- Joeykinns.
My best friend in the universe.
He's slipping away, into a place he described so vividly in another situation quite like this. He's gone to a place where no one can pull him out, not me...not anyone.
I love him to death. He's more than my best friend, hes more than a brother to me.
He is my soul mate. Whether he likes it or not. I would put him before myself on any occasion. _sigh_ Is that normal?
Jason
A somewhat insignificant part of my life right now.
My boyfriend. Someone whom you're supposed to love and care for. Well, I don't love him anymore. I think I'm still with him because of pity and in fear of what he will do without me. I am his reason for waking up in the morning. and if he's pissed off, I don't know what he'll do. I'm scared to break it off, even though I so desperately want too. I'm just tired of it. I'm not me anymore, and I don't like what I've become. Six months this friday, and almost nothing is the same.
Sure I look the same on the outside, I can still smile and pretend everythings fine. But...I don't want to anymore. I want everything to be fine, the way it was before when Stephanie was my sunshine, and when I was hers. When nothing could come between us. Back in the days when we were inseperable and we liked it that way. In the almost perfect days. In the days where I wouldn't trade her for anything. In the days where she cared.
Stephanie.
I miss her. More than I like to admit. I read her profile a while back and it brought me to tears. She said she would most likely explode without me. & its not true.
Makes me think she never did care. makes me think anytime she called me her best friend, she lied. Lied to my face, just like her lying basted of a cousin; Jason.
Stephanie...Me.
I'm not me anymore like I've said. I can't do what I want...I can't speak whats on my mind. I'm limited I've become this... caged creature that is something completely opposite of who I used to be. I used to be, so much happier now that I think back. I thought I was depressed just because some pissant Chris didn't love me. But I miss those days. I miss the days of being unwanted by someone you love with all your heart. Maybe I don't love anymore... Maybe I just fall into a pit of lust every once in a while. and the sometimes...sometimes. I realize. That its not true. That nothings true anymore....
When nothings the same.
Nothing.
