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about me.... hmmm how does one write about oneself , thing, that are stricktly truth and not just some opinion mother and father (or their actions) etched into our minds and hearts forever. .... or our friends.. or loss or grief or just the plain old human "?".i would begin by telling you that i am helpful. but its almost always the kind of helpful where you want to do it and usually never the kind where i dont want to
i would continue , telling you i am a lover. i am deeply in love with a man. a man i always feared would never love me. a man , who has nothing but try to love me.. and yet.. im mean to him. i push him away when i feel his grip tigthening around my heart. when i feel him sinking in i wonder how long he will stay before he moves on.. and takes even my soul with him?
i would say i am a fighter.. a scrapper. a warrior. and yet life has a way of crashing into this sand castle kingdom of mine with all the force of a mammoth wave, and i crumble. and much worse than that. i stay down until literally the last minute...
I would say i am a woman of God. a child of Him. wrapped in HIs righteousness... but i harbor fear of betrayal in me. i can be very judgemental especially w whores and man whores. and porn. bleh.
i would say i am a ******** up... like i felt all my life. like everyone told me i was... but im not... im the perfect kind of person to pick up get up and go.
its time we rethink our "identities" people....
my names amanda
i love to laugh dance sing make jokes(sometimes burns) i enjoy computer games animals and brazilian jiu jitsu. when i put my mind to something i work my a** off till its perfect. im a bit ocd and totally bi polar. i love cartoons and feelings and getting into the human condition. no not staying at the top of it. ill dive in please. i will go to face what awaits me down there, and not wait for it to come find me. i make new discoveries every day and i am saved by the grace of god.
the grace the formed me and the plan for me in thw womb and long before
the grace that saved me the day i was born again
and the sustaining grace that would keep my 100 percent in victory if i would but chose to walk in it.
~ About me~
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we'll both say that i fell down...
then they'll never know you pushed me..
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