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- 04/01/2011 5:36 pm
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- Member Since
- 01/16/2005
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- Australia
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My girl wrote this on my back for me.
This is Chino, he is not mine but he has adopted me anyway.
Isn't he the sexiest beast of a dog ISNT HE. lol this is my dog Brockus Maximus (AKA Brock)
This is Chino, he is not mine but he has adopted me anyway.
Isn't he the sexiest beast of a dog ISNT HE. lol this is my dog Brockus Maximus (AKA Brock)
DUMB THINGS PEOPLE SAID or DID DURING A JOB INTERVIEW...
(reported by Human Resource personnel):
A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fies in the interviewers office.
Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
Candidate brought large dog to interview.
Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
Candidate dozed off during interview.
The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.
"What is it that you people do at this company?"
"What is the company motto?"
"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
"Why do you want references?"
"Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
"I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
"Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
"Does your health insurance cover pets?"
"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
"Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
"Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
"Why am I here?"
I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
I feel uneasy indoors.
Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
I get excited very easily.
Once a week, I usually feel hot all over.
I am fascinated by fire.
I like tall women.
Whenever a man is with a woman he is usually thinking about sex.
People are always watching me.
If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct.
I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
I never get hungry.
I know who is responsible for most of my troubles
If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
My legs are really hairy.
I think I'm going to throw-up.
Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Reports) and from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:
A gross ignoramus = 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
A room temperature IQ.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
Fell out of the family tree.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
He's so dense, light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
One neuron short of a synapse.
One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
Takes him 10 hours to watch 60 minutes.
This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Actual quotes from Federal employee performance evaluations:
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this employee to breed.
She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.
This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
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formula_one1981's Journal
My space to express myself. If you dont like then piss off lol no only joking.My name is Jason. I plan to write about whatever i feel like. Just have a look and leave a message.
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