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******** everything. I had this whole damned thing typed out, and I lost it. Somewhere in the depths of the intarwebs. Oh well. I'll just make it shorter.
So this is my new project. You might ask "why dysfunctional?" Well, children, this might come as a shock to some of you, but I live in a completely dysfunctional household. Yes, it is true. So why am I doing this? Well, for my own amusement, and maybe for others to get a few laughs, too.
And now, I'll introduce the characters.
Mother: Otherwise called "Mother Dearest", "Mom", or to be a southern stereotype, "Ma". She desperately seeks social acceptance, and often dosen't recieve it due to her average income and style. She also, however, want her only daughter to "have that acceptance [she] never had." Ever so unfortunately. She rejects and bitterly fights any sign her daughter shows of independence or eccentricism. Regardless of her husband's actions, she refuses to leave him for fear of being lonely. "You'll leave me, then he'll leave me, and I'll just be left with the dog," is something you'll hear her say often.
Father: Also known as "Daddy Dearest" or "Dad". He's ADD, clinically depressed, and just about as hard-headed as you can get. He was viciously abused as a child, but has blocked it out for most of his life. He had one son with his first wife, and one daughter with his second wife. He hates any opposition to his authority, especially from his children, and displays no signs of affection at all. His most recent love, his daugher's ex-APBio lab particiapant, the goldfish he named "Murray". He and Murray get along well, and Father makes sure Murray is the number one priority when he gets home. He, like his wife, desperately wish for his daughter to wear makeup, mini-skirts and halter tops. Daily, he will be heard saying, "those pants make your a** look fat," in hopes of provoking an argument with his daughter.
Daughter: For the sake of the internet, we'll refer to her as "Sidney", "Sweetie", or "Sid". She is the end of all the jokes, recieves the blame for everything, and is "always making excuses". For unknown reasons, she has been emotionally hardened, dislikes almost all kinds of physical contact, and is extremely independent. She usually prefers to be alone (which, as she has found out, is not easily understood by other people), and enjoys spending that alone time watching the habits of other people. She finds other people extremely interesting, although she would prefer not to interact with them on a regular basis. At times, she can be very eccentric and misanthropic, for which her mother hates her, but she remains apathetic. Her favorite high school experience was when she dyed her hair blue in 10th grade. You'll often hear her saying, "Jesus, will you just leave me the ******** alone?"
So now that we all know who the characters are, let's get to it. I'll go ahead and post one now, just so you can kind of get the feel.
Episode 1: The Tweezers
"Bye, Mom. I'm leaving to pick up Kris, then we're going to Books-a-Million."
"I-"
"I know, I'll be home before 11:30. She's got to be home at 11, anyway."
"No, I know. Um...Sweetie? I think it's time you start plucking your eyebrows."
"What? My eyebrows are fine." You better not even think about coming near me with those tweezers.
"But you're 17 now, and...It won't hurt any."
Like hell it won't. "I know, but I don't care about my eyebrows. As long as I don't have a unibrow, I don't care."
"I know they're fine, but they could be...shaped a little better."
You mean misshapen, like yours? "Ma, they're fine, and I'm leaving."
"Just let me..."
Do you want to lose your "tweezing" hand? "Get away from me with that!"
DrasBrisingr · Sat Dec 30, 2006 @ 03:43am · 1 Comments |
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