that horrible? did i really cause such unhappiness for him that he was relieve of me? was i that much of a baggage to deal with? i thought he loved me. i thought i was happy. he wrote me a letter saying "that our bond are stronger than chains" and "that i was his happiness, and angle guiding him in this sour world" that i was the pillar of his happiness. and that he loved me with the intensity of a million suns." he wrote this for me for Christmas! Were they all lies? did he really mean any of the things he said? or did he really just break up with me in just a week of a decision. in janurary, thats when he started to really change. he made a decision in just 12 days of us. he choose in 12 days to dump me. all that we have been through in two years. in just 12 days he decided that he had enough. at least that is what i think. who knows... he could have been feeling this since November. and he never once told me he was sad. i asked if he was ok. i knew something was up. he never told me. he said that "he couldnt continue to make me suffer by lying in this relationship" i wasnt suffering! i loved being with him. even the times when i was angry or sad with him. he was the only one suffering. he said he fought for my happiness, and is doing what will make me happy and him.... BULLSHIT! its only making him happy, only he feels relief. FINALLY! hes freed from an girl like me. finally he is free from someone like me. to be told by the person you love that they feel relieved......... it hurts.... more than when they say "i want to break up"
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 7:22 pm

gabbel

yup.... singles... lets reunite. it feels so weird to be single and not having the excuse of having a bf to give a guy who tries to hit on you. also... just so use to waking up to good morning texts... good night texts. "how are you texts" omg... im gonna HATE it so MUCH when he starts to like another girl. hes only liked pretty girls... the last girl he liked was really cute and pretty. and she liked him too.... he might even start to fall for her again. i hate this way way way way way WAY TO MUCH!!!
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 7:08 pm

gabbel

we should... this year im gonna hate it especially. XD
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 7:01 pm

gabbel

yeah. it sucks though sweatdrop ...... MAJORLY emo
gabbel

Report | 01/19/2012 6:44 pm

gabbel

haha its alright cassie. i wont totally disregard them. i will still keep my male friends. but if they start to flirt and or make a move on me.... closing myself off for a little. i really do hate guys flirting with me, trying to get close. im just sick of guys. there is none that i like. and they sometimes irritate me. (again not my male friends. cody, andrew, dennis, shawn. they cool) but others... urgh its annoying. never wanted to date to before. but irving, there was just something different about him. like idk, i just wanted him. he as the exception. so i will be fine. i really dont want to be in a relationship if it isnt him. and i know i may be talking different later. u may say. but i know how i am. i wont be talking like i want a bf for a real real long time. MAYBE LIKE WHEN IM 24? who knows... later?