I AM SO SICK OF EVERYBODY. MOM AND DAD ARE HYPOCRITICAL MORONS AND FREAKING HORRIBLE PARENTS. They have no idea how to deal with anything. They're just giant kids. I really can't deal with their crap right now. I'm sick of hearing things that I really didn't want to know (TWICE IN TWO DAYS). I'm sick of people making FRIGGIN STUPID mistakes and I have to deal. WELL I CAN'T FRIGGIN DEAL. I JUST CAN'T. THERE IS WAAAAY TO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I DON'T NEED ALL OF THIS!!! I'm sick of just getting teased and criticized and ignored. DO PEOPLE NOT REALIZE THAT I HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH ALREADY????? I can't believe it. I cannot stand ANYONE right now, with the possible exception of Emily. Everyone else demands WAY too much of me!!! And why did everything have to happen??? I CAN'T deal with it. I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T GODDAMIT!!!! I can't even cry to make myself feel better. Just as I'm starting to calm down my stupid MOTHER says something that sets us both off again. SHE IS A LUNATIC. SHE IS INSANE. I HATE IT. Mom and Dad don't trust me and I'm so freaked out right now and I don't know where to go and I really miss Emily because she is really the only person who I feel like I can talk to right now. Mom and Dad don't let me spill my problems to Du because we can't stress her out. Everyone is so distant all of a sudden. I really really miss Emily. I miss her so much that it hurts live crazy. I want everything to go away, get better, just leave me alone I don't care. All day I couldn't decide whether I wanted to be cuddled or just left alone. HOW CAN I DEAL WITH THIS???? I can't. I can't. I'm so overwhelmed. It's not like I'm not trying to keep my grades up. She's evil. She doesn't understand. I'm TRYING!! Can't she see that??? I really want to succeed. I'm sorry I'm such a failure as a child. But you know, if you're children have all turned out so badly then isn't there something wrong with the parents???? WHO NEVER HELPED ME WITH MY HOMEWORK EVER UNLESS I WAS SITTING THERE SOBBING THAT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT???? NO THEY DIDN'T. NOW THEY'RE SAYING THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT MY EDUCATION. WELL DID THEY EVER?????????????????? I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM. I feel like I'm losing everybody. I have no idea how I feel about the people closest to me right now and I need space but I don't want to need space from anyone. I want Emily. I want to cry and tell her everything and just be with her and have her listen. There are so many things I want to say to so many people but I just can't. I want to tell them all to her and have her make it all OK. I just don't care any more. I can't deal. I just can't. I'm sorry for all of my faults and your's too because I have to deal with your STUPID stuff and whatever. I'm just tired.
Iridescence Lila · Thu Nov 30, 2006 @ 12:19am · 4 Comments |