Welcome to the Crow's Den!

Welcome to the Crow's Den!

Welcome to the Crow's Den!

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, the ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seem to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too ******** sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out then to fade away.

Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain.

It's better to burn out then to fade away. ~last words Kurt Cobain wrote

“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” ~Kurt Cobain

here we lay, in a bed of sorrow and grief.we must stay, for the fear within us if we leave. we have to go! no, no, no! for i'm afraid of what's outside! nothing! not even a place for me to hide! where to go, what to see or do? nothing! so i just tell everyone to shoo... the fear of being alone is coming true...ohh what should i do....what should i do?

1/4 of a short poem i wrote

she sits on the sidewalk on a moonlit night. no one pays attention to her. they just walk by as if everything was fine. as she clenches the knife against her arm. how that relief takes her to places she has never gone before."the first cut is always exciting" he said with a twisted smile as she sits there crying. he proceeded to sit next to her, he took the knife from her hands, and laid it on the curb. still having that twisted smile, he offered a ticket out. the girl couldn't refuse. as they walked together, she could feel loss of consciousness to the amount of blood she lost. he proceeded to carry her to a place with golden gates. for when she wakes up she will know happiness again..