|
The Wedding of Habeas Corpus and Ghost of Threque (Pt. 1) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zicae: Heck yeah I'm decked out for the wedding!
 : Then you're just in time Zicae. Presenting the wedding staff. I am Perry, the MC to this event which will serve both as ceremony and reception, held right here in this humbly awesome adobe. Dependent on who else we can find, the part of the ceremony may be filled by other mascots as well. I hope everyone enjoy intermingling with all the guests, and feel free to dig into the supplied cheesecake at the back table.
 : Um, Perry... I forgot the cheesecake.
: Of course you did, you're the best man! The caterer has to worry about the food, you have to keep track of the groom and make him presentable for the wedding.
: ... can't I be the welcome mat and have everyone step on my groin as they enter? I'd prefer that.
: Go Terrance, make the fugly one presentable.
Aquazul: I'd rather step on him...
 : Oo oo!!! Can I be a bride's maid? I've never been one of those before and I want to so badly...
 : Never a bridesmaid, never a bride, eh?
: You'll have to ask Ms. Corpus about that Phillis, and Butch, what're you going to do during all of this?
: Open bar?
: Over there...
: Wow, who knew all that apathy disappeared at the mention of free alcohol... I've never seen Butch sprint before.
Ghost of Threque: And the pant leg's connected to the... t shirt. The tshirt's connected to the... tube sock... Hmm, this song isn't working.
: Ghost... what the hell?
Ghost of Threque: Hey, like I've ever been married before. Isn't this ensemble alright?
: Yes, if you're a blind Barney Fife. Now get out of that before she sees you! Hell, I'm about to call off the wedding on a mercy clause.
: Yes, as announced, there's an open bar next to where the cheesecake would be if the caterer would arrive. Who'd I assign to do that again...
 : Oh, there you are! I have the food.
: Drew... um, while I enjoy baked beans as much as the next guy, couldn't you have at least prepared them? And where's the cheesecake?
: Ha! *pokes*
: ...I thought Dudeman went along with you on this.
: Oh yeah, he told me to go on while he checked the open bar out.
: I'm starting to smell regret for bringing that in...
 : You know, Butch *hicg* I shoudl really ctu Drew lose. He's-- he's a very capblibale hopeless case and I'm never going to change that.
: Do you even have a tolerance? You've been here for three minutes.
: I, I don't take kinderly to those remarks, bloby hallucination.
: Your typos are uncalled for. Now I either take responsibility for you and sober you up before the ceremony, or race to match your state so I don't care.
 : Tequila with a shot of Everclear coming up!
: BaconSandwich, you can bartend? How come I never knew this?
: Nightschool. Something has to pass the time when most thing chewy are still and asleep.
: Yaeh, and ha hell of a b*****d at brewing is this little zombie! Go on, try that whicked shot.
: What'd you hook Brewedman up with?
: I just handed him the drink list.
: So, we have the guests arriving, the bar working nicely and flowing free... a best man, a groom, a shortly-arriving bride... Oh my god.
: What are we missing?
: Gee, I dunno, when's the last time you attended a wedding without a pastor?
: Oh... oh, wait... um... let's see... it was a Tuesday... no, Thursday! 3nodding
: ... why don't we hurt you more?
: Why would you hurt me? What's a pastor, by the way?
Zicae sits at a table and plays with a balloon.
: Where the hell are we going to get a pastor this late in the game?
: Send in the relief pastor!
: My God, doo you here that? It never ends, it never ends... *cries*
Ghost of Threque: Alright, I think I have it this time. I'm even wearing my engagement cape that Habeby bought for me.
: You're still... in newbie shorts. Now though, you have your Neitherworld shirt on and bow in your hair.
Well, yeah, I mean, who doesn't have a bow in their hair these days?
: The groom at a wedding!
Ghost of Threque: ... you may be on to something there...
Zicae pops the balloon. "Whoopsies!"
Yetsuo: Alcohol and a Show ^_^ *walks over and sits next to Zicae* ^_^ *puts his arm around her*
Zicae: *giggles and slaps her bouquet over her mouth*
 : Perry, I--
: Not now Pugsley, we need to find an ordained person to oversee the ceremony. Start by scowering the Life Issues for people going thread to thread trying to actually help, they'll probably be of the cloth. I can't think of anyone else with the patience for helping in that place.
: Actually, I'm ordained in Methodology, the church of Marlon Brando.
: ...really?
: Oh yeah, we're way better than scientology. Our members include such actors as Raul Julia, Johnny Depp, that guy who played Milton in Office Space, and so on...
: But can you perform weddi... Johnny Depp, you say?
: Captain Jack Sparrow is our patron saint of sailing and rum.
: You're hired, until you die or I find someone better. Or just hang around and get ready to read some lines when the time's right.
: So... have you ever really considered writing a webcomic before?
Ghost of Threque: The world's already overfull with sprite comics and funny men without drawing talent. Why do you ask?
: Well you seem to move faster when you're thinking about something else, because you've been getting those pants off for ten minutes now with a painful strain-of-concentration on your face. Now they're heaped on the floor.
Ghost of Threque: Oh... redface So, baseball, huh?
Ersind: EEEP! INDECENT EXPOSURE! *runs around with her eyes covered*
: Oh sweet Lord on a stick covered in chocolate... Terrance, close the door to the groom's dressing room! You've frightened the zombie!
: Oh, sorry. I thought BaconSandwich could stomach that better. *closes door*
: Wait, I didn't freak out. And if I didn't, then who... *stares at Ersind* eek heart
Yetsuo: *sips his drink*
: Ms. Corpus! Ms. Corpus! Can I be a bridesmaid?! Please? I'll wash your car every Saturday for a year, and give you all the backrubs Ghostie fails to hand out freely to you. *puppydog eyes*
: God I hate wedding-vultures...
Habeas Corpus: Well...o_o;;; I dont have anybody assigned, so sure..I guess? o_O; A maskot being a bridesmade...odd..
Yetsuo: Im more here for the Bride.. but Im not a chick... this sux XD
Ghost of Threque: What's formal... what's formal...
: I would say go with the traditional penguin-suit of a tuxedo, but you've never had the occasion to consider buying one before today.
Ghost of Threque: *gasps as he finds one of Habeby's possessions in his dressing room* This'll be perfect!
: ... you missed most of what I said, didn't you?
Ghost of Threque: Penguins! xd
Ersind: gonk Oh, my undead heart...
Zicae: What abo0ut the Maid of Honor? I wanna be the maid of honor! For teh sexy Habey! crying gonk
: Yay! *huggles Habeas* You'll not regret this, I swear! *trips over her own hat, somehow* Sorry, I'm just so nervous! *scattles off to pretty herself up*
: I was waiting for the first piece to hit the fan.
: That orange-haired... angel... what, what's her name?
Habeas Corpus: >_>! Maskot ladyyyyy, I want Zicae ;-; Pweaaaaaaaaaaaseeee?!?
: You know, once I was in love... a grand old lady called Lady Luck... she and I would run the row of houses down by the lake, her granting and smiting random people along the way and I helping the less fortunate ones understand why sometimes horrid things happened. Then, one day, as luck would have it... she left me, after letting me have it square to the junk.
: Um... where'd you keep your junk, Dudeman?
: Right next to the shattered pieces of what used to be a man, Drew. Right next to them... *sobs*
: You still haven't had a drink! How can you reach the bitter-regretful depresison stage already?
: You can have both, Habeas. Phillis just wanted to be a bridesmaid, not the maid of honor. You can have several. All the groom gets is the Best Man and friends.
: About time you stopped gaping at those fuzzy slippers and put them on.
Ghost of Threque: Their coats... so sleek and shiney...
: I myself would say putting on shoes would go after pants, but the world of physics is strange here and there's no qualm with this order.
Ghost of Threque: Pants?
: Please, for the sake of the patrons.
Habeas Corpus: Ooooh, I see >_>! Yay! Maid of honor goes to Zicae then <3
Yetsuo: Are we outside or indoors?
Habeas Corpus: No idea. *goes to fiddle with the dressing up part again* <_<
: Well, I don't see any rainclouds... but I don't see a clear sky either... everything's just beige...
: We're inside, Boy Wonder.
: Wow, thanks Dudeman!
: ... how do you refrain from striking him so often?
: Lots of repression and TicTacs.
Ersind: I'll be a bit late for the ceremonies...I'm being dragged away by wooden stake-yielding caterers. gonk
: Not my new-found love! I won't let them take you away! *speeds from the uber-busy bar towards the wooden stake carrying lot running off with Ersind*
: Oh, she'll be back. They can't keep that zombie down for long if they're using stakes to try and quell her. What's wrong with their mythologies? Have they been watching Buffy and as such confused as to how things work in true fictional reality?
: ... *chomps onto Pugsley's hat*
Ghost of Threque: ...pants?
: I know it seems impossible now, but you can dress yourself decently. The first step to doing this is pants.
Ghost of Threque: Pants!
: Good good, though now we much teach discression.
Habeas Corpus: Can I get away with this as a wedding ...outfit. o_o
: Sure, though I've never seen a Yeti marry before, I'm sure it'll be magnificent.
: Perry, sarcasm's not usually your bag. What gives?
: Our pastor's being eaten by the bartender who's fallen for one of the guests, the groom won't be ready anytime in this decade due to his fashion sense, you've decided to let Drew run amuck today of all days...
: Alright, I've opened all 200 cans of beans! Everyone help yourself. If you want them heated, I've supplied lighters at the end table next to the fondue pot.
: And Phillis no doubt will wreak some havoc once she finishes "dolling up" for the occasion.
: Well, it could always be worse, ol' stick in the mud.
: You've never seen her dress up before, have you?
Habeas Corpus: Let Rache dress Ghostish? yeah? >.> Mascots be nice. Phillis is adorable. o.o;
: Absolutely not! It's bad luck to see him before the ceremony.
: Oh hell, why not let her do it? She has a chance of making him not embarass her with whatever ensemble they're cooking together up there.
 : Butch! He could be naked in there! She might see his... you know...
: They're getting married, Drew.
: But they're not married yet! What if she can't get it out of her mind and ravages him right in front of the alter?
: ... let it never be said that Drew failed to ever make a point.
Habeas Corpus: Oh...so...I'm not supposed to do that?
Zicae: Ah, crap, I forgot to put the limo in park! Don't start the ceremony without me!!! *runs away*
Ghost of Threque: Did you hear a crash outside?
: New pants, Ghost.
Ghost of Threque: Seriously, sounded like a car crash--
: I'll rip them off myself.
Ghost of Threque: Okay okay! *rips off most clothes* How's this?
: Strangely, it's your best effort so far. Maybe we'll keep that one. And yes, I'm kidding.
 : Alright, I'm back! Time to start the fun! Where're the hors-devours?
: She exploded in Technicolor...
: Phillis... um, yeah... the beans are over there, if you're interested. And... *grits teeth* Nice look.
: Thanks Perry! *kisses his cheek* Now how about them beans? *rushes off*
: *rubs furiously at hidden cheek* It's not coming off! What the devil's this lipstick made from?!
: Dudeman, what was that streak of color that ran for the food?
: That's what one calls the eternal bridesmaid, formerly Phillis. Sicne she's never been to any other sort of social gathering *hic* she's inexperienced how to... pretty herself up while maintaining respect.
: Oh... well, she missed most of her face with the colors.
: That's just her desperate cheerful aura trying to reach out and smother everyone at the open bar.
Habeas Corpus: @.@ I'm blind *fall*
Our Lady Silver: *catches Habeas, then comments aside* You may notice in the latest installment how Dudeman abandons his usual persona for that of Drunk and Bitter Jesus from Ghastly's Ghastly Comic. Perhaps he's finally touched some alcohol.
Habeas Corpus: Why is there alcohol at a wedding? @.x I dont want a bunch of drunk people running rampant.
Ghost of Threque: Terrance, I really have to go to the bathroom...
: Have you earned it?
Ghost of Threque: *nods quickly and earnestly*
: Then why are you still without pants?
Ghost of Threque: I put on the chain...
: *sighs* Fine, run in there quick. No more than ten minutes either, or I'm coming in there despite my better judgement.
Ghost of Threque: *salutes and runs in quickly*
Habeas Corpus: Ugh...You know Ghost, you should probably hurry. The parents are talking about going out and doing stuff -.-;
Ersind: Uhhh... I'm back, but from the looks of things not only am I still on time, but I might actually do something in the ceremony. *covers her eyes at Ghost's nudity*
: Terrance, hurry up with the man! His bride's already getting people seated and away from the bar!
: What I don't understand is... is how can you be hanging out with all the other mascots? You obviously can't stand any of them.
: Meh, it has its perks.
: I have to be at the front?! Infront of all these people?! *starts to hyperventilate*
: See?
Yetsuo: *Stands in the back entrance and waits* heh *checks pocket watch*
Habeas Corpus: We're going to have to hold off, loves. --; Stepdads throwing a fit and now we all have to go bowling! Hurrah. After I "accidentally" drop the ball on his foot I'll cheer up again.
: *wanders up beside the zombie, offering her his nonexistant arm* Here for the groom or bride?
: BaconSandwich, you're not the usher.
: And you're not maimed. Let's keep it that way. Anyway, which side may I sit next to you on, zombers?
: Ghost, it's been minutes! What're you up to in there?
Ghost of Threque: I think I heard someone dragging Habeby out the door to a bowling alley.
: You need to be in the bathroom to hear that?
Ghost of Threque: Oo, I found a kitty!
: ... who the hell would marry this guy?
Habeas Corpus: I don't know, Terrance, I think I was drugged when I accepted. I'll be back in an hour or two. Ya'll have fun and don't eat all the cake!
Zicae: Habeas!!! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! You can't!!!! *appears with tire treads across her face and arms*
Ersind: Eh... sweatdrop HOMG...is that chocolate I see? Chocolate.... *eyes widen as she stumbles towards the mint bowl*
Malignant_Spirit: I guess my job as a priest is to.... pray that her stepdad gets injured and we get on with the show? sweatdrop Let us pray ~
Yetsuo: *lowers head*
: ... rejection's a lonely man's game... *sits beside Dudeman and Butch*
: Oh my god, where'd the bride go?
: I think the Russians kidnapped her to bowl for them.
: HOW COULD THEY EXPECT ME TO DO THIS?! *falls to floor, quivering in fear*
: Now now, remember my child what the great Father Brando would say at times like this: stagefright is all in the mind.
Ersind: *gives Bacon a mint and goes back for more sugary goodness*
: The actual priest arrived! Pugsley, back to the dishes for you.
 : But... oh, okay...
: Let the man help in the service. At least someone's hopes will not be shattered on this day...
: Hmm... what do you say Father Mali? Allow Pugsley to aid you with side comments from his Church of Methodology or will he collect the bean cans all night?
Malignant_Spirit: sure, let him do so if he so pleases. Always nice to be offered assistance surprised
Yetsuo: *looks at all the sad and confused blob things* Who thinks they can take me in a shot contest?
: I hear my calling. Call us when the ceremony starts. *heads off to partake in Yetsuo's shot contest*
: Wait, I'll join too. It's a good night for forgetting my own past and drunkenly watching someone else's pasttime begin. *follows*
Yetsuo: *smiles evily* Whats your poison boys?
: Phillis, what's a shot contest?
: I just hope I'm in the crossfire of it, because I'd rather die than stand infront of everyone for a few minutes...
: Oh, so it's like paintball?
Ersind :Can I light the candles?
Malignant_Spirit: *sips on the blood of his lord and hopes no one has the nerve to offer him some cheese*
: Congratulations Pugsley, you can help once the marriage begins.
: The stains of bean residue will not haunt me tonight!
: Let's start off light. Vodka shots, two at a time.
: Sounds... sounds easy enough. It's just like potatoes, right?
: Of course you can light the candles. If any soul tries to forbade you from doing so, I shall strike them down with such force that God himself will shudder in awe.
Ghost of Threque: AND a guitar! This bathroom has everything!
: Okay, I'm officially kicking the door down in three seconds. One... two... three! *hit-drop-outcold*
Ghost of Threque: Oo, sunglasses too! Someone must have been doing ecstacy in here.
Our Lady Silver : I think he's officially trying to do too many scenes at once.
 Ghost of Threque · Wed Aug 02, 2006 @ 11:56pm · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
