Things I thought were funny
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours? SON: At school*Robot slaps Son* SON: OK,I went to the movies. DAD: Which one? SON: Toy Story*Robot slaps son again* SON: OK, it was Day with a Porn Star. DAD: WHAT? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!*Robot slaps Dad* MOM: HAHA! After all he's your son.*Robot slaps mom*
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no ******** way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh s**t , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, a*****e.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no ******** way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh s**t , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, a*****e.
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