Dear Future Self,
today is Tuesday, February 7th, 2023, currently it is 6:15am, it is 33 degrees Fahrenheit, 0.5 degrees Celsius, last night was a rough one, I had a lot to worry about....My staff was VERY rude to me, I think I was so mad that I may have have gotten her fired....but its really her fault sleeping on the job which is not okay....she was rude and disrespectful and it was NOT at all okay....her name is Rahma, and i usually get along with her but lately I think she is burnt out on her job. Because she is totally a rude person. I ain't about to talk to much trash because she is usually my bestie. but she is usually so sweet, so I don't know what happened. DD: but I just wish I knew what was going on. Because now she is affecting my mental health. Like when I dropped a med last night, she told me that I didn't but I did, so I ended up throwing them at her. Childish I know but I was frustrated and overwhelmed because she was yelling at me to give them to her :C. but still I shouldn't have thrown them. Even though she shouldn't have been yelling at me. I feel like she is taking her anger out on me. Also when she got to work LATE, as always, she ate meletonin gummies. Even though I told her they were going to make her sleep. She told me in her exact words, "I don't give a ********, I am tired and I want to sleep...." like the heckin?? not okay 4pm-11pm you can't stay awake that is not okay....I told the owner in my frustration because now it is affecting my mental health. BUT anywho, tomorrow Boolinda's baby is going to be 2 weeks old!! Bebe Gianna =DD I still haven't seen her DD: but she said I can go and see her soon, she is still having a hard time breathing on her own, but is eating good and gaining weight. which is GREAT!! Gianna was born, Wednesday, January 25th, 2023. She is so PRECIOUS!! Boolindas' other child Adrean is 7 and he is such a cutie as well, he doesn't have her disability but Gianna ended up getting it passed down to her. which is not good, but at least now she is talking about birth control for the long term :] which is really good. I am really proud of this girl!! she has made HUGE strides!! although she needs to get rid of the boyfriend....SHHHHH....I didn't say that, but he is horrible to her. He CHEATS on her, even if she makes excuses and says he doesn't HE DOES!! she always says, "Oh he's changed....he doesn't do that anymore...." honey boo boo men don't change that habit....once a cheater, always a cheater, just sayin....especially in this case....he is young and she thinks Gianna will fix their relationship. Belinda is naïve and thinks that a baby can fix a relationship but it does not....because it doesn't. NEVER in history has a baby or a child fixed a relationship....I wish she would realize that DD: I love her as if she were my actual blood sister and soooooo I hang onto her as much as I can and I only want what's best for her, so sometimes it weighs heavily on me and it gets me all worried and depressed and it isn't good for my mental health sometimes. but i worry about this girl, she is young and I love her, she is an important part of my life, but I think I just need to let go and let god at this point. She is in safe housing now thank god!! I am very happy about that, I am just PRAYING he doesn't start hitting her again....I am very worried about that....now that she is no longer pregnant. Anywhos, I ordered a Micro SD card for my switch and amazon keeps switching carriers from Amazon to USPS and it keeps coming a day late!! stressed scream stare mad effin amazon. they always do this....why the heckin are they ALWAYS switching it to usps?? like come on now lazy effers....but i have therapies today i am so excited =DD i can't wait i need it BAD because of Rahma and other stuff, I missed last Tuesdays session even though I didn't miss Thursdays but I DEFINITELY need my twice a week therapies....so yea i think that is about all I have for now, if anything exciting happens I will come back and add on to this!!
Chaos Tabbean Community Member 
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