About
Hello Gaia. I can't really believe I'm sinking so low as to actually reveal a little about myself once again, but I guess I am. My name is Clarence Ray Dillon. A few hundred people on this site may hear that name and shrivel, or plot my death..at least wish it. So before I continue, let me tell you why. Maybe four..yes I think it's been about four or five years now. Okay back on track. About four or five years ago I was what many of you have probably been at one point in your life, at least guys. I was a horrible person to say the least, but I'm not going to end the truth telling there.
I started to like girls when I was eleven or twelve. The first one I meant, I can't even remember her name. It was on a game named Puzzle Pirates, and not many people know this..but she was Hawaiian. At such a young age, some would say I had a puppy sort of love for her. However even today I wonder how it would have been if her house hadn't caught on fire. Yes..that's right, and that's the reason I came to Gaia. Two weeks after I stopped hearing from her, I met this other girl..and she hung herself because I wouldn't talk to her before I showered. She left a note blaming me, and then her sister cursed me out. Yes, I actually know it happened.
My friend at the time, Melissa, introduced me to this site. That's where I met Paige, the girl I had come to fall in love with(note that this was about a year later, when I was almost 12). Though..my mistakes started when I started meeting people I thought I had to help. I felt guilty for that girl hanging herself, and my first girl friend dying. So right before I met Paige and fell in love with her, I got this friend named Mary. I think it was spelled that way, I can't exactly remember. She was emo..and a few months into my relationship with Paige I found out Mary cut herself.
She did it because of her boyfriend, who had..done something to her. She wouldn't tell me what or why, but..she cut herself while she was on the phone with me that night. I tried everything, called the police and tried to scream so someone there would hear. I never heard back..and then it all started to fall apart. I started to feel so guilty and started to help everyone no matter what. That led me into relationships with other girls. My best friend Stella was one of them..one I regret the most, possibly even more than Paige. Either way..within the four years that I was with Paige..I cheated on her with other girls.
There ended up being seven by the time I was done, and..I still don't know why I did it, other than I actually believed I was helping those people. In the end I only ended up hurting anyone who got close to me..and I lost all my friends. No one I know knows hardly anything about that..so I decided to make it public. I was a horrible person..and I've felt remorseful ever since it all stopped. Once I lost all my friends and it was all over..I had began to try to kill myself more. Yes..that's right, I was one of those people too. I have had so many problems in my life, and only now do I truly feel like I've felt what I made all those people feel.
I've been cheated on, dumped, even had a few girl friends do another guy. No Alyssa, I'm not talking about you. Alyssa was my latest girl friend, almost two years..but in the end it was my fault it ended. I was too clingy, and controlling because I thought she would leave me every time she went out. Over the past two years I've been reliving every single thing I did in my mind, and I lost control of my own life because of it. I've let myself go to hell, and I've basically lost whatever true friends I had because I only thought of myself. I'll admit, I have changed a lot at the same time..but in the end it's because of three people that I am the way I am.
Paige, Stella, and Alyssa. Those three girls effected my life the most..and there's more I could add to the list, like the most recent person who has..but I won't. I have given enough information that none of you probably care about. I hope by at least making this public, that I can start to work my way back in earning the friends that I lost. If anyone..I'd like to talk to Stella one more time.
Anyway. My name is Clarence Ray Dillon. I'm nineteen years old, and I turn 20 on September 27th of this year. That means I was born in 1991, the good TV years. Argue with that, because I don't really care. Those of us who lived in the nineties compared to now will know it's true. I'm six feet tall, and weight 290 pounds. I have Thyroid Disease, Acid Reflux, Severe Nerve Damage in my right wrist from breaking the growth plate, and extreme nose bleeds that could end up causing my death(though they've not been that bad yet. Doctors just said they might). I have a fractured Jaw right now, and my legs are turned at the hip so I walk funny.
Most people who see me on the street would classify me as a retard, but I'm anything but. I love role playing and writing, but for almost half a year now I've all but not done that. I'm going through a lot of medical stuff, and trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. I was a high school drop out..and as one, I think I can truly say it wasn't the worst mistake of my life. At the same time I wish I could have finished..I know I would have killed someone. My high school was racist, and sexist. That alone is enough reason to drop out if you ask me. Either way..now you know who I am.
My favorite color is green. Favorite animal is tied between wolf, lion, and tiger for the most part. I like birds and dinosaurs too, but still. My favorite book to day would have to be Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Last Olympian. I recently saw the new Harry Potter movie, and you can say it was rather..revolutionary. I loved it, and it has now become my favorite movie. I love to swim and play video games, but above all else I just like spending time with a certain someone. Maybe someday I'll put her day here, but not right now. I'm sure she understands why. No, in fact I know that she knows why.
WWE. That is all. Okay kidding, not all. I wanted to go out on some sort of a funny statement, but my mind is sort of gone at the moment. So I'll just say something random. Cabbage.
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