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-A SteinxBrennivin fanfic-

Stein leafed through the latest EI glitch reports. “Aluna’s Rose…Wingding…Nano-C.” He muttered, stopping at the Nano-C report. As the Nano-C was full of futuristic weapons, if it had a glitch it was important to get it fixed quickly. He noted the address and the username. Spinmontop. The username sounded somehow familiar. And not in a good way. Despite his bad feelings, he carefully put his report in a file and went to visit Spinmontop. He usually didn’t do home visits as a rule, but he didn’t trust the postman with a Nano-C. And there was that time a fan had posted herself to him wearing an EI, (and nothing else, he had noted) even though it wasn’t glitched.

*tingaling* A bell rang as the door to Dernier*Cri opened, then shut. Kanoko looked over. He looked like just another lurker, not the type to actually buy something. Military boy by the looks of his clothing, and, Kanoko noticed with a sick feeling in her stomach, he had no eyes. He glared at her, as much as a man with no eyes can glare. “Fräulein. I vant two of everything. Zwei. Ja? Und, I vant them to fit me perfectly.” He said. Kanoko looked a bit dazed for a moment. It appears he could still see. “Y-yes sir. I will call Mr Brennivin right away and have him measure you…” Kanoko spluttered. “Nein. No. I have no time now, tell him to visit me at this address, ja?” The man said, handing over a card and walking out. Brennivin did not seem too surprised. “Attitude like that mean he must have extra many many golden! I will visit funny eyeless man!” He said from behind Kanoko, having apparently been there the whole time.

Spinmontop got home as fast as he could in his tank and went straight to the large meat freezer. He removed the meat and other dead things from the freezer and placed a quilted blanket it. He shut it, then went out again. He needed some rope and choloroform, then to stop off at Steinitech, also known as Stitch Bitches, to read the latest posts and take some of them home to see if he could distill crack theories out of them, because it was his job.

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Stein arrived first and knocked on the door. It opened. “Ja?” The occupant, this ‘Spinmontop’ asked. “Hello, I’m here about the Nano-C?” “Oh, ja, it’s nuts, I had to put it in mein freezer!!” Spinmontop replied. “Lead the way.” Stein said politely.
He was led to a large meat freezer, which Spinmontop opened. “In zere, unter ze blanket.” Stein leaned in to grab the blanket, and Spinmontop pushed him in and shut the freezer. There was also a distinct locking sound. Stein sighed. Now he remembered. Spinmontop was from THE FANTHREAD, and this is why he didn’t make home visits.

Brennivin arrived soon after, with more flamboyance and less businesslike stiffness than Stein. “Okay, I cannot be measuring you if the clothes be on!” He said, looking over Spinmontop. “Oh, ja. Can you turn around, please? Bitte? I don’t like being vatched undress.” Brennivin nodded and turned around. That was the last thing he remembered.

Stein must have passed out for as moment or two, for the next thing he knew, he was naked, and there was someone else naked with him in the freezer. Spinmontop, being oh-so-considerate, had left him a flashlight in his lap. Switching it on, he focused it on the other person. Brennivin. He’d seem him around in the street, but they mainly just ignored each other. Brennivin stirred and mumbled something in Icelandic.

“You’re in the freezer.” Stein said to him. Brennivin nodded “It is cold like the mountain.” He said, shivering. “Here, I have a blanket.” Stein said, pulling the blanket out from under him. “We could share it.” Brennivin huddled in closer. Stein moved closer until they were both hugging under the blanket.

Stein was not usually a creature of impulse, and he still couldn’t explain exactly why it happened, but Brennivin kissed him. And that’s what started it. Or so Stein says, anyway. Either way, since then, every time they saw each other in the street, Brennivin would smile and wink, and Stein would look away with a blush crossing his face. “Time to get a new brain…” He would mumble, but secretly he didn’t want to forget.

They were let go the next morning, and Spinmontop watched them leave with a ‘I see whut you did thar’ face. He skipped all the way to Steinitech. “Hey, guys, who wants to hear about what happened in my freezer last night….”