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Report | 03/10/2009 1:10 pm

skeles

anyways i need more water

Report | 03/10/2009 1:02 pm

skeles

well yeah at that time i was but it doesn't matter

Report | 03/10/2009 12:55 pm

skeles

i'm not

Report | 03/10/2009 12:40 pm

skeles

hmm?

Report | 03/10/2009 12:28 pm

skeles

woop

Report | 03/10/2009 12:17 pm

skeles

Silly.

Report | 03/10/2009 12:13 pm

skeles

How could you forget that?

Report | 03/10/2009 12:04 pm

skeles

For now I need someone to talk to so that my mind is kept busy and the person can't be really dense and constantly say "what" and "huh" I'm glad right now I've got you to talk to and you understand so I'm not just talking to a wall. The second my mind is left to wander I'm screwed.

Report | 03/10/2009 12:01 pm

skeles

Yeah I know. As long as my mind isn't allowed to drift into assumptions then I'll be ok. Because when I assume things my mind will believe what it wants even when nothing is happening and it's all just bs that I'm thinking about. So when I believe that bs it screws things over for me and whoever else. So I need to like be able to talk to someone and keep my mind distracted so it doesn't drift. "Assumptions are the mother of all ******** ups."

Report | 03/10/2009 11:53 am

skeles

Yeah, but like how well do you two connect? Do you have a lot of things in common? Me and her do, but we are just too far apart for anything real. I hope though that I can return the favor and go to her place like she did here and spend some time together, but this time not leave out her poor sister who couldn't come.

Report | 03/10/2009 11:45 am

skeles

Yeah everyone says that. It's like I hope there is a way to go beyond that, but I'm not sure and I don't want to force it. I want to be the guy to make her happiest, I want to be the one to take her breath away over and over again, I want to be the guy that makes her heart beat fast and yet even though I do that now just not a lot whenever I see that someone else did it I'll admit I get a little jealous you know. I can't help it I fail like that. She says that I'll find the right girl for me the one to love me that way and stuff. It's sweet and all, but I've been through so much I don't believe I'll ever find my true love or even a love that will last a while and not at the same time be a lie just to make me happy like last time. I always get the "you're a nice guy and you'll make some girl really happy" bit, but I just don't know. Maybe I have to believe them for once and try.

Report | 03/10/2009 11:35 am

skeles

That's not what I'm saying though. We are twins and always will be you know. That's the love we have. However as a guy I want more than that I feel like I need more than that, but it's not my right to decide that for her. To make her want the same of me. Nor is it my right to tell her what she can or can't do. I know this and yet at the same time it's hard to accept even though that's how it is and I don't want to change that. I don't want to lose what we've got that would be far worse than anything. I cling to whatever love I can find because for me it just doesn't happen that often. I hardly ever find a girl I can be myself with that is remotely close to my age. I don't mind making friends and siblings, but I want to find at least one person who can be more than that. Someone closer to my age. She is just two years younger than me and we have so much in common however I'm all the way here and she is far away so we can't do more than just be twins. That's cool and all because she is the first to be that way with me and I don't want to lose that.

Report | 03/10/2009 11:19 am

skeles

Oh well if only you were five years older lol. But like she is allowed to do as she pleases. You know talk to and hang out with whoever she wants and play games with other people.
I know this, however my stupid mind has some trouble accepting that at the same time. So like I am in conflict with myself because I can and can't accept that fact.
I wish I could go into my own mind and destroy that part of me so I never feel that way anymore because it just isn't fair to the person I care about to treat them that way.

Report | 03/10/2009 11:14 am

skeles

I go through it because I'm a stupid boy who is always looking for love, but never finds it at least in the way I want.
Though when I do find it it never lasts. I'm hopeless in that sense. I get too clingy damn it. >.<
I hate myself for that.

Report | 03/10/2009 11:07 am

skeles

I'm going through a weird phase right now and I don't like it. I want it to stop.

Report | 03/10/2009 10:57 am

skeles

Well that time was just an emotional day for me and I just wasn't in the mood so I stepped out to grab some air and clear my head.

Report | 03/10/2009 10:45 am

skeles

Because a wall has no emotion and won't be offended?

Report | 03/10/2009 10:40 am

skeles

so what's with you and the wall?

Report | 03/10/2009 10:31 am

skeles

when i said wall i didn't mean you were a wall

Report | 03/08/2009 3:20 pm

skeles

you are not the only one currently with problems if you haven't noticed by now

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