Yo! Name's Alfred. You've probably heard of me before.

No? Don't think so? Oh, I beg to differ.

United State of America ring a bell? Yeah. That's me.

What, were you expecting boobs?

Sorry, man. That's my sister.



OK. Lemme get a few things straight before we have some conversations, right?

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I'm not into Arthur. That's like dating my dad/brother/no. Do you date your dad or older brother? No. No you don't. You just don't do that. It's awkward and weird.

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Leave me and my lousy economy alone. You know there's other nations who have it ten times worse than me? And they're in that lovely little EUROPE place you're all are so obsessed with.

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Yeah, I've got a few issues, but what country doesn't? Lay off my weight, alright? Least I'm not a hairy mess like France or someone with caterpillars for eyebrows like SOMEONE I know.

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Don't hump my leg. Please. It's embarrassing.

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I'm kind of a little childish sometimes, and when I talk about dirty stuff it's in the most dumbest, childish manner possible.

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Please-- for both my sake and yours; don't push your fangirl idealism's down my throat. Save your breath.

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OOC: I'm really nice and don't bite; promise. If you friend me, leave a comment. It's weird accepting random requests.