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Here I am. Hoping the world would just hault to a sudden stop. So that all everyhting happening will stop for one second. When and if that ever so happens, one should take the time to stop and take a big whoof of reality. Think and listen. Comprehend the situation and process it over many times of the many thoughts of this certain event. It has helped me and what the hell am I talking about. Just don't read.
Blah. I have tons of senseless things I would like to spill onto paper. but knowing the capabilities of my little self, that will never EVER so ever..ever, happen. So the next best thing. Typing it up. Letting people see, critique and then I can delete it just like nothing ever happened. Then I would have the opinion I required and hopefully the mindless opinionated crowd would forget and move on. So simple, yet so much effort is required. This would be easy for others, some, but whatever.
First let me resume my life until now.
Here I am. Dorothy, commonly known as Dot, Dottai, Dotty, Dottie, you get the picture. Them nicknames practically summarize myself completely. When one thinks of a Dot...the immediate thought of an insignificant speck comes in mind. True. As a name, Dot goes for a five year old girl or a very deranged elderly lady. Both possesing the qualities of apathicy, joy and immaturity. Elderly ladies like that, perhaps, but for a 5 year old kid yes. In a couple of words I am an insignificant immature speck of carefreeness and joy. Being in a happy mood, I couldn't agree more.
I grew up as a very fortunate 'functioning' family. We do live in a country almost free of poverty, and my parents being semi successful has children , a home, food, money, family. Who can ask for anything more. Despite the many flaws a normal possesses, my family is quite alright, Brother, dad and mother whom all love me. That all that I truely look for in the end. Aslong as it's evident.
It wasn't until I was 9 when I began to think of the world as a crap hole. Reality hit close to home and it has never left. Slowly I have learned to cope..blah blah blah.
I have friends that care for me and a boyfriend that is more than I deserve. School is going fine for now and my health has been steadty and clear. Home life with family is very normal and I am happy. Why have a blog then? So one could read about my exciting adventures? I have better things to do. Like rant at the top of my lungs til someone cares. Not like there is such one. Sorry. Shut up.
My current problem is finding a happy median between groups of friends. Until then. I am in a big dilemma
meepit · Sun Jan 02, 2005 @ 06:15am · 1 Comments |
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